She sighs. “I’m just worried.”
I know where it comes from. She’s been taught that whenthings get difficult, the people who love her walk away. I’ll show her, however long it takes, that I’ll never leave her.
I pull her to a stop, positioning her with her back to the students disappearing into the forum, oblivious to what their professors are getting up to behind them. I take her face between both of my hands and plant a fast kiss on her forehead before forcing her to meet my eyes.
“You won’t lose me. Ever. Stop stressing about something that isn’t going to happen. You’re stuck with me forever, for better or for worse.”
Her laugh, low and smooth, lights me up. “Did you just say vows to me, Colton Miller?”
I drop my hands and roll my eyes, walking around her to catch up with the group. “It’s a turn of phrase, Quinn. And I’ll be much more creative when I say vows to my future wife.”
There’ll be no future wife. I’ll have casual relationships and fun hookups, but I won’t subject a woman to a life with a man who can’t give her his full heart.
We make it to the Arch of Titus, the epic entrance to the Forum, and I’m all business again. Inez drops to the back of the group with Quinn while I take on the role of Dr. Miller, who has to be engaging enough to keep seventy-five kids in their early twenties interested in rocks and ruins in ninety degree heat.
It’s not working. I’m losing them. I’m losing myself, and I live for this shit. It’s too hot. We should have split this up over a couple of days instead of tackling it all at once.
“The ruin behind me was one of the most important spots in Rome: the temple of Vesta, the goddess of the hearth. The Romans believed if the fire that burned here went out, Rome itself would fall.”
“Can’t be that strong of an empire if a burned out fire would bring it down,” one student says, gaining laughs from her friends.
I chuckle along with them. “The power of superstition. Or faith. Depends on who you’re speaking with.”
“The temple is famous for its vestal virgins. Romans considered the role to be the greatest honor for both the women and their families. They protected the fire, among other responsibilities, including the obvious one their name would imply—maintaining their virtue.The punishment for not doing so was extreme: the government would bury them alive.”
I look out at the wide eyes of the students. That fact never fails to shock. The idea of lifelong celibacy on the threat of death is inconceivable for these twenty-somethings.
One frat bro laughs. “Good thing Rome doesn’t do that anymore, because all the chicks in our program would be six feet under.”
I walk over to him. “I figure most of our program would be buried. But at least we’d have you around to tell our story.”
I clap him on the shoulder while the other students holler at his expense. Quinn snorts—that ridiculous yet somehow perfect sound—and I can’t hold back the smile that splits my face.
When I turn to the students, they’re staring. Mouths agape and eyes wide. A few shoot excited glances at each other, then back at me and Quinn. I school my face and clap my hands together to get everyone on track as I walk to the front of the group. “That’s the last inappropriate comment we’ll hear in this class. And yes, even those of you who aren’t in my class are in class if you decide to join one of these excursions. Got it?”
The students nod.
“We’re done for today, so explore for as long as you’d like. I’d suggest climbing to the top of the Palatine Hill to see the view before leaving. You’re free. Get the hell out of here.”
The students scurry off like ants. Some of them head straight for the slope to Augustus’s palace at the top of the hill, and I hang back to give them some space.
Quinn comes to lean with me on the boulder, Inez on her other side. Who knows what this one boulder has seen in themillennia since Rome’s height, and we’re using it as a bench. “Calling out a student’s virginal status in class?”
“He’s a dick and needed to be put in his place. I’m not dealing with that bullshit all summer because he thinks putting down women for having sex makes him cool.”
She laughs next to me, a soft sound that burrows under my skin.
“I’m going to head up the hill,” Inez says from her other side. “Anyone joining me?”
“Let’s climb,” I say, as much to burn off this energy as to see the view.
We reach the top, walking through Augustus’s gardens before finding a spot at the railing overlooking the city. This is one of Rome’s historical hills, a peak that sits over the bustling ancient city. I close my eyes, breathing in the scent of the flowers and letting myself imagine the great emperors of Rome in the same location, looking down at the houses and politics and commerce that all depended on their choices.
I think—for the thousandth time—about how I almost missed this. How I almost let my fear, my belief that I wasn’t good enough to make it, keep me away. Now that I have it, I’m not letting it go.
“It’s gorgeous up here,” Inez says, and I open my eyes to find both women staring out at the ancient metropolis.
“It’s always been my favorite spot,” I say.
