“That’s what hurts so badly. I don’t know how they could believe that. And what makes things worse, I cannot change Tristan’s mind. He’s a determined man.”
“I thank you for trying to defend me,” Tabitha said in a choked voice.
“Of course I defended you. Tabitha, I know you did not do the crime. Unfortunately, Tristan feels having you arrested and locked in prison is the only way for him and me to finally be together.” Closing her eyes, she shook her head. “But I cannot possibly love a man who doesn’t trust my word.”
“How can younotlove him, my lady? He’s been in your heart for years.”
Diana wiped her eyes again and met her maid’s gaze. “I’m going to have to bury my feelings for him. It’s impossible for me to make it through life this miserable.”
Tabitha was silent for the longest time as more tears fell down her face. She swallowed hard and nodded. “I do understand, but I shall make it so you don’t have to be unhappy. I shall make it so that you and Lord Tristan are happy together as it should be.”
“What do you mean?”
Taking a deep breath, Tabitha straightened and lifted her chin. “I will turn myself in for killing Lord Hollingsworth and Lord Elliot.”
*
After Tabitha hadsaid the words, ice-cold fear sliced through her. The magistrate would certainly take her word, arrest her and lock her away in the Newgate prison without a second thought. Or perhaps Sir Felix would decide prison was too good for her and have her hanged instead. It wouldn’t matter if Lord Hollingsworth and Lord Elliot were vile, scoundrels who had deserved to die. Because they were gentlemen, that quality alone would protect them in England’s eyes.
Diana gasped and clutched Tabitha’s hands. “What are you saying?” She shook her head. “No! I will not allow you to do such a thing. You are innocent!”
Another tear slid from Tabitha’s eye as she studied the panic etched on her friend’s face. “I might not have stabbed them, my lady, but in my heart and mind I have killed those men—as well as others like them.”
“That is not the same and you know it.” Diana’s lips trembled as if she tried to hold back a sob. “If you turn yourself in, the real killer goes free to murder others, and that is not justice at all!”
“But my lady, how else will you and Lord Tristan ever be together? It’s like you said…until I’m arrested, you and Lord Tristan cannot show your love in public. Nobody can know or they will accuse you of the murders.”
Diana wiped her eyes. “There is no love now, Tabitha. Even when the killer is arrested and Tristan sees how wrong he was for blaming you and tries to come back to apologize, I cannot forgive him. He did not trust me and that is something I’ll never forget.” She took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. “So I will have no more talk of you turning yourself in to the magistrate. Is that clear?”
Nodding, Tabitha glanced down at her lap, surprised she didn’t see her broken heart lying on her lap. It crushed her—nearly suffocated her, in fact—to hear that Lord Hawthorne had thought she was the killer, when only a few moments ago she’d been wrapped in his arms enjoying his heated kiss. How could a man kiss a woman so passionately if he thought she was a killer? Surely, there must be an ounce of kindness in that man for him to have such emotion. Yet now she knew it was all an act. Just as she’d suspected before, all he wanted was to seduce her and she couldn’t believe she fell for his trickery!
For a brief moment, she’d actually thought there might be a chance that the illegitimate daughter of a nobleman could fall in love with a lord and have him love her in return. Curse Lord Hawthorne for making her so vulnerable! Curse him for making her remember things like that were just fairytales and would never happen in her life.
Ever!
She swallowed the knot in her throat that was due to either anger or sadness, she wasn’t sure which right now, and looked back at Diana. “You have always been so kind to me. You have put your life and reputation on the line for Sally and me, and turning myself in would be a way to repay you for your kindness.”
Diana shook her head. “Not if you’re innocent. That proves nothing. Besides, I need you now more than ever. Because I will die a lonely old woman, I shall need your companionship.”
Tabitha tried to smile, but her quivering lips were making it hard. “We shall die together lonely old women because I shall never find happiness, either.”
“I doubt that, Tabitha. You are a lovely young lady and you shall find a man who will cherish you and treat you like a queen.”
Tabitha blurted out a laugh. “You are very humorous, my lady. Aqueenmaybe not, but I’ll be happy if a man treated me with respect. That’s all I want.”
“One day it will happen.” Diana smiled.
They stared at each other for a few more seconds before a frown claimed Diana’s face once again. She moved off the bed and walked to the window. Rain pelted the glass and still sounded fierce as the wind howled through the trees.
“As much as I hate doing this, I think I need to stop Tristan and Lord Hawthorne from traveling in this weather. I’d rather not speak with him, but I must let Tristan know that he and Hawthorne can stay here the night and leave as soon as the storm passes.”
Anger filled Tabitha stronger this time when Lord Hawthorne’s name was mentioned. How she wanted nothing more than to claw his face off… or spit on him, or… cry. Instantly, she shook that last thought from her head. No! She wouldnotcry any longer. She’d known what kind of man he was when she first met him, so it was her own fault for falling for his trickery. Yet now she wanted to get back at him for some reason.
But how?
“My lady, let me go do it.” She snapped her mouth close quickly. Why in the devil did she say that?
Diana turned and looked at her. “Really? You don’t mind?”
