Leaning forward, Victoria held Miriam’s gaze, infusing it with all the joyful feelings of her heart. “I love Mr. Dixon.”
Miriam’s brows pinched together, her mouth twisting into a frown. “How can you say that? Mr. Kingsley is a good man, Victoria. Even if you did not care about his family’s resources and all the blessings that brings, he is kind and generous and apt to be as good a husband as any lady could desire.”
“And Mr. Dixon will be as good a husband—”
“Do you truly wish to live in a tiny rented house in a poor neighborhood with a dozen squalling brats filling the place to bursting?” asked Miriam, her head shaking at the very thought of it. “Or do you wish to go on as Mama and Papa have done, feigning wealth while living in fear that someone will discover the truth or the debt collectors will finally call their bill due? Either way, you will spend your life counting every shilling and fretting over every expense. Is that what you want when Mr. Kingsley is offering you so much more?”
Miriam’s words shivered along Victoria’s spine; what woman would wish for such a difficult life? But the worry did not settle long inside her.
“I admit it would be difficult at first, but Mr. Dixon has a bright future ahead of him. He is bound to be successful in his career, and any hardships endured at first would ease. It is a price I am willing to pay if I can be his wife.”
In truth, Victoria didn’t know why she was speaking of such things. She knew the course set out for her. The proper choice to be made. And yet, this confrontation was drawing forth all the pleadings of her heart, which promised her a glorious future with Elijah was possible.
Her sister stilled, not even breathing as Victoria spoke. For several long moments, Miriam merely held her sister’s gaze.
“And what of Irene, Gladys, and myself? How are we to marry with our pitiful dowries?”
Victoria opened her mouth to respond, though no words were forthcoming, and Miriam spoke over her at any rate.
“I would never ask you to marry unhappily or to some brute. I couldn’t stand the thought of you shouldering a lifetime of agony for our sakes,” whispered Miriam with wide, desperate eyes as she took Victoria’s hand in hers. “But Mr. Kingsley is a good man. Yours would be a strong marriage and a happy partnership that would bring the added blessing of saving your family as well. Yet you would rather abandon us because you want some romantic fantasy with Mr. Dixon? Is the happiness Mr. Kingsley offers not enough?”
Victoria’s thoughts darted about at that accusation. “It wouldn’t be impossible for you to marry. If I found a Mr. Kingsley, sure you could—”
But Miriam let out a huff, shaking her head as she released Victoria’s hand. “Do you think such gentlemen are easy to find? I’ve watched you struggle for years to find such a man, and I do not have your bearing and wit. I am pretty enough, but there are plenty of young ladies who are prettier and come with a proper dowry.”
Stepping away, Miriam straightened her skirts, her lips trembling. “I fear for you, Victoria. Do not make the mistake of tossing aside Mr. Kingsley. You will be happy with him and bless the lives of your entire family. Is Mr. Dixon worth losing all of that?”
Victoria’s heart ceased beating, which was for the best, as it felt as brittle as a leaf and was liable to crumble away into nothing. Miriam strode away without a backward glance, leaving her elder sister to wonder how many times one’s world could be upended in a single day. Both Miriam and Elijah had appeared unexpectedly, setting it all in a dither before abandoning her to pick up the pieces.
Elijah’s kisses were still fresh on her lips, and his tender voice echoed in her ears, begging her not to surrender, but Victoria knew there was no debate as to her course of action. Even if she wrapped herself in justifications now and embraced his offer of marriage, no love or joy could survive for long if it came at the expense of her sisters’ future. Far too many ladies were left spinsters with little to no income, and Victoria would not allow her sisters to be among them.
Hettie and Phyllis had talked of beauty, youth, and connections overcoming financial deficiencies, but that was growing rarer nowadays. Those two young ladies may not recognize the metamorphoses their world was undertaking, but Victoria was not blind to it. The Great Hunger was bleeding many coffers dry and forcing more and more heirs to choose a well-dowered bride. The years between now and when her three sisters would marry weren’t likely to improve the situation.
Miriam was correct. Mr. Kingsley was a good man, and Victoria would be honored and content to be his wife. It was far better than she’d hoped for, and to wish for more was pure greed.
Chapter 20
Never had Oliver been more grateful for the privacy of his thoughts. Granted, the gentlemen around him would be unlikely to raise a fuss over the string of foul language streaming through his head as he tugged and twisted the fishing line. Likely they would laugh at his pedestrian choices, as even in his thoughts he didn’t favor any true vulgarity.
With the rod under his arm, Oliver attempted to decipher the knotted mess in his hands. He would far prefer to hand the ridiculous thing over to one of the servants who served as ghillies, but it was a matter of pride to undo one’s own tangle. Even the more frivolous members of the group handled their gear, as though doing otherwise was an indictment on one’s character.
And so, Oliver was left to grumble and grouse.
It was ridiculous that he was struggling today. Though neither he nor Father were avid fishermen, Oliver was no novice to be tangling his line so thoroughly. Already, he’d lost two flies to the muck and weeds haunting the bottom of the river, and now it seemed his rod was determined to punish him for the mistreatment.
Gentlemen dotted Fyrne River, though the lazy trickle of water hardly warranted the name. It may have been an apt description in some long-ago time and on rare occasions when the heavens dumped great deluges, but in most instances, it was a mere stream.
The forest pressed in around them as the fishermen cast out their lines, their poles arcing forward and back with the elegance of a dancer as they positioned their flies—or attempted to. The sound of the water lapping over the rocks was drowned out by the gentlemen around him; Mr. Flemming, Mr. Nelson, and Mr. Dosett debated the finer points of flies and technique while the younger gentlemen contented themselves with a different battle of wills, in the form of wagers and bragging, punctuated by the ridiculous antics one expected from young men of wealth, importance, and moderate intelligence. Other than Oliver, only Mr. Banfield and Father remained silent—the former due to his concentration on the business at hand and the latter due to his disinterest in the conversations.
Yet even as Oliver cursed it and all those who’d invented the silly tackle, he knew the fishing line was suffering because of his inattention. Truly, he was not such a poor fisherman to make so many mistakes, but with his mind firmly on other things, there was little question as to why Oliver was fumbling so.
Courtship was supposed to be simple. The couple spent time together, decided if they would suit, and then married or parted ways. Gentlemen didn’t even need to show any real imagination when it came to squiring the lady about, as there were expected activities in which all courting couples engaged. Yet Oliver’s life was decidedly complicated.
It was difficult to believe how much had changed since the advent of this wretched house party. Little more than a sennight ago, Oliver had been on the brink of proposing to Miss Caswell. His decision had seemed clear. But then Miss Sophie appeared, who was not a viable option, no matter how she appealed to him.
Oliver yanked at the line, which only tightened the tangles. The urge to cast the rod and reel to the ground overtook him, and it was only by the barest bit of self-control that he reined in the impulse.
Miss Sophie was not possible. His heart could not reconcile the lady he’d come to know with the conniving creature her mother claimed her to be, but even if she was as honest and kind as she appeared to be, there was the issue of his parents. Binding their families together would bring untold misery to his parents, and it wasn’t right for Oliver to allow it.
