“Are we happy with our lives?”
She paused, staring at the plates. He had no right to know how unhappy she had been when his friend came to the cottage instead of Collin. It wasn’t his concern that she had cried herself to sleep on her wedding night and nearly every day for weeks, knowing she should have married Collin instead of Lloyd.
Inhaling deeply, she fought back the anger and shifted her attention to him, studying his incredibly handsome face and wishing she didn’t think that way. Why hadn’t he realized howunhappy she was all those months? And although she had wondered ifhewas happy, she hadn’t wanted to know for fear it would destroy her, heart and soul.
“My lord, I don’t quite understand your question.” She tried to control her irritation. “I suppose I’m happy enough now, but I cannot possibly know if you are happy.”
He released a small chuckle and shook his head. “No, I mean now.”
Her hands shook and the plates knocked together. The tray slipped, but she quickly righted it before everything was dumped on his lap. She carefully set it back down on the night table.
“My lord, let me get one thing perfectly clear. We arenottogether. I live here, and you do not. We are not friends,” she blurted out.
His forehead creased. “We should be friends.” He shrugged. “I cannot explain why, but looking at you and hearing your voice makes me calm, and I feel, deep within my heart, that we were friends once.”
The rhythm of her heart quickened.No!She couldn’t tell him. “We were when we first met, but we feel differently about each other now.”
“Do we hate each other? Because I don’t feel that emotion.”
She forced a laugh, only because if she didn’t, she would scream. “As I mentioned before, we were friends, but we lost touch after I married your cousin.”
He scrubbed his chin as confusion remained on his expression. “I must have been a fool when we met, because you seem like a very kind and understanding woman. I cannot fathom why I wouldn’t want to stay friends with you.”
Heat exploded in her face. She wasn’t sure if it was embarrassment or anger. But she had nothing to be embarrassed about, except that maybe she was acting kind, but it was only because he couldn’t recall their past. “Yes, one wouldassume such a thing from knowing our past. However, that is not what happened.Youdidn’t want that to happen.”
He sighed and frowned. “Then indeed I was a fool. Will you forgive me?”
Emotion choked her throat, and she couldn’t say any more. Tears stung her eyes, but she refused to cry. Hadn’t she shed enough tears for him?
She grasped the tray and hurried out of the room before he could ask anything more. It was too soon to speak after his statement. He had been a fool, but she had been the bigger fool to think she could trap him into marriage, and that he would have met her at the cottage that fateful afternoon.
She took the tray of dishes to the kitchen directly, and then wandered to the dining area. Dora had assembled most of the servants. Cassandra assumed that not all those who worked for her would come running when she called. After all, they never had before, so why should they now?
Dora saw Cassandra and stood from the dining chair, wringing her hands. “My lady, this is all—”
“It is enough,” Cassandra quickly said before peering at each face. As she suspected, they still looked at her as the penniless country girl whose father had forced Lord Kentwood to do the right thing and marry her. The only thing that kept her living at the estate was that she didn’t want to move back home. As she had promised her sister, Cassandra sent home money to her family, keeping them in new clothes and fed with good food. However, even though her father had crawled to her, begging for money, she knew he just wanted to gamble, and she would not pay for his habit.
“I have a few things to say to you.” She swallowed hard and lifted her chin. “It has come to my attention that some of you are still spreading nasty rumors about me. But it will stop now! We have the new lord of the manor staying with us while herecovers, and during that time, you will not breathe one word of your dislike for me. Instead, you will treat me with the respect I deserve.” She folded her arms. “And if you cannot do this, then I give you permission to leave and find other employment—but trust me, I will not give you letters of recommendation.”
Cassandra tried to find the two maids she had caught gossiping, and they were not present. Hopefully they had already left the manor.
“If you would like to stay,” she continued, “things around here are going to change, starting with your treatment of me. If you want me to treat you with respect, then I expect the same in return. But know this now—I won’t hesitate to fire you if I see fit.”
Most of them nodded and muttered something she couldn’t understand. But it didn’t matter. They had been given a warning, and she wasn’t about to go back on her word.
“The next thing I need to discuss with you is the incident this morning with Lord Kentwood. As you know, my husband’s cousin, Collin Worthington, has taken over the title. He came to the estate this morning to discuss estate matters, but someone hit him on the head and knocked him out. Now Lord Kentwood doesn’t have much of a memory, but I’m certain it will return.” She paused, trying to study each servant’s expression. “If anyone witnessed what happened to Lord Kentwood this morning, please talk to me about it.”
The staff nodded again, but this time she understood their mumbles, agreeing to what she had asked. She just hoped that they proved what good servants theyreallywere, since she hadn’t seen it yet.
She supposed it didn’t matter. After all, once Collin’s memory returned, and he decided he wanted to take over the manor, he would probably hire his own servants. Of course, by that time, she would be gone and living on her own, dependinghow much money he chose to give her. Either that or she would live with her family again. Although she didn’t want to do that, it was preferable than living close to Collin.
In the year since she left her family, her brothers had found employment working for a local blacksmith. Sadly, they’d picked up the same habit their father had, and none of them were excellent card players. Cassandra felt sorry for her mother and sister and wished she could bring them here to live.
Perhaps she still would, if Collin allowed her to keep this estate once his memory returned.
As she headed down the corridor, one of the side doors opened and a servant walked inside. Seeing the man who had made her calm since she was younger, she sighed.
“Stuart,” she called to him. “Could I have a word?”
