“The lady doth protest too much,” he murmured, and though she wouldn’t turn her gaze to see the expression, she heard the arched brow in his tone and knew the exact manner in which his lips turned up at the corners. “I find it impossible to believe you have such a poor opinion of yourself when you are so quick to put yourself forward. I hear you are not only playing a solo at the Garrisons’ concert next week, but you are accompanying several young ladies. From what I understand, you are doing more than any other lady.”
Katherine frowned, her eyes jerking to him of their own accord. “Firstly, I do not have a poor opinion of my skill. Knowing one’s limitations is not self-denigrating. Whilst I am very capable with certain styles of music, I haven’t the touch for emotive music, which is what dominates modern music tastes. I know it, accept it, but that doesn’t tarnish my value or make me a lesser person. It simply is. Not everyone can be the best at something, and I am perfectly content to do what I can to improve and accept I haven’t the talent to reach loftier climbs.”
Yes, Mr. Archer was watching her with that amused and disbelieving look of his that he always employed when she was speaking of herself. But Katherine didn’t know what else to say to convince him. Having played in public for so many years, she knew precisely how she compared to others, and acknowledging her mediocre standing was hardly slandering herself.
“Secondly, I am only accompanying several young ladies because they asked me to, hoping to keep me too busy to manage a solo. Which is ridiculous, as I have little else to do with my time but practice, and I enjoy performing—”
Forcing her mouth closed, Katherine turned her gaze back to her music.
“And thirdly?” prodded Mr. Archer. “And don’t feign ignorance, Miss Leigh. I heard it in your tone.”
Katherine sighed to herself, her shoulders dropping as her hands fell to her lap. Her gaze drifted to him, and she found him watching her as he always did. As no one else ever did. There was no censure or mockery there. Only curiosity and concern.
And her heart fractured anew.
Straightening, she forced herself to swallow past the lump and shook off that sentiment. It was of no use at present, and she refused to allow herself to be undone by it.
“And thirdly, I do not volunteer because I believe my talent deserves to be showcased.” Turning her gaze back to the music, she studied the notes. Warmth suffused her chest at the flurry of black marks on the page. Talented or not, it took effort to master such a piece, and she had done so.
Katherine focused on Mr. Archer again, fully intending not to say another word, but he watched her so intently. Not demanding an answer, though she was certain he knew there was more. He always did.
Drawing in a breath, she forced herself to continue, “I know I am not as skilled as the other ladies, but performances push me to try new pieces. It gives me a reason to improve. A deadline of sorts. I enjoy attempting it, but if left to my own devices, I do not know if I would go to the effort. I would simply plod along, playing the same pieces over and over.”
Mr. Archer watched her, his gaze holding hers, and Katherine’s heart reached outward, pressing against her ribs as though begging him to see her. The gentleman may be the only one who saw her as anything more than a pest, so surely he could see past the plain facade and recognize the lady who had captured his attention last night. For a long moment, they watched each other, and Katherine’s heart slowed, each beat releasing another pulsing hope.
As he was the only one who ever noticed her for any pleasant reasons, surely he would see her. Realize the truth sitting before him. The silence stretched out, and it felt as though her dreams pressed down on her, as though the very air had weight to it.
“I feel like I should apologize for your family,” he said.
Like a soap bubble on the breeze, the moment burst and evaporated as though it was never there. Katherine rested a hand on the keys and studied her fingers.
Giving herself a moment to steady her voice, she said, “As their behavior is none of your doing, I do not see why you need to.” She drew in a deep breath and hurried to add, “And you needn’t fret. I am quite used to their ways, and though I cannot pretend I am wholly unaffected, it doesn’t disturb me much anymore. Not like when I was younger.”
Mr. Archer shifted, drawing himself to the edge of her line of sight. “And what changed?”
For the first time since she’d entered this room, a hint of a smile drew up her lips. “With age comes wisdom, and with that, a true sense of self that isn’t rattled by others’ opinions. Receiving little outward validation of my value, I was forced to find it within myself. I know my worth, and it is no longer dictated by them. Though it helps that I have an escape planned.”
Katherine stiffened and wished she’d employed a bit of her self-control on her tongue, for she hadn’t intended to tell anyone that detail.
“Ah, you are planning to sail away and join a pirate crew?” asked Mr. Archer with a teasing grin.
Eyes narrowing, she stood and gathered the sheet music with sharp movements. For all that his rascally ways often drew her from the doldrums, her present mood was not the sort that could be laughed away, and Katherine wanted nothing more than to see the back of him.
Mr. Archer held up his hands. “I meant no disrespect, Miss Leigh. I was only jesting. But I am very curious about it. What is your plan?”
“It is none of your business,” she replied whilst nudging her spectacles back into place.
“Do tell,” he said with a smile. “I am quite good with plans, after all. If I can navigate my family’s mill through the economic turmoil of the past four years, I am certain I can be of use in helping you escape your parents.”
“No.” Her tone was tarter than intended, but Katherine couldn’t help the bite. Exhaustion blended with the tumult of the past half hour, leaving her heart wrung out.
Silence followed that pronouncement, and she couldn’t meet his gaze as she busied herself with the music. Even if she were in the mood to speak about such things, it truly wasn’t a wise thing to do.
“I apologize, Miss Leigh. I didn’t mean to pry.” For all his jesting before, Mr. Archer’s tone was quite earnest, and Katherine could well believe that he meant every syllable. But that didn’t change her answer.
Grandmama Cora had been very clear in her instructions, and Katherine couldn’t help but see the wisdom in the lady’s plan. Whether or not she trusted Mr. Archer, it was best not to tell a soul about the money. If Mama and Papa were ever to discover—however inadvertently—they would not stop until they secured the funds for the “good” of the Leigh family, and there was a reason Grandmama Cora hadn’t left it to them in the first place.
No, the money was quite safe where it was, awaiting the time when Katherine needed to leave.
