Collin took her hand, led her into the parlor, and closed the door. “Tell me, who on the estate wears a dark blue suit for his uniform and has a bald spot on the back of his head?”
Color left her face. “Stuart is the only one.”
“Right after I was hit in the head and before I blacked out, I saw a man hurrying away from me with the description I just gave you.”
She shook her head. “That makes no sense. Why would Stuart do that to you? He knew who you were, and he wouldhave recognized you even if you were on your horse. And if, by chance, he didn’t recognize you, he would have told me that he ensnared an intruder on my lands.”
“I’m certain he knew I wasnotan intruder, Cassandra. I suspect he doesn’t want me around because he is in love with you.”
She stared at him in stunned silence, but seconds later, she chuckled. “Don’t be ridiculous. Stuart is not in love with me. I’m sure he loves me, but only as a little sister.”
“I know that’s what he wants you to believe, but I spoke with him not more than ten minutes ago, and I assure you, he is in love with you. He is obsessed with protecting you, even if he tried to make me think it was because he is loyal to your family. I understand completely about having dedicated servants, but Stuart has gone beyond what a servant would do for his employer. He spoke to me like a jealous lover and not a servant.”
Sadness filled her expression. “But I would think he knew that I could never love him that way. He cannot be in love with me. I refuse to believe it,” she said softly. “I have been a widow for a year, and not once has he shown more affection than necessary. One would think that if Stuart loved me in that manner, he would have made some kind of overture.”
Sighing, Collin ran his hand across his hair, gently touching the spot on his head that was still tender. “Maybe he was following the rules of mourning.” He shrugged. “I cannot say, but what I do know is the feeling I received after talking to him upstairs. He gave me the distinct impression that he had strong feelings for you.”
Tears slowly filled her eyes, and she turned and walked toward the window. She parted the curtains.
Collin’s chest clenched. She appeared so sad even now. Wouldn’t this kind of information make her angry? And yet…
He sucked in a breath. Had he misunderstood her this whole time? Could she possibly be in love with Stuart instead?
A pain like none other pierced Collin’s chest, making it difficult to breathe. The tightness in his throat made it strenuous to even swallow. He prayed he wasn’t right. He didn’t want to believe Stuart was correct when he told Collin that the love Cassandra had for him was gone.
Chapter Eighteen
Stuart loves me?
Cassandra’s mind cleared, and she recalled all the kindness Stuart had shown her over the years, especially since she had taken him on as her butler. It seemed impossible. But perhaps Collin was correct. Why hadn’t she wondered about the special gleam in Stuart’s eyes when he talked to her? Or the gentle way he touched her arm or hand while trying to give comfort on her worst days?
None of that explained why he would purposely hit Collin in the head so hard. A blow like that could have killed him. Never in her life had she known Stuart to have a mean bone in his body. Yet he did. What had changed the man she once loved like an older brother? And could she get him to admit that he had been the one to strike Collin? Yet it was Stuart’s excuse that made her more worried. Was he the terrible man Collin feared him to be?
She thought for certain Mrs. Thompson was involved somehow. The day of the incident, the housekeeper’s gown had been soiled, and the servant appeared most perplexed when Cassandra asked her about the dress. Plus, there was the fact that the housekeeper kept mentioning plans to get Collin out of the house.
Through the reflection in the window, Cassandra noticed Collin walking closer to her. She didn’t know if he still hated her for wanting to trap him into marriage or not. But she couldn’tbear seeing the look of rejection in those eyes she had once become lost in. She wouldn’t be able to handle hearing his blame for ruininghislife just because his cousin had lied to her the whole time and she didn’t know it. Living with this guilt was difficult enough.
“Forgive me,” he said in a low voice. “I have realized I’m out of place for saying this, but…do you perhaps share Stuart’s feelings?”
Gasping, she spun toward him. His face was filled with grief as he stared at her. “Share Stuart’s feelings?You cannot be serious.”
“But I am.”
“Do you honestly believe I could feel that way about him, especially after all you and I have been through?”
He shrugged. “I don’t know what to believe anymore. Many things have changed between us in one year, so who is to say you haven’t fallen in love with Stuart?”
She stepped toward him. “I need to know something, and I want you to be honest.”
“I have been nothing but honest with you, Cassandra.”
Shame for what she had done to him weighed heavily on her chest. He had been honest, but after she married Lloyd, she never believed it. “Then tell me. Has this past year changed your life?”
His stare intensified, and for many silent seconds, all she could hear was the unsteady rhythm of her heartbeat, and for those undisturbed moments, all she wanted to do was stare into his intoxicating hazel eyes.
“My sweet Cass.” He sighed. “Not only did your life get ruined, but my cousin’s betrayal destroyed my life as well. For the first time that I can remember, I fell in love with a woman, only to have her marry someone else. I had been so in love withyou, Cassandra, that I would have done anything to win your heart.”
As she gazed upon this remarkable man, hope swelled in her chest. Yet she feared to let it affect her in any way. Too many horrible things had happened between them, and she would always be the one to blame.
