Marian must’ve sensed the shift in him, for her brows pulled together, her head cocking to the side as she studied him. He cursed crowds, parties, and everything else that kept him from simply taking her into his embrace once more.
“You are a blessing, Marian.”
Chapter 37
Marian straightened, a wry smile quirking up the corner of her lips. “Have you had too much to drink?”
George forestalled any further jests by taking her hand in his. Marian’s gaze fell to it before meeting his eyes again, her brow furrowed.
“My faculties are quite intact, and I cannot go another minute without telling you how much good you’ve done for me.” His voice lowered, though it was still strong enough to carry over the strains of the music. “I would be lost without you.”
Marian’s mouth opened, the lovely line of her throat swaying as she swallowed. Goodness, did he truly think even her neck was lovely? But he couldn’t deny it. Marian Wakefield was glorious through and through.
Before she could say a word to disagree with him (and George knew that was coming), he added, “You are generous and lively. You see the world in a way I cannot, and I thank the heavens that the Almighty placed you in my path to help me be a better man.”
Eyes widening at that last statement, Marian stilled, her fingers entwined with his. Moving closer, George held her gaze, his heart filling with far more emotions than he thought possible for one man to feel. His chest couldn’t contain it all. Love, gratitude, admiration all vied for control as his free hand drifted upwards.
“Marian—”
“Miss Wakefield, there you are.”
The lady jumped at Mr. Highmore’s voice. Schooling her expression (though there was a hint of confusion and frustration coloring her eyes), she turned to face the gentleman.
Mr. Highmore gave her a short bow. “You promised me this dance.”
Blinking, Marian smiled, and George calmed his fraying nerves with the knowledge that it wasn’t a genuine one if the turmoil in her gaze was any indication.
This was her choice. He forced himself to remember that as he watched the two take their place on the dance floor. This was the precise reason he’d sent the invitation, even though his father thought him a fool. But the past few weeks had taught George that love could not be selfish, and there was no other way to describe shunting aside her desires in favor of his own. Marian would choose as she saw fit, and he had to love her enough to support that.
Of course, he didn’t need to stand here and watch the fellow dance with Marian. Turning on his heel, George moved towards the nearest door.
*
Never had Marian been more grateful for Mr. Highmore’s monotone conversation than at that moment. Of course, she would’ve preferred that he hadn’t interrupted George, but if she had to be trapped in a dance with someone, she was pleased it was with a partner who required no true response. A few nods here and there, accented by a vacant smile, and Mr. Highmore hadn’t a clue that Marian’s thoughts were far from him. And she felt doubly blessed that the dance was a quadrille she knew so well that her feet moved of their own accord.
“I would be lost without you.”That was something that could be said of a friend, but even as Marian thought such a banality, her heart thumped a rapid beat, fighting against it. But then, that was always the trouble, wasn’t it? Her feelings were never in dispute. Though she had locked them away for a time, George always had the power to upend her equilibrium.
“I thank the heavens that the Almighty placed you in my path to help me be a better man.”Surely that held more significance than platonic sentiments. That was a sight more than mere admiration. But still, George had mentioned nothing of love. Yes, they had kissed, but it was little more than a buss. Yet even as she thought that, the memory swept through her, flooding her cheeks with heat. His touch may have been simple, but it had conveyed far more power than ardor could manage.
And so, Marian continued to debate the situation, gaining no more ground on either front than she had before. Love or friendship? How was one to know the difference? She could settle for a marriage of convenience, but that was wholly different from a marriage in which she nursed a passion for a man who gave mere admiration in return.
“Miss Wakefield?”
Mr. Highmore’s tone held a touch of impatience, and Marian guessed the fellow had been trying to get her attention for some time. Pasting on a smile, she turned her thoughts to him.
“Do forgive me, Mr. Highmore. I fear my thoughts have strayed.”
Giving her a faint smile, he nodded in acceptance as they turned about the dance floor, the steps pulling them through the quadrille. “Entirely understandable, Miss Wakefield. A ball always has so many things fighting for one’s attention that it can be difficult to keep one’s mind on any one thing.”
“Is Albert feeling better?”
“Quite,” replied Mr. Highmore with a nod. “Otherwise I wouldn’t have come tonight, which would’ve been a shame, as I have long wished to dance with you.”
Marian smiled, though his compliment drew no blush to her cheeks; George had claimed them all tonight, and she had not another to give.
“I had hoped we might go on a drive tomorrow,” said Mr. Highmore.
Thoughts flying to George, Marian wondered if she ought to reject the invitation. Spiders skittered down her spine as she formed words. Could she truly turn Mr. Highmore away? She and George had no understanding. They’d shared a few pretty words, to be sure, but placing all her faith in George’s fickle feelings was a mighty gamble. One she had already taken.
