“No, my darling. I deserve to be happy, just as you do. My family won’t ever know. I’ll make sure of that.”
She pulled her hand away from his. Shaking her head, she took slow steps backward. “There is more.” She swallowed hard. “When I was younger, I had to resort to stealing from other people just to help my mother put food on our table. I cannot have my past revealed to your family or friends. It would destroy all of you.”
“But you don’t understand. I’ll make certain that nobody knows. Katrina, you grew up in the slums. The people I will associate with don’t visit that part of London. I highly doubt anyone will know you or your mother. And if anything, we can create a new past for you so nobody will ever have to know.”
More tears streaked down her cheeks. “Forgetting about my past will not fix the problem. You are a duke, and so you need to find a wife who will be worthy of the title. I’m not that woman.”
“But Katrina.” He stood, reaching for her again but she took another step away from him. “We will make it work, my darling.”
“I’m sorry, Felix. I willnotput you through the humiliation that I have gone through in my life. Find someone else to marry. If you want to make me happy, do this last thing for me.” She reached the door and placed her hand on the latch. “If you really love me, return to England as soon as you can, and please don’t think of me again.”
As she ran from his room, her sobs echoed down the hallway. Sadness encased him, making it hard to breathe. His eyes filled with tears and his body shook with silent cries of agony. She couldn’t be serious—but she was. He wanted nothing more than to chase after her, take her in his arms and convince her that they could make it work. London’s society wouldn’t have to know. He did want to make her happy, which meant he had to do as she wished.
He would return to England as a broken man who had lost at love. Again. But no matter what happened, she would always have his heart.
Chapter Nineteen
Now Katrina knew whythis place was called therainforest. It had been nearly seven days since Felix left the plantation, and out of those days, it had only stopped raining three times. There was no way Robert could take her back through the jungle and return her to her mother until the rain stopped.
She sat by the open window in the sitting room on the main floor, staring out at the rows and rows of rubber trees calledHevea brasiliensisas far as the eye could see. No wonder her father was so wealthy. His plantation was huge.
Although the household was preparing for Christmas in a few days, her heart could never be jovial with them. Not with everything that was going on, and losing Felix.
Because of the rain pelting the plants and ground, the trees and plants looked greener and more alive. The gray clouds were thick in the sky and mirrored her mood today.
Most of the staff were polite to her and went out of their way to bring her whatever she needed, but there wasn’t anyone here she could consider a friend or confidant. Oh, how she would love to talk to someone and pour her heart out to them. She didn’t dare pour out her feelings to her father. His health was so poor she didn’t dare burden him with her problems.
Over the past two weeks, she had visited him once a day, and on some days he was alert and all smiles, and some days he could hardly lift his hand. He told her stories about how he had obtained the plantation. Apparently, he had bought it from his older brother. During his time in Brazil, he had made many friends. From what her father had told her, she gathered he was as powerful as Robert claimed to be. Yet she didn’t dare tell her father about his stepson, because what if Robert was more powerful? A shiver ran through her just thinking about what that evil man would do to the people she loved if she didn’t follow his rules.
Spending time with Henry wasn’t as awful as she had initially feared. She still resented him for abandoning her as a child, but while she was with him, she tried to make his last days pleasant. The sickly man deserved a few happy days before he met his maker.
The more stories Henry told her, the more she realized that he was a very selfish man. No wonder he hadn’t gotten along with her mother—they were so much alike it was sickening. Nonetheless, staying with him had softened Katrina’s heart toward the shock of learning about her mother’s wicked past. Lucy had done what she could to bring in extra money for their small, neglected family.
So far this morning, the house had been peaceful, mainly because she hadn’t seen Robert for several days nor heard his irritating voice grating on her already frazzled nerves. First thing after she’d awakened and dressed, she went straightway to see her father. Unfortunately, he seemed more tired and weak, so she didn’t stay long.
With nothing to do, she wandered into the parlor to sit and stare out the window while memories of Felix resurfaced. Once again, sadness clenched her heart and brought tears to her eyes. Although she hated herself for allowing Robert’s threats to make her do his bidding, ending the relationship with Felix was the right choice. She couldn’t risk his life by keeping the plantation and convincing him to stay in Brazil with her. She knew how high society acted to those who were not as fortunate, especially if one had a scandalous past. Katrina couldn’t bring shame to Felix no matter how much she loved him. He was a good man and didn’t need embarrassment to come upon him or his family. Under no circumstances could she marry such a prominent man.
