My gajra.
“How... why...” I had so many questions that I had trouble asking any of them.
“When we left Banghervari, Parushi realized you were leaving all your jewels behind. She remembered you saying this was valuable and thought it best to bring it.” Thevan shrugged. As if it were as simple as that.
“Of course she did.” In a way, it really was as simple as that. To Parushi at least. “But why didn’t she give it to me herself?”
“Nallini told Parushi that sometimes the Spirits have a high price for questions. Parushi wanted you to have a backup plan, but she didn’t want you to yell at her about taking the gajra in the first place.”
I smiled wryly. “Parushi does love a backup plan.”
“Perhaps...” Thevan paused and looked up the mountain. “Perhaps today is a good day for a backup plan.”
“True.” I looked up the slope in front of us and remembered Matanta’s glowing green cave.
Thevan stepped behind me and put the gajra in my hair far more deftly than I would have expected. As he swept his hands from one side to another, a trail of goose bumps formed along my neck. I hoped he wouldn’t notice them... or the way I leaned into his hands as he gathered my curls. A shiver ran down my spine, and he paused. I wondered if he, too, was thinking of the embrace he’d given me the last time he’d seen me shaking. Was he remembering the feeling of my curves pressed against him as he enveloped me in his arms?
He cleared his throat, and soon he was done. He started to climb again, but I reached out and stopped him. “I have something for you too, but I wanted us to be alone first.”
“Oh?” Thevan’s voice sounded odd, suddenly high and strange.
“Your rakhi.” I took it out from where I’d tucked it next to my dagger. “I didn’t want to tie it in front of everyone and take away from Devi’s moment.”
Thevan faced me and spoke slowly. “You wanted us to be alone because you wish to give me a rakhi?”
He closed off his expressions, leaving me searching his face for any clue about how he felt. My eyes went from the curve of the brows to the line of his cheekbones to the black stubble covering his jaw. But no matter how hard I tried to avoid them, I was drawn to his eyes. Dark as they were, they shone.
I realized I didn’t want to give him the rakhi at all. It hung limply in the hand that I extended between us. Thevan inhaled sharply as he recognized the medallion from the bracelet Samanth had given me. I’d had it restrung to make a rakhi and had planned on tying it on Thevan’s wrist, but I couldn’t bring myself to ask for brotherly protection. The thought of treating him as a sibling was repulsive.
The air was thick between us. I could feel the heat of his breath. If I just leaned forward, his lips would brush my forehead. Thevan met my eyes for only a moment before he looked away and held up his wrist in silence.
But I stepped away without touching his hand. Thevan blinked at his bare wrist in surprise, but then he followed my gaze to his new sword. I’d tied the rakhi around the hilt.
“I ask for the protection of your blade,” I said.
Thevan brushed the medallion with his thumb and didn’t speak for a moment as he stared at the ground. The birds trilling in the trees fell silent as they stared, and the breeze that had gently whispered through the leaves died out as we stood in silence, trapped between the reality of what we were and our dreams of what could have been.
Finally, Thevan said, “I will always be there for you. For Ullal.”
“You’ve shown that time and time again.” My voice was soft. Ever so quiet and light, even though my words carried the weight of a thousand unspoken thoughts.
“It’s all I have ever wanted.”
A branch snapped beneath my foot, and it shook us both out of our trance.
“We have work to do,” Thevan said as he turned and continued up the mountain.
He was right. The time had come for me to ask a question.
Chapter 46
As we wove through the paarijaata trees near Matanta’s cave, I was so lost in thought that I didn’t notice Thevan stopping at the tree line. I ran straight into his back. Neither of us moved for a moment while I was pressed close to him. I nestled my head into the back of his shoulder before catching myself and stumbling back.
Thevan turned and grabbed my hand so I wouldn’t fall. I squeezed his calloused fingers gratefully as he held me tight. He guided me back into the cover of the trees once I’d caught my balance. Then he gestured at Matanta’s cave, still holding my hand. “It’s... glowing.”
The fires of the setting sun were already extinguishing, making the green glow at the mouth of Matanta’s cave more pronounced. The light wasn’t a surprise to me, but something felt off. Incomplete. I couldn’t put my finger on it?—nothing seemed out of place. The long grasses of the mountainside bent in the breeze, and the fallen purple paarijaata blossoms decorated the ground.
But something wasn’t right.
