Judith counted her blessings that her position wasn’t a permanent one in the community, for he was young enough that the parish would suffer his lackluster performance for some decades more. A rather detestable situation for those who called Titchley home, but Judith would be spared that torture when the time came for her to move onto a new post.
Pulling her cloak tighter, Judith tucked her hands beneath it, rubbing at her chilled fingers. With everyone gathered together, the congregation staved off the cold, but the church was rarely warm, even in high summer. Luckily, Mr. Winton seemed to be nearing the end of his discourse.
Perhaps it was time for her to find a new position. Not immediately, of course. The reasons for staying had not altered. The children needed her, and she wasn’t about to abandon her responsibility to them simply because their father was a… Judith wasn’t certain how to end that sentence, for it required her to understand her feelings towards the fellow. Not that they mattered.
But the fact was that Mr. Byrnes was determined to remarry, and once that happened, Judith could leave the children in the care of their new mother. If the fellow’s concerted efforts over the past sennight were any indication, it wouldn’t be long before he found his bride. He had the money and personality to win any lady in town, so the matter would be settled soon now that he was truly dedicated to the task. And if the number of outings he’d undertaken with various ladies was any indication, Mr. Byrnes was quite dedicated.
Her heart sank as her thoughts supplied the images of how it would go about. Judith standing to one side as yet another gentleman carried off a lady more to his liking with the money and beauty befitting his bride. Being forced to witness their felicity and joy while left alone once more. The possibilities pressed on her, and Judith’s spine bowed as she considered just what that future would be.
Fisting her hand, Judith forced herself to straighten. She set her jaw and drew in a breath, shoving all those thoughts away. No more. Judith would not allow this to go on another moment. She’d spent the past sennight mooning and sulking like some foolish young girl, but she was no flighty thing pushed about by the whims of her heart.
Judith Delmonte had been alone for many years, and she had learned to bear it up. Times may grow difficult, but she refused—absolutely refused—to allow it to hold sway over her. Sorrow had its place, but it had long gone past the point of being cathartic. Wallowing was not a useful pastime, and Judith would not allow herself another moment of it.
She had built herself a life of which she was proud. It was by no means extravagant, and likely, many would consider it a sad thing, but it was hers. Though her aunt and uncle had aided in her first position, the rest of her success had been built by her determination and ability. The clothes on her back had been purchased with her own funds. The books, paints, and brushes in the desk drawers were hers as well. Though at the mercy of her employers, Judith was proud of the fact that her skills and references could easily secure her any number of profitable positions.
All in all, a successful life for a penniless orphan, and it was time for her to remember that and accept that nothing would come of Mr. Byrnes. He had shown her what it was like to be kissed, and for a few delirious moments, Judith had felt desired. Time to embrace the memory for the fleeting moment it was and return to her life as it had been before that night in the library.
Gathering those delicious memories and feelings together, Judith stuffed them away, hiding them from view. Mr. Byrnes would wed another, and she would not allow herself to consider him as anything but her employer again.
When Mr. Winston finally dismissed them, Judith rose to her feet, feeling all the lighter for it. The vicar’s words had naught to do with her raised spirits (as she couldn’t recall the subject of his lecture), yet she’d found a bit of solace to calm her troubled soul, nonetheless. The world seemed all the sunnier when she emerged from the church, and Judith sucked in a deep breath that expanded her heart even further.
The past was over and done. Judith needn’t dwell on it. Embrace it as a beautiful moment and continue on as before.
The children scurried into the churchyard, seeking out their friends with the determination of hounds chasing a fox. Though Judith wasn’t required to watch over them at present, her senses were far too attuned to the children, leaving her aware of them while she wove through the crowd. Alice had them in hand, so there was no need to fret, but she couldn’t help but notice them all the same.
Wandering to the side of the gathering, Judith watched the people milling about and wondered if she mightn’t join one of the groups of ladies, but they did little to welcome her into their circles. Whether it was her marital or social status, few in the congregation seemed interested in knowing Miss Judith Delmonte. She supposed it was simply human nature to categorize, and few people looked beyond those surface similarities and differences to see the heart beneath it. Though her life was vastly different than Mr. Byrnes’s, Judith had found a kindred soul in that gentleman, someone who had understood her despite a difference in station, gender, and marital status. Why could others not see such things?
But Judith enjoyed watching the crowd, even if it wasn’t as pleasurable as participating.
Her gaze drifted to the side of the church and caught sight of Mr. Hatcher standing a few feet away in a similar position. The fellow may not be gregarious, but it was better to stand silently together than alone, so Judith made her way over to his side. Mr. Hatcher nodded at her in greeting but otherwise said nothing as they stood, watching the others.
All the different circles of people stood about, chattering with the animation of those who had just been released from clerical purgatory. One group of ladies broke out into titters while another group of men boomed with laughter, slapping each other on the shoulders and backs in an entirely manly fashion.
Mr. Hatcher stiffened, which was quite a feat as his posture was already rigid.
“Sir?” Judith asked but received no reply.
His gaze fixed on someone in the distance, and Judith followed his line of sight to find Miss Angelica Seton searching through the crowd with a singular determination.
“An admirer of yours?” Judith asked, but any humor she may have felt faded when Mr. Hatcher met her gaze. Though he did a valiant job at hiding it, Judith had come to know his expressions far better over the past weeks, and his gaze had the frantic look of a trapped bird who knew the poacher was coming.
Judith patted his arm and stepped in front of him, herding him behind a corner of the church that blocked him mostly from view. Planting herself beside him, there was not much she could do to shield him, as he was larger than she, but his position left him mostly hidden from the young lady sniffing him out. With a cautious look, Judith glanced over her shoulder to find Miss Seton moving farther away as some of the strain eased from Mr. Hatcher’s shoulders.
“My thanks,” he murmured.
“You are most welcome,” she replied. “Though I cannot fathom why you would linger after services if you do not wish to engage in conversation. You are free to return to Stowell Cottage.”
Mr. Hatcher scowled—though not at her. “I would like to be more at ease among people.” That elicited a deeper frown, and he altered his words. “I need to be more at ease among people. It is essential for the business. I cannot learn such skills without practice.”
Judith thought the practice might go better if he engaged in conversation, but she was all too aware that sometimes merely attending a gathering was all one could manage.
“With Mr. Byrnes as your partner, you needn’t fear on that score,” said Judith. “He is adept at such things.”
“I do not wish to be a burden to him,” he murmured, and Judith smiled at that, though she tucked it away before Mr. Hatcher saw. From what Mr. Byrnes said of their partnership, he felt the same. With time, they would find a proper balance between the two.
“And conversing wouldn’t be such a trial if Miss Seton did not insist on speaking of ridiculous subjects. What do I care about lace or the lateston dit?” he muttered.
“What do you think about gloves?” Judith asked with a hint of a smile.
