Having so many people around made me anxious?—it made Shalini’s attempt on my life feel even more real instead of being something I could mentally push away. I wouldn’t tell Thevan that, though.
I smiled brightly at him. “I was just about to find you. I want to speak with my full council.”
“Yes, of course.” Thevan made no attempt to return my sunshine as we made our way through the halls. He turned toward the council room, but I tugged his sleeve and kept walking straight.
I lowered my voice. “Not here. I can’t risk anyone overhearing. Chaaya and Parushi are spreading the word. We’ll meet in the far gardens, the ones closest to the beach.”
Thevan raised an eyebrow but didn’t object as we made our way to the doors leading outside. The guards walking ahead of us flung them open, flooding the halls with the early afternoon sunlight, and they bowed deeply as I passed.
The midday sun shone down on us as we walked to the gardens. Thevan’s blue uniform suited him better than I cared to admit. The threads of gold along his collar shone, lighting up the sharp angles on his face that were softened only by his round eyes and heavy lashes. I wondered what it would be like to be held close to such a uniform. I’d missed the feeling of his embrace. Being enveloped in his arms would have made me feel safer than any number of guards around us ever could.
I forced myself to pull my eyes away from him and gestured at the guards. “Is this really necessary?”
Thevan leaned toward me, and I resisted the urge to close the space between us even more as he spoke in a hushed voice. “You may have hidden the reason for Parushi’s early return, but I know the truth. Now is not the time for recklessness, especially given Tara’s suspicion about other matters.”
I checked to make sure the other guards hadn’t heard. Thankfully, they appeared preoccupied with surveying our surroundings and showed no sign that they’d been listening in.
“I can’t appear weak so early in my reign.” I gripped Ektha’s bangle and wished for the umpteenth time that she were here. If she were rani, nobody would be trying to attack her or turn a village against her in favor of the Porcugi tithes; Ektha would have found a way to convince everyone to stand by her side. I had no such talents, but I refused to appear as anxious as I felt. “If I am not safe in my own fortress, I am not fit to rule.”
“Would you say that about your uncle too?” Thevan arched an eyebrow at me.
My mouth went dry. He had a point. “I’ll be more careful. I promise.”
Thevan stared at me with those amber-flecked eyes that were so hard to read. I wished he’d find an excuse for us to keep talking, but he fell silent instead. We made our way to the beachside wall, and when we reached the final garden before the stepwell, Thevan instructed the guards to stand at the nearby gate.
Soon after they’d taken position, we heard a guard call, “Halt!”
“Don’t be an idiot!” Parushi said.
I could hear her eye roll.
Thevan went to the gates, and after a word with the guards, he ushered in Parushi and Nikith, followed by Tara and Chaaya soon thereafter.
I stared at Nikith worriedly. My once youthful brother-in-law had bags under his eyes and sunken cheeks. He insisted he was well, but I knew he hardly ate or slept. Chaaya told me his servants saw him up late at night, poring over contracts and figures as the moon rose and fell. I’d gone to check on him once, but the flickering flames of his oil lamp brought his grief to light, and their undulating shadows highlighted the hollows in his face. He’d been sitting in front of a large portrait of Ektha, which was garlanded with tenderly arranged flowers. Tears had brimmed my eyes at the sight, and I’d left without speaking to him. I’d gone straight to bed, surely sleeping earlier than he had, but he was up before me the next day, checking his calculations and heatedly pointing at his scrolls that showed our losses in the war with the Porcugi.
Today, Nikith regarded me with just as much concern as I did him. “Are you eating well, sister? I know you sometimes forget to take your meals when you’re busy. Ektha told me...”
His voice faded out. He and Ektha had only been married a few seasons, but I’d seen the way she lit up whenever he entered the room. The way he’d been able to calm her fears and make her smile even when she was nervous. There was little of that man left now.
“Perhaps we should take our midday meals together,” I said.
Nikith blinked at me, aware that I was rebuking his lack of appetite as well.
I made my way toward the corner of the gardens before he could respond, gesturing for everyone to follow me. “Come, let’s go somewhere more private.”
Everyone, including Chaaya, began to follow me, but Nikith cleared his throat as he stepped in front of her.
“Isshegoing to join us?” he asked. “We’ll be discussing sensitive information. It would be prudent for us to limit the number of ears that hear it.”
Chaaya stepped away from the group, looking almost relieved, but Tara pulled her back in.
“Chaaya has been helping to prepare and monitor the rani’s food,” Tara said. “She’s an important part of keeping her safe, which is why I insisted she come along.”
Nikith seemed unconvinced but didn’t argue any further, so everyone followed behind me until we reached the stepwell’s hidden door. I ignored the gasps of astonishment as I opened it. Thevan recovered from his surprise the fastest. He pushed past me, descending the stairs to check for any signs of a threat. Parushi slipped into the doorway behind him, blocking me from the entrance. She ignored my less-than-patient nudges and didn’t move until Thevan said all was clear.
“Enough with the song and dance,” I snapped. “We have work to do.”
“We take our duties just as seriously as you take yours.” Parushi did not turn back as she walked down the stairs in front of me. “We won’t allow any harm to come to you, but you need to stop getting in our way.”
