“I give you my word I will be cautious in what I give them. All will be well.”
Her hands clenched, her muscles shaking as she glared at her father. “You are going to make Leah ill again. You never listen!”
“Why must you ruin things?” said Griffith, taking a big bite of caramel.
“I do not ruin things!” Helen stamped her foot.
“You—”
“Hush, Griffith,” said Silas, nodding at Felix to lead the boy away. Luckily, he was easily distracted by a pair of acrobats. Leah hurried after them, and Silas shouted a warning to Felix that she was following. The lad waved and took the two in hand as they watched the performance.
Helen refused to look at him, keeping her little nose up in the air in a posture he’d seen far too many times from Deborah. Silas sighed, his shoulders drooping as he thought about what to do. She had seemed so amenable of late. He’d thought they’d come to a bit of an understanding, and all had been well until—
Silas stopped and thought it through, hearing Miss Delmonte’s voice admonishing him for not listening properly. And though his daughter’s behavior required a good deal more interpretation than ought to be required, Silas began looking at it again. Shoving aside his immediate feelings on the subject, he considered the whole situation.
“Will you walk with me, Helen?” he asked, offering her his hand. She ignored it but followed him as they meandered about the stalls.
When they reached a quieter area, Silas turned to face her. “Do you want Felix gone?”
Helen’s brow furrowed, and she shook her head.
“You’ve been unhappy since your brother arrived,” Silas prodded. But with Miss Delmonte’s advice coming once more to mind, he realized that such delicate probing would be unlikely to yield results. If Helen was determined to keep him at arm’s length, he couldn’t wait for her to supply the answer, which Helen proved by saying nothing.
Silas knew too little about his little Helen to entirely comprehend the source of her disquiet, but he felt his way there as he spoke.
“Your mama wanted him at school,” he said.
Helen peeked at him from the corner of her eye.
“But as much as your mama wanted that for Felix, it is not what I want—or what he wants, for that matter.” Silas paused, hoping she would say something, but Helen remained silent. Miss Delmonte had advised him to listen better, but what could a fellow do when she didn’t speak?
Helen turned her back on him, and Silas sighed. The outing had already exacted a toll, and it was growing increasingly more difficult to hold onto his patience. All he could do was to trust Miss Delmonte’s belief that Helen cared for him and would show it in time. At least he hadn’t lost his temper this time. That was an improvement.
The child walked off in search of her siblings, and Silas followed after. It was clear she begrudged his bringing Felix home, and Silas had no thought as to how to resolve that issue. But if she wished to allow it to ruin her afternoon, that was her decision to make. The rest of them would enjoy it the best they could.
Silas stood to one side and watched the children as they gaped and gasped over the acrobats’ leaps and tumbles. For his part, he was simply pleased to have all his children together again. Even if one was determined to send him to Bedlam.
If Miss Delmonte were here, she would know what to say. She always did. Silas rubbed a hand against his chest, though it did little to ease the aching. He pictured her standing there, pointing out all the amazing sights to the children. Laughing and smiling altogether.
A month. Silas couldn’t think of another four weeks that had passed so slowly in his life. How much longer did her cousin-in-law require her aid? Surely, Miss Delmonte had done all she could and would return home soon. Her family in Yorkshire weren’t the only ones who needed her. Perhaps he ought to write and tell her how greatly they anticipated her return. How much he wanted her home.
Silas straightened, his brows lowering as he considered that. Had Miss Delmonte been correct about his feelings? That longing for her pierced him at odd intervals throughout the day. He always expected to find her in the nursery or to look up from his book to see her seated across from him in the library. But Silas’s shoulder blades itched as he considered just how often he missed her in moments like this when he needed her expertise or aid with the children.
Were his feelings solely based on how much she did for him? That she was good with the children? That she was present and convenient?
Yet images slipped into his mind of what the future could be. Each was simple and commonplace. Those little moments of life that held little meaning but painted his world in a golden hue simply because they were his. And each one featured Miss Delmonte. Surely, if his feelings were weak approximations of love, their time apart would’ve caused them to wither. Yet weeks with Mrs. Talley and the other unmarried ladies hadn’t altered his feelings.
Love or convenience? That question had haunted him as the days and weeks dragged by during her absence. Surely, the fact that time passed so slowly whilst she was away was a sign that his feelings were more than the passing fancy Miss Delmonte believed them to be.
Silas frowned, tucking his hands behind him as he drew closer to the group. Stepping closer to Helen, he tried to put a hand on her shoulder, but she stepped away, and he held back a sigh.
Chapter 33
Try as she might, Judith couldn’t help but compare Helmsford Place to Stowell Cottage. There was little point in doing so as she had no claim on either place, but minds were not always logical, and Judith’s was content to torment her by contrasting the two. The Byrnes’ home had no gardens to speak of, but the Hardwickes’ were as familiar as her aunt and uncle’s. So much of her youth had been spent traipsing about their neighbors’ grounds, and stepping into them was like transporting herself back through time to when she and Martin had chased each other around the hedgerows with his siblings and Chloe trailing behind.
Jasper leapt from behind a tree with a mighty roar, startling his elder sisters. Soon Douglas rushed after him, and the two scurried about, their laughter filling the air.
“That young man is a rascal,” murmured Martin as he and Judith strolled along the grass.
