“Of course it’s safe to talk about her. Dash is not a dangerous subject, Dot.”
“No?”
As much as she missed Dash, she didn’t want to talk about her sister, but she didn’t want to discuss that fateful night between her and Gus even more.
At the counter, she put a bowl of stew, a roll, and a cup of tea on her tray. Gus did the same, then they went to a quiet corner. He sat across from her, seeming as reluctant as she to start the conversation, even though it had been his idea. She watched him dip his spoon into the steaming hot stew then swallow it right down. Dot pushed her spoon around to cool her meal first.
“I don’t know what to say about her,” Dot began quietly. “I haven’t heard from her in months. She’s still so angry at me about Dad, and she has every right to be.”
“It’s not your fault,” he said through a mouthful.
“I never dreamed I might keep secrets from Dash or anyone else. You know me. I don’t lie.”
He lifted an eyebrow, and she flushed, remembering their conversation on that dark, empty road. She’d said she didn’t care for him in a romantic sense, but he knew better.
“You keep secrets for a living now. Better get used to it,” he said, tearing into his roll. “You said she’s in England?”
“Yes. She’s been flying with the Air Transport Auxiliary since March, I think. I wish I knew more. Gosh, I’d love to know more.” She tried the stew. “I’ve written so many times, but she never answers. The only reason I know that she joined the ATA is from Mom. I won’t be hearing from Dash anymore, I don’t think.”
“You should write to her again.”
She shook her head. “She doesn’t want to hear from me.”
“How do you know? You know, one day this war will end. Then we will all go home to… what? Come on, Dot. She’s your sister. She can be tough, but we both love her for that. Try again. Someday she’ll understand.”
“In forty years maybe, but not until then.”
“Don’t give up. She hasn’t. She loves you too much to just stop.”
“What about you? Why did you stop writing to her?”
“We’re not talking about me.”
“We are now.”
He took a long time inspecting what was left of his roll, then even longer to take a bite and chew. After he swallowed, he said, “I don’t have a good excuse. I’m just more chicken than you. I couldn’t lie to her.”
“But I could?”
“Well, you did, right?”
“So much for solidarity.”
He stared at his empty bowl. “I should have written, but I didn’t have the answers to the questions I knew she’d ask. I chose the easy way and just didn’t say anything. Of course it’s worse now, since it’s both of us lying to her.” He lifted his gaze. “You know it’s never been our fault, right? We didn’t keep secrets from her on purpose. I didn’t know where you were or what you were doing, just like you didn’t know where I was. I never thought about your taking the oath. I guess I should have. You were always way too smart to settle for a desk job.”
She threw his words back at him. “We’re not talking about me.”
“I am, Dot.” He pushed his meal tray to the side. “Let’s talk about the elephant in the room. Let’s talk about you and me.”
“It feels wrong, Gus,” she whispered, her cheeks burning. “Sneaky. Like we’re keeping another secret from her.”
“It’s not about her.”
“Plus, it feels like it’s you and me without her, and that’s not how it should be. We all belong together.”
He hesitated. “Are you so naive that you really believe that? Do you imagine the three of us will live happily ever after as friends? That we’llget old together playing bridge or something? Because I don’t see it winding up that way, Dot. I see it very differently.”
For so many years, she’d envied her sister his attentions. Dash was vivacious and exciting. He was handsome and courageous. Her sister and Gus belonged together. They always had.
