In this way I became one of them, after a fashion. An Argonaut like all the rest.
Atalanta
I came up from the rowing deck to find Medea surrounded by the crew like a court lady. Jason hovered nearby, watching over her.
The sight made me feel strange. This was Medea in her element, the focus of a throng. She was the leader’s future wife, and a princess, and a true lady. She had a place in this world far more than I did. A reminder that, however much I enjoyed her company, it would soon come to an abrupt end with the termination of the journey. Medea would go into the city to live with her husband, and I would return to my forests. The thought made me feel oddly melancholy.
Medea caught sight of me. “Atalanta!” she called, waving. “Shall I do yours next?”
A divination to find Procris. This was the very reason I’d sworn to help Medea, at least at first. I’d wandered long in the hopes of finding Procris, but now that I had come to the threshold, I felt myself pulling back. Even if I found Procris, this would not address the fundamental issue of why she’d left in the first place.
“Not now, I think,” I told Medea, and fled back down to the rowing deck.
37
Medea
The deer stepped daintily through a forest filled with early-morning sunlight. She bent her graceful neck to graze at the green shoots, ears swiveling around to detect any unfamiliar sound.
I crept forward as silently as possible, not wishing to startle the deer and cause her to vanish like a dream at dawn. The sun beat down through the canopy of leaves, making sweat trickle down my back. I lifted my spear arm and took a deep breath, then threw.
To my disappointment, the spear careened sideways and sent the deer leaping through the undergrowth, her tail a white flag of surrender. My shoulders sagged.
“What was that?” Atalanta emerged from the forest, hands on her hips.
“I think it’s what you call a spear throw,” I replied.
“Hrm. More like the fluttering of an unwell bird.” Atalanta could be a ruthless teacher, I was discovering. “Do it like I showed you, with your whole body, not just your arm. Throw from your foot.”
“How in the world am I supposed to throw from my foot when the spear is in my hand?!” I snapped.
Atalanta handed the spear back to me and was about to say more, when she caught sight of something in the undergrowth.Following the line of her gaze, I watched as the ghostly shape of another deer appeared.
Atalanta moved behind me. “Pull back,” she whispered in my ear, and obediently I raised my spear arm. She kicked my legs apart into a proper stance, guiding my aim. Her breasts were like ripe apples pressing into my back, and I suddenly found it very difficult to concentrate on anything at all.
“Now,”Atalanta said. I could feel her breath tickling the back of my neck.
Yes, now I understood. Throwing the spear was like working magic; you had to let it flow through you into the world. I drew back and released, throwing with my arm and my foot and the rest of my body, summoning every ounce of strength I possessed.
The spear struck the deer full in the chest. The animal gave a bleat of alarm and crashed through the forest before falling down. Atalanta whooped in triumph, throwing her arms around me, and I beamed up at her. I’d done it, felt power move through my hands and mastered a skill that owed nothing to my horrible family. Even my magic was a gift from my mother, but this—this was something I’d claimed for myself.
As Atalanta kindled a fire to cook the meat, I knelt by the body of the deer. How still the creature was, its black eyes staring at the sky. Dying so that we might eat and live. Laying my hand on its smooth neck, I murmured the Colchian prayer for the dead to send its soul to peace.
I watched as Atalanta expertly field dressed the deer and roasted the meat, grateful for what she had shown me. If not for her, I might have gone my whole life without knowing I possessed this capability.
Abruptly, I was acutely conscious of everything Atalanta had done for me, from teaching me the uses of the spear to protectingme on Circe’s island. I owed her so much and didn’t like allowing a debt to go unpaid. Her rejection of my offer yesterday to perform the agreed-upon divination unsettled me. Merely making the offer wasn’t enough, it seemed; I would have to insist.
“This will do perfectly well for divination,” I said, indicating the liver of the deer. “You wanted to know where Procris was, did you not? Let’s find out.”
What would I have seen if I’d chosen that moment to look up? Fear on Atalanta’s face, strong enough to stop me in my tracks. But nothing distracted me from giving her what I thought she wanted against all evidence. Perhaps Circe was right in saying that I never gave anyone else the chance to speak, instead remaining single-mindedly focused on proving my own usefulness.
I cut open the liver and began to read.
Atalanta
Wait,I wanted to say.Don’t do it. I don’t really want to know where Procris is. Let her live her life and I will live mine, and we will be nothing to each other but a memory.
But Medea was already bent over the organ. She scowled, then threw the liver on the fire, where it sparked and sizzled.
