With that question, Mrs. Banfield gestured at Mina’s figure with a sweeping motion, as though that provided all the evidence she needed. But Mina felt no flush of embarrassment or spark of anger at that assessment, for her thoughts were fixed on the truth of the situation.
“You are and have always been nothing more than an awkward, ugly woman with the grace of a donkey, Mina Kingsley,” said Mrs. Banfield with another derisive laugh. But as the woman outlined all of her faults and failings, Mina saw the tightness in Mrs. Banfield’s expression that had naught to do with disgust. With each word, it became clearer to Mina.
With a half-smile, she replied, “This awkward, unattractive lady won the heart of Simon Kingsley. You offered yourself to him, and he rejected you in favor of me.”
Yet that was not all. As Mina spoke, epiphanies flooded her thoughts, bringing with them more truths to share.
“You’ve spent your life being admired, yet even in your prime, a frumpy spinster stole away one of your admirers. Not because of my looks but because he loved me beyond all reason. And with each passing year, I grow more greyed and wrinkled, yet Simon loves me still. More, even. For our love has deepened from those first flutters of infatuation into something deeper and more meaningful than can be conveyed in such a simple word like ‘love.’”
Mina smiled to herself. Her heart lightened with that statement, bringing with it a flush of gratitude for the many blessings filling her world. “You are jealous because I am happy. And because he is happier with me than he ever was with you.”
Mrs. Banfield stared at Mina, her expression stoic, though there was a tremble to her lips and a sadness in her eyes that testified to those truths. And whatever elation Mina felt fled in the face of such sorrow.
“You treat me as though I am nothing, but you are not the first to do so,” said Mina. “My life has been filled with acquaintances and strangers wishing to put me in my place because they viewed me as worthless simply because I had not the looks or social grace to earn their respect. So, I learned to see my value even when others do not.”
Mina’s heart twisted as she thought about the lady before her and the others who had so often mocked and maligned her. “Whereas you drew your value from others’ admiration, which they gave freely because of your beauty. But that has faded, taking with it the validation you crave. So, you throw yourself at men, hoping to capture a portion of the love and admiration I receive from my husband and children. And even your own daughter.”
Mrs. Banfield gaped at that, though she said nothing to refute it.
“I am not jealous, Susannah Banfield. I pity you. Vanity and easy affection have cursed your life.” Turning, Mina strode down the hallway with her head held high, though her heart broke for that poor creature. Whatever their past, Mina did not wish such misery on Mrs. Banfield. A life spent as hers would bring nothing but fleeting moments of joy tinged with the knowledge that they would fade. And Mina’s was too precious and full of goodness to be wasted fearing the opinions of others.
***
Nights were meant for socializing and entertainment, and Victoria had spent her grown years in a constant blur of such goings-on and never faltered despite the lateness of the hour. Yet now she felt thoroughly fatigued. It settled on her like a wet cloak of felted wool. If she were to look in the mirror, she was certain to see dull eyes with dark rings beneath them.
What little light and life she’d had before the commencement of the ball had drained, leaving her with only enough strength to remain standing. Even escape seemed impossible, as Victoria would be forced to climb stairs to reach her bedchamber, and that was beyond her.
From across the room, she felt his attention. Though bound to Mr. Flemming’s side at present, Elijah turned his gaze in her direction every few moments, telling her as clearly as any words that he wished to be at her side. And Victoria didn’t know whether to smile or cry at that.
“And how are you faring tonight?” Mr. Kingsley’s question gave Victoria a start, and she cursed her slow wits that hadn’t noticed his approach.
“I do apologize,” he said with a grimace. “I wasn’t quiet when I approached.”
“I fear my thoughts were too occupied to notice. It is not your fault. How is Lily?”
Mr. Kingsley tucked his hands behind him, a grim expression pulling at his features as he sighed. “Our parents escorted her home.”
“That is for the best.” Pressing a hand to her stomach, Victoria shook her head. “You must know I never intended for Phyllis or Hettie to do such a wicked thing.”
“Of course not. You’d never condone such behavior. Though I do wish to thank you for defending my sister as you did.”
Victoria’s eyes widened. “Why wouldn’t I? Lily is a dear and doesn’t deserve that. I only hope it does no lasting damage, though I fear it will not be the end of it for Phyllis. She seems bent on blaming you and Lily for all the ills of the world, and I fear the fracturing of our friendship will only add to it.”
Her stomach sank, though she could not tell if it was dread or disappointment wreaking havoc there. The emotions were too mixed to differentiate, and Victoria had not come to any conclusions about whether or not she wished to heal the breach. Their friendship had lasted for some years, but Victoria did not desire a closer acquaintance with someone who would do such a thing. And for her part, Phyllis seemed pleased to make the break in its entirety.
“But where is your Miss Banfield?” asked Victoria, wishing for a happier subject.
Mr. Kingsley’s brows lowered, his mouth pulling into a frown. “Mr. Littleton was impudent enough to ask for a dance.”
Victoria gave a halting chuckle. “Consider yourself fortunate. She is resplendent tonight, and most of the gentlemen desire to stand up with her, but many are too cowardly to ask while you are standing beside her, staring daggers at them.”
His scowl loosened a fraction before easing away entirely when he met her gaze. “But I did not only come to thank you for your assistance tonight.”
“Oh?” Victoria gave a vacant smile; she did not know what had him so intent on speaking with her, but she suspected it was not an entirely pleasant subject as his lips pulled into a worried frown.
Stepping closer, he lowered his voice. “You’ve been out of sorts ever since we broke with each other.”
Holding onto her placid smile, Victoria gave an airy wave of her hand. “I—”
