For all that Katherine Leigh believed herself to be kindhearted, she stifled a smile and wondered how long she could torment her audience before someone forced the issue and ended her performance. And for all her low opinion of human decency, she was quite impressed with how patient people were when she came crashing to a halt once more and began again.
Were they truly not going to do a thing to stop her?
But on her third attempt to restart, the applause came quickly and forcefully enough that Katherine had no choice but to consider the piece finished.
Rising to her feet, she curtsied to the crowd, ignoring the varying snickers and sighs of relief that wafted through the room. Katherine glanced at Miss Flora, whose teary eyes had cleared and cheeks had returned to their usual paleness; the young lady was counted among the more vigorous applauders, her smile conciliatory as their gazes met. Katherine’s heart lightened, and she knew that no matter what else happened tonight, this was a fine evening.
“Brava!” called Mr. Archer, and Katherine’s cheeks immediately heated at seeing him standing, clapping with far more enthusiasm than any performance had warranted. The sound drew attention from the rest of the crowd, who stared at him with puzzled frowns, so Katherine quickly relinquished her place on the stage.
Seated amongst the others, she felt the gazes on her and heard the titters, but ignored them; warmth suffused her chest as Misses Maybury, Fortescue, and Hanbury took their places in the front without the slightest sign of nerves. But then, why would there be? No one could do worse than Katherine.
The piano and violin struck up with the singer quickly following, and the music was quite good, though Katherine couldn’t focus on that whilst her heart was expanding, pressing against her ribs. Her lips turned up of their own accord, though she forced them back into place.
Let others laugh. They did so whether she failed or excelled, so what did their mockery matter? To them, she would always be the eyesore and the irritant. But Katherine had spared others that same fate, and in her own quiet and strange way, she had made the world a better place. That was no small thing.
It was a miracle she remained in her seat, for she felt as light as a breeze. Despite being surrounded by others, peace filled her to bursting, and she held fast to it as the concert ended and she was forced to face the sneering crowd. Jeering glances surrounded her like a fog, and the contentment in her heart burned through it, leaving the day sunny and beautiful.
Moving away from the others, she paused as Mrs. Hamstall stepped in her way with a snicker.
“That was quite the memorable performance, Miss Leigh.”
“As that was my intent, I am pleased it succeeded.”
Mrs. Hamstall flicked open her fan and batted it a few times. “I find it so inspiring that you are so determined to put yourself forward again and again.”
Drawing nearer, the lady dropped her voice to a low whisper and spoke gently, as though attempting to share a secret with a friend. “Though I would be remiss if I didn’t point out that you needn’t play at every event. One ought not to put oneself on display always. Especially when one’s talent is so…unrefined.”
“So that is why you’ve stopped performing.” Katherine didn’t bother softening her retort, though she did lower her voice much as Mrs. Hamstall had and added, “Though if we are exchanging advice, I would say one cannot refine a talent if one doesn’t risk public failure. But then, it is easier to sit in the audience and judge another’s skill rather than develop it oneself.”
Rosanna may have a natural charm, and Katherine may be her opposite in that respect, but she couldn’t blame the entirety of her unpopularity on some uncontrollable otherness, gifted to them at birth. To ingratiate oneself among people, one must play society’s games, and Katherine detested them. Even if she learned the rules as well as her elder sister, she didn’t wish to follow them.
Mrs. Hamstall’s insult had been no less pointed than Katherine’s, regardless of how the lady attempted to dress her hateful words, and Katherine couldn’t muster the interest or desire to follow her example. But from the shocked expressions of the onlookers, it was clear that she was once more the villain of this piece.
“That was rude,” said Mrs. Hamstall with her nose in the air. “I was merely offering you some kindly meant advice, and you snipe at me?”
As the lady’s singing voice sounded like a cat being gutted by a dull sword, Katherine thought her own reply had been quite kind, but she was forestalled when Pamela swept in and took her by the arm, giving Mrs. Hamstall one of those sharp smiles that the ladies employed when facing down an opponent.
“Ah, my dear Mrs. Hamstall. Wasn’t tonight divine? It is a shame you chose to abstain. Your singing voice is unparalleled.” Pamela gave a bright and beaming smile, speaking with that vaguely snide tone ladies used, and Mrs. Hamstall stiffened, her chin tipping upwards before she turned away.
Chapter 21
“Making friends, are we?” whispered Pamela.
“I haven’t the patience to deal with the subtle jabs. When someone is rude to me, why is it acceptable as long as it isn’t overt? I matched her meaning.”
Pamela sighed and nudged her friend. “You are never going to learn diplomacy, are you? But then, I suppose that is one of the things I enjoy about you. Honesty is sadly lacking in society.”
“Bluntness makes them squirm, which is far more entertaining than playing their games,” replied Katherine. “I’ve had my fill of calling people ‘dear’ and behaving as though we are all good friends when we treat each other so horribly. We pretend as though everyone is content and our community is close-knit, but everyone is quick to laugh at another’s downfall and revel in the gossip to come. It is disgusting.”
“Do not measure your words, Katherine. Tell me what you truly think,” replied Pamela with a stilted (but amused) tone.
Katherine chuckled, though it died on her lips as she glanced over her shoulder at the rest of the room and caught sight of a particular gentleman weaving his way through the crowd. Snapping her head back around, she glanced at the drawing room exit and dragged Pamela in that direction.
“Where are we going?” she asked, tugging against Katherine’s hold.
“I need some air.”
“In the hallway?”
