“I may not be a poor governess, but I am acquainted with feeling adrift,” he said with a wry smile.
Miss Delmonte’s own grin was brief and fleeting, though it shined in her eyes as she replied, “I believe I said I was a poor,plaingoverness.”
“And that is an important distinction?”
Giving him a regal nod, she said, “It is one thing to be poor, but to be poor and plain is to be doubly cursed. Though Aunt Lavinia did say it would be a boon to my chosen profession since mistresses prefer governesses unable to catch the master’s eye.”
Silas wasn’t sure whether to laugh or gape at that declaration and ended up giving a mixed version of both. “And you claim the lady was kind to you?”
Giving him an airy wave, Miss Delmonte returned to her sewing with a shake of her head. “My aunt is a blunt lady though not intentionally cruel. What she said was merely the unvarnished truth—one I have had confirmed to me several times by my mistresses.”
With a scrunched brow, Silas studied the woman seated across from him. Perhaps her features weren’t shockingly beautiful, but neither were they “plain.” Her nose was prominent, and on any other woman it might look odd, but on Miss Delmonte, it was distinctive. Her eyes were just as unique and wholly hers. Perhaps not the most striking shade of brown, and Silas knew many ladies spent an inordinate amount of time and money to ease the natural puffiness that framed Miss Delmonte’s eyes, but Silas thought them becoming. They were so expressive, and from his perspective, they served to highlight the secret emotions found in her heart.
That fool Hardwicke may have chosen her cousin to marry, but Silas was certain the fellow must’ve been drawn to her lips. No man could gaze upon that feature without being affected.
“I believe I was correct in my omission,” said Silas. “You may be poor and a governess, but I have seen plain ladies before, and you do not fit that description.”
Miss Delmonte paused mid-stitch, her needle hanging in the air as she turned those expressive eyes to him. They were wide, and she blinked at him several times as though trying to decipher what had been comprehensible English. Then she resumed her work, her eyelashes fluttering like a fan in an overcrowded ballroom.
With a quick clearing of her throat, she said, “I will concede the fact, sir, that I was wrong about our situations being entirely dissimilar.”
Then another of those sly glances from under her eyelashes. If Silas didn’t know Miss Delmonte, he might’ve thought it a coy expression, but it held more earnest curiosity than flirtatiousness.
“However, Mr. Byrnes, your future is now in your hands—or as much as any person can have control over such a thing,” she said, her stitches moving quickly along the edge of the tunic. “It will take time to win over children, but you’ve made a good start, and if you continue on as you have, I have no doubt you will gain the day. You have the opportunity and means to marry if you wish. Though you may feel adrift at present, you have every hope of finding your place in the world soon.”
Miss Delmonte spoke with a light, teasing tone, but there was a tightness to her movements that belied her easy expression. Her heart shone in those eyes, bearing witness that more lurked beneath her words.
Silas wondered if he ought to try for a subtle approach, but his heart urged him forward with a bit more reckless abandon than he would otherwise employ. “What is troubling you?”
Dropping her head for a moment, Miss Delmonte let out a faltering chuckle. “I’m afraid you’ve found me in a rather morose mood tonight, Mr. Byrnes. It is of no consequence.”
The lady continued her work with all the air and grace of one unaffected by the troubles of the world, but Silas sensed the deceit for what it was. He could not decipher why his instincts believed it to be so, but they would not allow him to accept her dismissal.
“I’ve come to think of you as a friend, Miss Delmonte, and I’d hoped you did as well.” In other circumstances, the statement might’ve been viewed as a manipulation, but Silas had spoken the words in all seriousness. His stomach sat uneasily as he considered just what her silence meant. Perhaps it was silly to grow so attached, but Silas couldn’t deny the kinship he’d felt for her. His heart sank at the realization that she did not return the sentiment.
Miss Delmonte shoved her sewing away and rose to her feet, drawing Silas up in response. She turned away, pacing in front of the fireplace with a hand pressed to her stomach. His eyes tracked her as she walked to and fro, and when it was clear that this fractious movement was not going to abate, Silas slid back down, settling into his seat as she continued to move.
“It is not easy for me to speak of such things,” she murmured. “I’ve always faced troubles alone, and it feels doubly unnatural to speak to my employer about such matters.”
Silas’s brows rose. He didn’t wish to argue with her but hearing her refer to him in such cold terms pricked at his heart. But what more assurances could he give her? If he gave her a reference in writing now, would she stop assuming he would dismiss her without one for speaking her thoughts? For the moment, all he could do was watch her pace, willing her with a silent litany to speak.
Turning to face him, Miss Delmonte sighed, the burst of energy fading as she dropped to the sofa once more. “I do not know what the future holds for me, and it frightens me. One day I will be too old to continue as a governess, and I do not know if I will have enough savings to last me. And even if I do, who will care for me when my faculties are diminished to the point where I am at the mercy of others? I became a governess to find my place in the world, yet I fear it hasn’t given me any more security than before.”
Leaning forward to match her stance, Silas thought through that unexpected confession.
“And you do not feel you can rely on your family?” Though he suspected the answer, it was best to know for certain.
Miss Delmonte’s expression fell. “If nature takes its proper course, I will outlive my aunt and uncle. Most of my cousins are older than me, which means they shall be in the same situation or worse, and I cannot claim a close connection with any of them. Chloe has maintained a relationship with me, but…”
She struggled with the words, so Silas supplied his own, “It is difficult to know what she would do when you are viewed as more of a companion than cousin.”
The lady nodded with a sad smile. “If I joined her in her convalescence, I doubt her children would begrudge my presence, but it is difficult to trust my future on such an uncertain foundation.”
“That is sound.” Pausing, he considered the possibilities and seized on the first that presented itself. “The logical thing to do would be to begin a venture that could serve as a future investment. Many governesses open schools, and once established, it can continue to earn you an income even after you retire.”
With a vehement shake of her head, Miss Delmonte leaned away, her gaze turning to the fireplace. “I adore teaching, but I cannot bear the thought of dealing with all the business that comes with opening one’s own establishment. And being headmistress would ensure I spend more time sorting out the parents than with my students, which is the worst part of my profession…”
Silas watched her as she grew more animated in her description, and he knew the precise moment Miss Delmonte recalled to whom she was speaking. The lady stiffened, her gaze slanting to meet his, and she sat there like a startled statue until he finally started to chuckle.
