“Trey,” she sighed. She cupped his face and brought his attention to her eyes. “Trey, I have no desire to be your next mistress.”
Pain exploded in his chest, suffocating him. Her confession wasn’t a surprise. He’d suspected she was in love with him.
“I know you don’t.”
“Then why…” She took a deep breath. “Why are you still trying to find me a husband?”
Cursing under his breath, he pulled away and leaned his head back against the sofa, closing his eyes. This wasn’t what he’d wanted to discuss. Yet, he needed to bring his past out in the open no matter how hard it was.
“Oh, Judith. You don’t understand.”
“Help me understand,” she pleaded, grasping his hand.
After inhaling deeply for a couple of minutes, he finally opened his eyes and looked at her. She wore her heart on her sleeves, because the love illuminating from her eyes nearly shredded his heart to pieces. Why did love have to hurt so much? This was exactly what his father had warned him about falling in love.
“I’m incapable of love, my sweet Judith.” There. He finally confessed. So why didn’t it make the pain in his chest disappear?
“How do you know?”
Her question made him want to laugh. She was so innocent. “Believe me, Judith, I do know. I have the same blood as my father. I’m following in his footsteps. But I will do one thing he never did.”
“What is that?”
“I will not break a woman’s heart and ruin her life by marrying. My mother had a miserable marriage. Were you aware of that?”
She nodded as her eyes moistened with tears. “Lord Hawthorne told me about it the other day.”
“I grew up watching the way my father treated my mother. I could never do that to my wife. So in order to keep that from happening, I will not marry. Ever.”
She leaned toward him and stroked his face. “Your father didn’t love your mother. That’s why he was able to treat her so unkindly.”
“I know.”
“So are you saying you will never fall in love?”
He wanted to take her in his arms and let her show him all about falling in love. But he didn’t dare. He knew too many men that had given their heart to a woman only to have it ripped out of their chests later. His brother, Tristan, was a prime example that men shouldn’t give away their souls like trinkets.
He took her hands from his face and kissed her fingertips. “I cannot…I will not allow myself to fall in love.”
She pulled away. Tears brimmed in her eyes. Emotion clogged his throat and he wanted to weep. What a fool he was for letting himself become this attached to his mother’s ward.
“Trey, I don’t believe that. Deep inside of you there’s a loving heart. I have seen it.” She placed her fist on her bosom. “I have felt it.”
“You are the one with the loving heart.” He kissed her lips, gently, then pulled back. “This is why you will remain innocent until my mother and I find the right man to marry you.”
Anger creased her forehead and the lines around her mouth. Tears slid down her cheeks as she shook her head. Letting out a groan, she turned and marched out of the room.
His heart crumbled. He hadn’t wanted to hurt her. The truth needed to come out. Maybe now she wouldn’t tempt him and the feelings between them could end.
*
“Judith, you don’tneed me there,” Isabelle said and adjusted the blankets over her legs. “Trey is capable of escorting you to Lady Newby’s dinner party.”
Judith frowned, mainly for the dowager’s sake. It wasn’t a good idea to have Isabelle know of the plans swimming in Judith’s head for tonight’s party. For certain, the older woman would have heart palpitations.
“I’ll miss you,” Judith said, trying not to grin. “Will you be all right without us here to take care of you?”
The dowager chuckled and flipped her hand through the air. “Now that I’m home and in my own bed, I will be just fine, I assure you.”
