‘What are you doing here?’ My question cleaved the air. The shorn roses raised mournful shoots above the soil, and the peacocks raised their heads at the sudden sound of my voice.
‘Isn’t visiting my brother reason enough? Oh, I simply must tell you about a recent jest I concocted. I stole one the apples of the Hesperides and wrote upon it “To the fairest.” Then I rolled it among the Olympians gathered at some wedding, and do you know what? Hera, Athena, and Aphrodite fell upon one another. Each thought it was addressed to her! “To the fairest”!’ She giggled, immensely proud. ‘The Olympians can’t stand it when one of them possesses something the others lack, but your foster mother won, of course. She ingratiated herself with the poor little mortal they found to judge their contest, a wretch named Paris from a place called Troy.’
‘Don’t toy with Aphrodite,’ I warned my sister. ‘No good will come of it.’
Eris tilted her head, a dainty hand covering her mouth. ‘I’m not seeking your advice, sweet brother. I’m merely warning you. Aphrodite promised Paris the hand of the most beautiful woman in the world, and I wouldn’t want it to be that humangirl you’re keeping as a pet. Psyche, I think her name is? Watch her closely, dear brother.’
My body tensed, and my eyes darted towards the house. Before I could respond, black wings snapped open over Eris’s shoulders and she launched herself into the abyss of the sky, still holding the bundle of stolen roses in her arms.
17
Psyche
One night a few months after our return from Taenarum, Cupid asked, ‘Psyche, why do you have two heartbeats?’
It was not long after sunset, and we were cuddled together in the wide bed. My head rested on his chest, and his fingers ran idly through my hair. I pulled away at this question, turning my face towards him though I could see nothing in the dark. ‘What on earth are you talking about?’ I asked.
‘You have two heartbeats,’ he replied. ‘Normally you have only one, but now I can hear another, though it is much fainter. Is this a common condition among mortals?’
Slowly I realized the provenance of his words. My blood had not come with the new moon, but I had thought this was due to the strain of travel. Then it dawned on me that Cupid had never met a pregnant woman before.
Haltingly, I told him what this meant. I felt the blankets shift as he sat up, and for a moment I feared he might flee. Then I heard a bark of delighted laughter and felt his arms twine around me.
‘I have never had a child before,’ he said. ‘Never in all my centuries.’
His kissed me and laughed, his lips as sweet as wine. I relaxedinto his arms and let exhilaration fill me. A child,ourchild. Mortal or demigod, it would be loved.
‘We must make a visit to Mycenae,’ I said excitedly. ‘I must tell my mother and father about their grandchild, and when my time comes, I want to give birth in my home city.’
I’d learned to read the subtle shifts of my husband’s body and voice as easily as others could read the emotions on a face, and I felt the warmth ebb from Cupid. He shied away from my touch. ‘We cannot,’ he said. ‘It’s far too dangerous.’
I felt as though the stone floor had fallen away beneath my feet. ‘Going to Taenarum and descending into the Underworld was far more dangerous!’ I said, outraged. ‘This is my home we’re speaking of.’
‘Thisis your home now.’
Anger rose in me. I would not be a sow, whelping my husband’s children in darkness. ‘I did not grow up here in these halls where no mortal voice breaks the silence. Come with me back to Mycenae. Meet my mother and father before the baby comes.’ I reached for his hand, but he squirmed from my touch.
‘It’s not that I don’t see the appeal of such a plan,’ he said, choosing his words slowly. ‘But it is not worth the risk. Danger trails you like a lamb running after its mother. After Taenarum, I will not see you place yourself in danger needlessly.’
I was shaking with rage. I had been told that pregnant women swing from one emotion to the other like a pendulum, but it was my husband’s obstinacy that fuelled my fury now.
‘What am I to you?’ I asked sharply. ‘A wife, or another one of your pets that you keep locked away in this lonely place?’
My accusations were met with stunned silence. I could tell that Cupid had not expected such anger.
‘What happens when the baby comes?’ I demanded, words rushing out of me like arterial blood. ‘Am I supposed to givebirth here, alone, with only a shadow for an attendant? Will Zephyrus be my midwife? And the baby, will he be god or mortal?’
My heart was galloping in my chest, and my fingers were clutching the bedsheets the way a drowning sailor holds a rope. Other fears loomed in my mind, too pertinent to ignore. ‘Cupid,’ I began, a quaver in my voice. ‘What will happen when I grow old? When you remain young, and my face is creased by wrinkles?’
He did not reply at first, only sighed heavily and turned away. I listened to the rustling of the sheets as he settled himself in. When he did speak, his voice was rancid vinegar. ‘If you only listen to me about staying in the dark, I will never notice the wrinkles.’
Outrage flared in me. I turned my back on him and rolled into a ball, staring into the merciless night until sleep took me.
Eros
I could not explain to Psyche that a goddess had made threats against her life. Psyche would only insist on charging into battle against this enemy, despite all my attempts to talk sense into her. Aphrodite would crush her without the slightest hesitation. I could not risk Psyche’s life or the child’s on such foolishness. Nor could I risk bringing the full weight of the curse upon us.
I came to Psyche the next night with the beginnings of a compromise. ‘We cannot go to Mycenae, but you may receive a visitor here.’
