When she reached his side and stopped, he moved his shaky hand to turn up the lamplight on the small table next to his chair. A narrow, ghastly face met hers. His eyes were so deeply sunken in, it seemed as though his skull was trying to swallow them whole. It was no wonder he kept himself hidden from the rest of the house. He was a living nightmare, to be sure.
“You are a very lovely young lady,” he said. “You remind me of my sister when she was your age.”
“Then I wish I would have known her.”
He motioned to the empty cushioned chair beside him. “Would you like to sit? I’m certain you have many questions for me.”
“Several, in fact.” She sat on the edge of the chair and folded her hands in her lap. It wasn’t until now she realized her body quivered with nervousness. Once more, she reminded herself that she was in control here—not him! There was nothing to be afraid of. If she had made it through the jungle in one piece, then she could certainly get through this conversation.
“Although,” she continued, “I probably had more questions for you while I was growing up. I fear I have hardened my heart against you now that I’m an adult.”
His frown deepened as he nodded. “That is understandable, but will you allow me to tell you why I left you?”
She shrugged. “I honestly don’t think it will matter one way or another.”
“Please, allow me this one request.”
“I suppose it will pass the time.” She nodded. “Proceed.”
His shaky hand reached to the small table to lift his teacup. It shook as he brought it to his mouth and sipped. Once again, she detected that sweet scent, reminding her of an herb. She couldn’t quite put her memory on which one, though. Perhaps it was one that Felix used to help him feel better.
“I met your mother in London. I was a young man with dreams of traveling to every foreign country I could. Your mother was the personal maid to my aunt. Your mother, Lucy, was very lovely, and she knew how to charm. By the time my visit ended with my aunt, I was smitten with Lucy, so I stayed around a bit longer than I had planned.” He cleared his throat. “Before I decided to leave again, Lucy informed me that she was with child. My aunt insisted that I do right by Lucy and marry her, which I did.”
Katrina shifted in her seat and smoothed out the wrinkles around her knees. She’d heard all this before from her mother while growing up, but she let him continue.
“Not long after we were married,” he resumed, “I met a few men who lived in the area. I was hoping someone would help me find employment. Instead, what I discovered was heartbreaking and disturbed me greatly. Apparently, I was not Lucy’s first... um, man to love her.”
Katrina arched an eyebrow. Was he saying what she thought he was saying? “If you’re trying to shock me by telling me that my mother has made quite a few men fall in love with her—”
“No, that is not what I’m telling you, Katrina. To be blunt, your mother was a harlot. She sold her favors to men. That was how she earned extra money.”
“No.” She shook her head. “My mother wouldn’t need extra money if she was your aunt’s maid.”
“Katrina, your mother is the kind of woman whoalwaysneeds more money. My aunt paid Lucy well, but that wasn’t enough for her. She always wanted more, which was why she sought out men for one reason only.”
Katrina’s stomach twisted and the urge to deny his accusations slammed in her head, but for some reason it wouldn’t come forth on her tongue. Images of past years flashed through her head. She’d been young and hadn’t gone to sleep as her mother had instructed her to do. Katrina had noticed her mother go to the door and let a strange man into the house. Within minutes, she took his hand and led them to the back room.
Another memory came forth from the dark recesses of her mind. She was older and had secretly watched her mother leave the house when she thought Katrina was asleep. A man waited outside for her mother, and grabbed her in an improper embrace, kissing her like he’d known her for years.
Suddenly, more and more memories flashed through Katrina’s mind. She wanted to squeeze her eyes closed and cover her ears. She wanted to run back to her bedroom, curl up on her bed, and cry her eyes out. Indeed, her mother had been a strumpet. Katrina understood her mother had done these things to put food on the table, but this kind of disgraceful behavior would definitely keep her from marrying a respectable man. Katrina would never be worthy of a respectable man with such deceit in her past.
A small pain pounded in her head, and she rubbed her temple. Tears stung her eyes no matter how hard she tried to keep them away.
“Is that why you left her?” Katrina’s voice squeaked so she quickly cleared her throat.
“Yes.” He took a deep, slow breath. “I wasn’t even certain that she carried my baby.”
Katrina nodded. “That explains why you never sent her money.”
“After a few years had passed, I was burdened with guilt. I wanted to know if you were my child or not. By this time in my life, I was making money in the trading business and had hopes of purchasing a plantation. I hired an investigator to find you and your mother. He reported Lucy worked in a tavern with her young daughter.”
She swallowed hard. “Yes, from as far back as I can remember, I helped the owners of the tavern in the kitchen. It wasn’t until I was older that they allowed me to work outside the kitchen.” More memories flashed through her head. Her childhood wasn’t so terrible because the wife of the tavern owner had treated Katrina like her own daughter. Yet when she started working in the tavern, the patrons looked upon her as used goods. Now she knew why. They thought she’d be like her mother.
Another sickening wave passed through her stomach, and she clenched her teeth to keep from vomiting.
“I was kept informed on your progress as you grew older,” he continued. “I still wasn’t certain that you were my daughter, though. One day I was in London on business and decided to drop by the tavern and see you for myself. I wore a disguise because I knew Lucy would recognize me if I didn’t. When I saw you, I couldn’t believe my eyes. You resembled my sister so much, I felt as if I was a young man again teasing my sister like I used to do. That is when I knew I was indeed, your father.”
“How many years ago was that?”
