Chapter 11
Despite the blanket, the layers of petticoats, and the sand around her, Judith felt a rock beneath her, but even that constant prick of discomfort couldn’t overshadow the strangeness of this conversation. All her experience with mistresses was for naught when faced with such an anomaly. There was something so defeated in his tone, though Mr. Byrnes maintained an affable air as he watched Helen searching the rocks and shells along the shoreline.
Why was Mr. Byrnes so persistent? It was one thing to speak to him frankly about the children, but it seemed he was determined to engage her in conversations of a personal nature. More unbelievable was how easily he was slipping past Judith’s carefully placed strictures. One did not converse with an employer in such a manner. And certainly, one did not tease and twit him. Yet, that was precisely what Judith had begun to do.
A woman of forty ought not to be so beguiled by a gentleman with an easy smile and carefree manner, and nearly two decades of work could be undone in a moment if she wasn't cautious. A mistress understood that, and Mr. Byrnes ought to as well.
Yet even as Judith formulated the proper words to set him at a distance once more, her traitorous gaze drifted to him. Mr. Byrnes fiddled with his trousers, brushing off stray grains of sand that clung to the fabric, and then he turned his attention to Helen. Though he studied his daughter, there was something in his expression that gave Judith pause. She knew little about the fellow, but Mr. Byrnes seemed a genuinely happy soul. Aggravated and overwhelmed at times, to be true, but at his core, he faced the world with a smile.
One that was conspicuously absent at present.
For all her life experience, Judith did not know how to respond. His features had her feeling like an empty-headed ninny, his desperation had her aching to aid him in his endeavors to win over the children, and now, something else called to her, begging her to take one more step into the unknown. She had ignored her previous strictures, so what harm could it do to speak to Mr. Byrnes in a friendly manner?
Of course, there was plenty of harm to be done, but Judith couldn’t heed those worries when the fellow looked so terribly lonely.
Judith straightened as her thoughts stumbled upon that realization. Mr. Byrnes, with all his fortune and position, felt alone in the world. Casting her thoughts back to the weeks since he’d returned, Judith saw the truth of the matter. His children were warming to him but slowly. His friend, business partner, and guest had not spoken more than one or two words strung together. His callers pertained to financial matters. A fortnight after returning from months at sea, yet no one paid him a friendly visit. He’d spent such little time ashore that he hadn’t been able to develop the sort of connections for which he longed.
Was Mr. Byrnes asking her to be his friend? Had Judith posed the question not five minutes ago, she wouldn’t have believed that a man of his resources and standing required the companionship of his children’s governess. However, his current demeanor attested that yes, indeed, friendship was what he sought. And Judith was well-acquainted with such longing.
“Do forgive me, Mr. Byrnes. I hadn’t intended to put you at arm’s length.”
A spark glinted in the fellow’s eye as he regarded her, and he met that statement with a challenging and all too saucy raise of his brow, which drew a smile from her.
“I suppose I did,” she said, grateful that the wind’s bite provided an excuse for the pinking of her cheeks.
Picking up a nearby rock, he chucked it into the waves. “And why do you keep me at a distance?”
Judith sighed, though it did not carry above the sound of the water lapping at the shore. In for a penny, in for a pound, as they were wont to say. She supposed there was little more damage she could do, though Judith didn’t know who she was trying to fool with such rationales. The intensity of her heartbeat was impossible to ignore. Like a child trying to gain the attention of its mama with an incessant prod, it thumped against her ribcage, begging to be acknowledged.
Someone with whom to speak. A friend. A confidant. Judith couldn’t recall the last time she had someone to fill those roles.
“You are impossible, Mr. Byrnes. You refuse to follow the clearly defined rules between master and governess.”
His brows rose, that cheeky grin making itself known once more. “Because I dare to seek a genuine conversation with my children’s governess?”
“You have already wrested more words from me than a governess ought to speak to her employer, yet now, you expect more.”
“I am a demanding fellow,” he replied. “I require that you not only speak the truth to me but engage me in lively conversation. I am a cad.”
Judith couldn’t help but smile at his dry tone, and she shook her head. “How dastardly of you, sir. A man of your position ought to have a greater sense of honor and dignity.”
“Yes, but I have spent far too much of my life at sea, far from the gentling influences of society.”
Pressing a hand to her lips, Judith tried to cover the laugh that elicited, but it did little good. And devil that he was, Mr. Byrnes was only encouraged by that slip. She needed to get things under control. Conversation was one thing, but silliness was another.
“And what would you have me speak of?” she asked.
“Where do you call home?”
But Judith paused, the silence drawing out as she considered that.
Mr. Byrnes met that with an arched brow. “Is that such an extraordinary question?”
There was such a spark of humor in his gaze, and Judith turned her own eyes away from the sight. Better to keep her attention on the children—where it ought to be.
“Perhaps not for most, but mine is a complicated answer.” Judith sighed to herself as she watched Leah sprint away from the waves, her little feet tangling in themselves as she fell to the ground. Sand clung to her gown, but she gave it no notice, scrambling to her feet just as a wave tickled her toes.
“Mine would not be. I spent my younger years in Bedfordshire but joined the navy as a lad and have hardly been back,” said Silas. “My wife was raised nearby, which is why we settled our home here.”
