“Do you know what our slogan is? The U.S. Marine’s slogan?”
She shook her head.
“Semper fidelis.”
“Always faithful,” she translated.
“That’s me,” he told her. “You are my sole responsibility here, Marion. You can count on me. Always.”
thirty-fourSASSY
Three weeks had passed since her father’s funeral, and the world still felt strange. Everywhere Sassy looked, she saw her father. She called out to him a few times, heart racing, only to receive confused glances in return. But still, she saw him walking into a store, his stride so recognizable. She spotted the back of his coat, then his shoes as they passed inside. There he was again, talking with a stranger on the sidewalk, but when he turned, the face belonged to someone else.
The worst was in the office. When Tom told her to take time off, she didn’t listen. “If I don’t work now, I might never do it again. After all, he left me all this money,” she hinted, but it was only partially a joke. To her surprise, work had become a satisfying part of her life. She understood now why her wealthy father had kept working his entire life. Besides that, she loved being near Tom. His energy fed hers.
But sometimes, sitting at her desk, her mind played tricks. The crack of her father’s office door easing open. The sound of his voice at the reception desk, greeting a client. His sly little smile, the one he gave Tom when a deal was almost closed. She saw it all. She missed it all. She clung to it all. She hated the impromptu bouts of misery that overtook her. She might be walking along a sidewalk, thinking of nothing in particular, when the truthwould hit her, and she’d wander into a hidden doorway for privacy, torn apart by grief.
Grief was the opposite of joy, Marion had said. What Sassy needed most was joy, and to her, music was joy. The fundraising concert wasn’t about the money. Financially, she didn’t need anyone’s help anymore. It was about coming together. Trying to find happiness in the saddest of times.
The concert was the next night, so she decided to stop at Chez Monique to see Davey, make sure he didn’t need anything. On her way, she passed a man huddled on a bench, wrapped in a worn overcoat, and she couldn’t help thinking about the first time she had met Daniel. She’d learned something shameful about herself that day. She had judged him unfairly right off the bat. Now that she knew him, she understood he had only been trying to help her step safely off the sidewalk ice. But out of reflex, Sassy had been repelled by the scarred, patched man sitting on the frozen sidewalk. She had assumed the worst. Sure, Big John had turned out to be exactly what she had feared—she was so glad Marion was getting him the care he needed—but Sassy couldn’t forget that she had been entirely wrong about Daniel. He was a warm, intelligent man down on his luck. He was even handsome, despite the disfiguring marks on his face. Not like Tom’s Sean Connery look, but he had the face of a natural, hardworking, outdoors kind of man. Marion had told her he was a fisherman in Nova Scotia before he’d gone to Vietnam. Sassy could picture that easily.
“Everything’s going so well!” Davey exclaimed when she walked into the coffeehouse. “Tickets for tomorrow night are almost sold out. We’ve made nearly four hundred dollars already, and there’s lots more coming at the door. Oh, and the coffeehouse is going to donate half its take as well.”
“Far out!” She gave him a hug. “Know what I remember? That day we met, at the love-in? You said you were going to someday organize a big event, and here you are.”
“So cool that you remember that. I barely remember anything from that day, man. I don’t know what we smoked, but it was awesome.” He grinned,and she inhaled his joy. It was exactly what she needed. “But this concert, man, it’s gonna be twitchin’. The performers are psyched. They think it’s unreal about Joey being MIA, and now that Marion’s gone, they’re super keen to help out.”
“I can’t thank you enough for all this, Davey. Marion’s going to be blown away when she finds out we’ve paid for Daniel’s trip. She was counting pennies at the end.”
“Doing this has been a gas,” he told her. “So many people are supporting you. They love you, and so do I.” He gave her a kiss on the cheek. “You doing okay?”
She stiffened, keeping all the misery at bay. “Please don’t ask me that.”
“Right on.” Quick as a wink, he changed direction. “Have you picked out what you’re playing?”
“It’s a surprise.” She had decided she was going to perform all of Marion’s favourite songs. Sweet songs to make people smile for a change. She handed Davey a box of Smarties, knowing they were his favourite. “What can I do to help?”
“No way, Sass! Thanks.” He opened the box and popped a couple into his mouth. “Nah, there’s nothing for you to worry about, man. It’s all done.”
“Want to come to my place for dinner? I bet you haven’t eaten all day.”
A beat of indecision, then he asked, “What are we having?”
“I don’t know yet. Something with noodles.”
“You have cheese, right?”
It felt good, hanging with Davey after so long. Sorrow was a confusing, exhausting emotion, and she hadn’t yet figured out how to handle it. There were moments when all she wanted was to be alone, but most of the time she found herself craving company. Especially in the evenings, after work was done. Easy company, like Marion, or Tom, or Davey.
Marion had already flown across the world. Marion, the hero neither of them had ever suspected. Gosh, Sassy missed her. She kept wanting to go to her place and tell her about her day, and her absence felt like a wall.
Tom, well, she spent the whole day at the office and sometimes at lunch with him, and even though they had a great time, she didn’t thinkhe’d appreciate being hounded by her every night. Besides, he needed time alone, too.
Davey was just right, with that warm smile and his lion-coloured eyes. She was occasionally tempted to grab him and revert to old times, but the urge wasn’t too strong anymore. More like an echo of what they’d had. Sassy had Tom firmly in her sights now. Her tragedies hadn’t affected her attraction to him. She didn’t want to scare him off, though, in case he wasn’t looking at her the same way. So Davey spent the night, but he slept on her couch, each of them content just to be around the other.
He was gone early the next morning, needing to make sure everything was ready for the concert. She grabbed her guitar then got into a bus and sat by the window, feeling strange. Sassy arrived at the coffeehouse at five thirty, dressed in her best, but wrapped like a gift in a cozy winter coat. Tent dresses were all the rage, so she’d picked up a bright pink one along with a matching pair of pantyhose. Her hair was swept back from the front, and she’d let the rest hang free with a big, happy curl around the bottom. Her makeup was perfect. She was ready.
She was riding a huge wave of adrenaline and was almost euphoric about the night to come. But deep down, all she could think about was Joey. Joey was why Marion was gone. Joey was the reason for tonight. God, she wished he was here.
