“He’s my old man,” Sassy blurted.
Whether it was for show or for need, she didn’t care which, Tom took her hand and helped her to her feet, then they walked in silence to the room where her father lay. Her breath caught when Tom pulled the curtain back, though nothing had changed other than clean white bandages. She could never get used to seeing that, and she already knew she would never forget it. Together they sat on either side of her father’s bed.
“Can he… can he hear us?”
“He spoke to me,” she said, though his whispered apology had been almost too faint to count.
Tom bent forward, his face pale. “Jim?”
Slowly, her father opened his eyes. His mouth opened slightly, but nothing came out.
“It’s all right, Jim. I’ll take care of everything.”
Sassy pressed her hand hard against her mouth, needing to hear it all, see it all, feel it all,rememberit all, and if she let herself weep, she knew she would never stop. Her father’s eyes rolled toward her, held her, then returned to Tom.
Tom nodded. “I’ll take care of her, Jim. I promise.”
He died just before seven o’clock, when the rest of the city was coming to life. Sassy sat beside him the entire time, fighting sleep, needing to be with him every second. Tom left and returned a couple of times, bringing her coffee and something to eat, but he never said a word. When the time came and the doctor entered the room, they stood together. Tom wrapped his arms around her as the nurse drew the sheet over her father’s face.
And he held her tight as she convulsed with grief.
The funeral was three days later. As he’d promised, Tom took care of everything. Sassy was vaguely aware of things happening around her, but no more than that.
The night before, Marion had come over to help her pick an outfit. She freaked out that she had nothing black to wear, so Marion went back to her place then quietly returned with all Sassy needed, including a pair of practical black shoes.
After she dressed, Sassy stared into the mirror. She didn’t recognize herself.
Except for the puffy redness around her eyes, the girl in the mirror was very pale. Sassy had a fair, freckly complexion, but this girl was almost grey. She supposed she should put on some makeup, but she couldn’t even bring herself to wear lipstick. She brushed out her hair and pulled it back into a bun, then she looked at herself again. Leaned in closer and stared right into those swollen eyes.
“I can do this,” she whispered to her reflection. She was a performer, after all. She could sing a sad song with a smile on her face, couldn’t she?
Her green eyes looked back, searching. “Can I?”
There was a knock on the bedroom door, then Marion led her downstairs. Tom waited at the curb in his blue Chevette, and he drove them to the church in silence. They sat in the front pew with her, Marion on one side, Tom on the other.
Joey wasn’t there. Maybe he was dead, too. She tried to picture him sitting beside her, but she couldn’t imagine him in a black suit.
A stranger stood at the front of the church to read the eulogy.Jim Rankin was a pillar of society. An inspiration to many. An innovative businessman with a deep love for family. A good friend.
Mr. Moore, leaning heavily on his diminutive wife, said a few words, too.Jim Rankin saved my life. He was a hero. The world has lost a great man.
When Sassy rose at the end of the service, she felt Marion drape her winter coat over her shoulders. They followed the casket out, and she was startled by the number of people sitting or standing in pews behind her. She spotted Betty, her father’s secretary, right away, then she recognized others from business meetings. A few of her former neighbours were there as well. When she spotted her childhood nanny, Minnie, she had cried out without meaning to. So many memories came with that familiar face. Her father and Joey laughing with her.You two kids are peanut butter and jelly.Minnie dissolved at the sound of Sassy’s pain. In the back row, Davey gave her a careful smile, and it was hard not to go to him for the hug she knew would be there.
At the church exit, Sassy stood like a cardboard cutout, observing all the life around her and feeling none of it.
twenty-fourMARION
Sassy didn’t say a word in the limousine as it drove from the cemetery to Isabella Street. She sat pressed against the window, watching freezing rain stream down the glass, watching people and places Marion knew she would not remember. She was very pale. Very still. Grief stole the energy out of the living, and that seemed even more profound when it struck someone like Sassy.
Marion and Tom kept quiet as well, though Marion longed to hear her friend’s voice. Her heart broke every time she looked at Sassy. If only she could talk with her about what she was feeling and how she would survive this. But that time would come, she knew. Marion would be ready when she was needed.
Tom sat on the Cadillac’s jump seat, facing them. He had not moved throughout the service, but he had kept Sassy’s hand in his, whether she noticed it or not. When it was time, he shouldered the coffin and led the pallbearers from the church to the hearse that waited for them in the sleet. As soon as it was loaded, he was back at Sassy’s side with an umbrella. He held her hand securely where it curled through his elbow. The chauffeur held open the back door, and Tom eased her in like she was fine china.
The cemetery was miserable. The freezing rain was relentless, andeveryone shook from the cold beneath their umbrellas. About two dozen people stood at the graveside, which was an impressive crowd for this weather. Marion estimated just as many had chosen to forgo the wet part of the ceremony. Among the mourners, she recognized a couple of politicians from newspaper photos, wearing expensive trench coats over expensive suits. Marion’s gaze drifted over the shivering crowd, and she wondered how many of them really knew Jim Rankin. How many had been friends? Did they know how lonely he was without his son? How he’d avoided his daughter for so long and chosen liquor instead of talking about the truth? Did they realize they could have helped him if they’d tried?
Afterward, Sassy held on to Marion’s hand, so Marion became the receiver of the well-wishes.
“Thank you for coming,” she said over and over, but she did not shake any hands. “Thank you. We appreciate your kind words. Yes, it was very sudden. Thank you. Thank you.”
