“Cool.”
“Do you want to know where the termlunaticcomes from? Hundreds of years ago, it was thought that people behaving abnormally were reacting to the natural changes of the moon, which islunain Latin. Hence ‘lunacy.’ They said those people fluctuated like the moon, waxing and waning.”
“Far out. You’re wicked smart,” Sassy said. “Know what I think? You should try to swim sometime. I mean, you know how to get rid of the fear. You should use it on yourself.”
That stopped her. Marion wasn’t used to intelligent suggestions that used her own words against her. Sassy was right, of course, but the idea scared her too much to consider.
“Maybe. I don’t really like water anymore, though, and I never took any lessons. I’m all right without.”
“That’s a lousy excuse.”
Marion felt her cheeks warm, but it didn’t matter. Sassy couldn’t see it in the dark. “Want more Tic Tacs?”
“Sure. Thanks.”
“It’s my turn to ask a question,” Marion said. “After that last question, I want to know what you’re afraid of now.”
The moment the words were out, she regretted them. Why would she ask a question when she didn’t want to admit the answer?
Sassy exhaled. “Honestly, sitting in the dark in this elevator is top of the list right now. Even with your advice. Other than that, losing Joey’s my biggest fear. He’s uh, well, he’s fighting in Vietnam, and no, I don’t want to talk about that. I just hate not knowing where he is or if he’s safe, and I’m constantly afraid that I’m going to hear bad news someday. Also, I’m afraid of disappointing my dad. He wants me to be this successful businesswoman, but that’s not me. I’m a child of the sun, you know? I belong outside, celebrating Mother Nature and freedom and flowers and sky… Right? Not rotting at a desk.”
“But in life—”
“Being a flower child doesn’t pay the rent. I get it. But that’s where I’m at. Maybe in time. But those two things are kind of like, tied, I guess. I am afraid of losing Joey and disappointing my dad. What about you?”
Marion hesitated, embarrassed. She’d never admitted her greatest fear out loud. But here they sat in the dark, two strangers with completely different stories. And it was her turn to answer. The rule said she had to be honest. She knew the power of conversation, and she hoped she had helped Sassy a little. Maybe speaking her own concern out loud would help her as well.
Lately, Marion’s thoughts kept returning to Paul’s suggestion last night, that she was missing out on life. And that somehow led to thinking about Daniel, a man who had barely survived the worst, but craved more.
She took a moment to get her thoughts in order. She knew it was paradoxical, since her work was all about getting her patients to talk about themselves and their feelings, but Marion never discussed herself that way. The silent elevator, the inability to escape, and the anonymous darkness crowded in on her, reminded her that it was her turn.
What harm could it do?
“I always wanted to be a doctor, and I put everything I had into making that happen,” she said, starting slowly. “But I’m thirty-one. Sometimes I wonder, What else have I done with my life?”
“Probably saved a lot of lives,” Sassy put in helpfully.
“I hope so. But what about my life outside of work? I never used to envy my sister and what I considered to be a predictable life, but recently I’ve wondered. Pat has a husband, kids, and a beautiful house. I have a one-bedroom apartment and a cat.”
“What’s his name?”
“Who, the cat? Chester.”
“Chester. I want to meet him. Sorry. Go on.”
Marion sighed. “I’ve never travelled, I’ve never gotten drunk, I’ve never done a lot of things.”
“You got an old man?” Sassy asked.
Marion scoffed. “We’re not talking about that.”
“But do you?”
“No. I, well…” She stopped. “See, maybe that’s what I’m talking about. I could, but I haven’t made time. I think more about work than the future. Now that I think about it, my biggest fear is missing out.”
“Sounds like we need to set you up.”
An unexpected blush rose, and she recalled the gentleness in Daniel’s scarred face, the trust he openly sought and cautiously gave.
