Got it.“You have to do this forever now?”
He wouldn’t meet my stare. “Til my debt is paid.” The words barely made it out of his mouth.
My chest squeezed at his trembling hands. It was so slightI’m not even sure he noticed himself. But I did. “So… your mother? How is she?”
A light smile flashed across his features, and I thought it could’ve cured all my problems. “She’s good, yeah. Made a total recovery after treatment and elixir and herbs for months.”
For too long, I stared at his heavy eyes, his full lips, and the way his cheeks warmed. It wasn’t my past lover I saw, but an old friend. My lifelong, lost friend. Talking nearly how we used to. And it felt strange, a feeling clustering inside of my stomach. The nostalgia baked with something honest.
Turned out, after three years of self-inflicted torture, I hadn’t pushed Laken away. He didn’t leave me to explore the coast and fall in love with some other woman.
There were a thousand people in this world capable of giving things like love, but the thing with Laken—he never thought he was deserving of it. I could’ve said something sarcastic, something witty, but I didn’t think he wanted to hear that.
“You’re still you, Laken. That didn’t change.” And it never would. He’d be Laken, I’d be Reece, and I wasn’t sure there’d ever be versions of our lives that weren’t intertwined. I didn’t know if I wanted there to be.
Nodding, he didn’t dare to pry further, for either his own good or mine. He hesitated. “I’ve always wondered, why didyouleave?”
I shouldn’t have. I knew I shouldn’t have. But I laughed. I laughed and I shifted and I crossed my arms over my chest. Why did it matter? This was supposed to be about him. Ilooked over the field of green, its grass blowing like a wave in the wind. I remembered the circles he’d traced on my skin, the calming sensation reaching my bones.
Even if I didn’t want to answer, I would. Because Laken had that effect, something I couldn’t explain.
“Me? Why did I leave?” He waited for my response. “Oh… well, um.”Why did I leave?My palms were sweating. “After the town center burned, and with you gone, everyone looked at me like some brokenhearted girl—which I was, but… I don’t know. It didn’t feel like home anymore, I felt lost. I thought I’d find something out there. A job, a different life, a new life, maybe. Honestly, I don’t know what I was looking for.” I sighed. “Maybe that’s why I didn’t find it there.”
I loved the flower shop, I truly did. I loved working with Maggie and having steady income and a secure job… but I never loved making bouquets. I never loved clipping stems and watering plants. I never found a passion in it like at the sanctuary with the creatures. I never grew to love Old Ashton, a town too big for its own good. It wasn’t where I was supposed to be. It wasn’t home.
“Anyway, I’m back here again, so.” I tossed my hands up.
“What did you find out there, then?”
A grin split my lips. “Friendship. Better clothes. And a lot of flowers.”
From my side, I watched him watch me, standing with his hands in his pockets like always. “Doesn’t sound like a total waste.”
Oh. “Gods, no, I loved it,” I explained. “I just… I thought I’d figure it out.”
“And what? Your methods of winging everything didn’t pan out?”
Asshole.“Oh, because you know me so well?”
“I used to.”
“That was a long time ago. And we’re adults now.”
“That may be true, but you’re still you, McCarthen.”Damn my own words.“You still dump cheese on your potatoes?”
“No.” Yes. “Yes.” I liked to consider myself a cheese enthusiast. It belonged on everything.
“Does it still make you sick? Are you still afraid of the dark?”
“Funny, funny,” I mimicked. Unfortunately, my gut did not reciprocate my love for cheese. I typically ended up in the bathroom hours later, but without regret. I offered no excuses. The heart wants what the heart wants. As for the dark, I’d always been terrified. “You made your silly point.”
The air hummed between us, rich with a bond of what once was. Little chuckles, our memories branded onto parts of our bodies, I felt it in the silence. He remembered, too.
“You’ll figure it out, you know. Whatever you think you’re missing. You’re too stubborn not to, and I know that hasn’t changed because it never will.” He smiled wide, and my cheeks blushed.
Maybe, just maybe, he’d be right about that, at least.
Staying close to my side, his hand brushed mine and mylegs went rigid. Every now and then I’d feel the dagger on his thigh bumping into me. “Can I ask you something?”
