“I disagree.” Pain in her chest accentuated those words, pulsing with each syllable.
“Come now, none of us is perfect, but surely you’ve done nothing so terrible to have earned such censure.”
“I just asked you to marry me, despite knowing how that would devastate Mr. Dixon. I think that has earned me plenty of censure,” she replied with a narrowed gaze. “If anyone deserves better than his lot, it would be him.”
Mr. Flemming’s brows rose and he gave a nod. “Indeed, your actions have not been as admirable as they ought to be, but neither are you wholly villainous, either. But that is all the attention your first statement deserves. Regarding the second, we are of a like mind. I’ve known many fine men in my life, and Mr. Dixon is among the finest of my acquaintance. If I were you, I would not surrender him so easily.”
His expression shifted, that spark of humor rekindling in his gaze. “Besides the fact that he is utterly and irrevocably devoted to you, young lady, you were correct in saying that a successful politician needs a good lady at his side to assist in his ascent. My dear wife did much for me, as you could do for your Mr. Dixon.”
“You would encourage me even after how I’ve behaved?”
Despite the seriousness of her question and the sincerity with which she asked it, Mr. Flemming laughed. “My dear, we are all fools in matters of the heart. No sweethearts escape courtship without some ludicrous decision or behavior on the part of one or the other. When those matters are compounded by family expectations and fear, that foolishness is compounded.”
Mr. Flemming’s brows pulled tight together, his gaze growing heavy. “I only wish there were something I might do to ease the way for you and Mr. Dixon. As it is, I am doing all I can to ensure he has a bright future.”
Victoria dipped her gaze to the floor. “I don’t know if there is any way to ease the way for Mr. Dixon and myself, but I would ask you to forget my proposition. I’m ashamed for having approached you about it, and I would prefer it undone.”
“Consider it forgotten, Miss Caswell,” he said with a fatherly smile. “But I would ask something of you in return: reconsider your course of action. You’ve acted rashly of late, and nothing good comes from desperation.”
Her chin wobbled, and Victoria sucked in a deep breath, forcing her heart back under her control before she replied. “You are entirely correct, sir. For all that I like to think myself a rational creature, my actions of late testify that I am flighty and desperate. I will no longer allow my fears to drive my decisions.”
Mr. Flemming nodded, his smile warming. “The true test of character is how we behave when we believe all is lost.”
“And I expected better of myself,” mumbled Victoria.
“Even the best of us falter, so do not judge yourself so harshly. No one can navigate such treacherous waters without getting wet. Begin again and learn from your mistakes.”
The pair wound their way across the dance floor in silence, and while a flush of shame plagued Victoria, she could not wholly regret the moment: clarity was often difficult to find amid such trials, and she had been given a heaping dose of it.
Had she truly thought to marry Mr. Flemming? Regardless of the logic behind such a choice, Victoria couldn’t believe she’d chosen to betray Mr. Dixon in such a manner. She still bore the burdens of her family’s future but seeing herself as the desperate creature she’d become helped clear away the panic strangling her.
The music came to a close, and Mr. Flemming offered up his arm again to escort Victoria from the floor. Before he released her, he bowed low over her hand and met her eyes with the sort of tenderness a father might bestow on a daughter.
“Do not give up on a future with Mr. Dixon. There may be yet a solution that brings you two together.”
Squeezing his hand, Victoria felt like embracing the gentleman and basking in the affection steeped in his words. But even as it warmed her through, a shudder ran down her spine and settled into her stomach with a sickening thud.
“I do not see how we can be together—no matter how I may wish differently,” she whispered. “My family depends upon me, sir, and I cannot sacrifice their happiness for mine.”
Mr. Flemming straightened and nodded, though his expression seemed to say he refused to accept her statement. “I wish you well, Miss Caswell. I truly do.”
And with a final nod, he strode away, leaving Victoria alone. Skirting the wall, she avoided her usual groups of people in favor of a bit of solitude. It was not something she often craved, but at present, it seemed a little bit of paradise. A moment to clear her mind and to simply stand apart and not think about anything but the swirl of dancers and the strains of the music.
Victoria spied Mr. Dixon long before he appeared beside her. She felt his presence drawing closer, though he did not speak as he stood there, his shoulder brushing against hers. When the song ended and the next dance began, he slanted a gaze in her direction with a silent invitation written in his expression.
“I do not think it wise, Elijah—” Victoria winced and amended, “Mr. Dixon.”
Leaning close, he whispered, “It is just a dance, Victoria.”
When she opened her mouth to argue, Elijah wrapped his hand around hers, the warmth of his skin seeping through the fabric.
“For one night, can we not pretend there are no impediments? Play the part of a courting couple lost in the joy of their love?” he whispered as his thumb brushed against her palm. That delicate touch raised goosebumps along her arms, and her cheeks flushed with the warmth that swept through her.
Victoria’s mouth attempted to answer, but her thoughts couldn’t stray from the feel of his touch and how desperately she wanted to be wrapped in his arms.
“If we are bound to a tragic fate, can we not spend one evening embracing that fantasy?” he asked.
“And break our hearts all the more when reality comes crashing in?” Victoria hated herself for asking the question, but one of them had to keep a level head. No good could come from ignoring reality. Yet, her feet moved closer until his shoes brushed the edges of her skirts; Victoria knew she ought to put some distance between them but could not force her body to comply.
