She laughs, but I can hear the tears within it. “How can I leaveyou? Who will drive me crazy during myPride and Prejudicerewatches by saying all the lines five seconds before the actors?”
I pull back, squeezing her upper arms. “I’m a pro at this. Monthly video calls where we press play at the same time so we’re perfectly synced. Weekly calls so we can hear each other’s voices and know everything’s okay. Daily texts so we still know every detail of each other's lives.”
“And summers?” she asks.
“And summers.” With the professors from the program speaking out against the initiative—especially Dr. Guarino, who was its staunchest supporter—the rift won’t happen on campus, and maybe that means I’ll get to run this class again, too.
And if not, I’ll just have to rearrange my finances—a lot—to prioritize visiting her.
I give her one last kiss on the check and rush her off to meet her man, holding back the tears in my eyes until she’s safely around the corner.
I jump when Dr. Guarino speaks behind me. “May I have a moment?”
I swipe away the tears before turning to face him. “Of course, Dr. Guarino. What can I do for you?”
“I have some exciting news for you,” he says. “I spoke with President Munchen a few days ago.”
Here it is. The moment I’ve been working and fighting for all summer. He called our president to say he no longer supports the separation initiative, that he sees the value of faculty and staff collaboration and will stand before the faculty senate and back my argument against it.
“I know I was hard on you this summer.”Yes, you were. “I was very stuck in my ways, and I’ll admit I didn’t think you could successfully lead this class.”Just say it. “I was wrong.”Fuck me, I love those words.“I know it’s not my place since I’m not in the business school, but I wanted you to hear it from me. Billings would like to offer you a faculty position.”
There’s a record scratch in my head.
“I’m sorry, what?” I ask.
“You know President Munchen has been working on professionalizing our curriculum. We’ve already approved an on-campus internship course based on the curriculum from this summer. The business department planned on splitting the half-dozen sections between the existing faculty, but when I told her how well you did this summer, we both agreed you should take them on instead.”
“That’s a full-time position,” I say, and he smiles like I meant that as a positive thing. “How am I supposed to do two full-time jobs on campus?”
His smile falters. “Well, you’d have to leave the staff position, obviously. I mean, you won’t be able to do both after…”
My stomach bottoms out as I realize what he’s saying. When he told me he was wrong—that he was impressed with my work—he didn’t mean he was switching sides. He was talking only about my work, not about what it means for Billings.
“You’re still supporting the initiative,” I say, my voice hollow.
He shakes his head like following the path of this conversation is too much for him. “Why wouldn’t I?”
“Because,” I say, the pitch of my voice rising, “I proved this summer that staff have something to contribute to the academic side of our campus.”
“Youhave something to contribute.Youtaught the class beautifully, and Billings would be lucky to have you teaching this course full time.”
“You were never going to give this a real chance, were you?” I ask.
He rolls his lips together, almost apologetic, which is infuriating when he’s destroying my job in a few sentences. “The experiment is flawed by nature. With such a limited sample size, we can’t reach any valuable conclusion. I know you don’t understand how research works?—”
“Idounderstand research. I’ve done my own—hell, I’ve even published my own—but this wasn’t an official study?—”
“You’re right. It wasn’t. This was the faculty appeasing President Munchen. That’s it. We know what this campus needs and have decided on its future.”
“But you admitted you were wrong!”
“About you,” he says calmly, and I want to poke him until he gets as pissed off as I am. “And I hold true to that belief. You have so much to give, and this faculty position will allow you to keep contributing.”
Will.Not would. It’s a foregone conclusion in his mind that I’ll take the position because he thinks I have no other options. He thinks he can bully me into it, just like my father thought he could bully me into living the life he wanted for me.
“I’ll be honest,” Dr. Guarino says like he hasn’t been brutally honest all summer. “You have potential, but we’re not willing to continue dealing with all the other issues on campus, the incessant requests and interruptions, just to see what may happen with that potential. If you want to see your new plans through, this is the way to do it.”
My hands are shaking, and I clutch them together to hide it. “Please don’t do this, Dr. Guarino. We could make things better if we worked together.”
