He tilted his head, those ice-blue eyes soft. “I’m awfully glad to hear that. It was pretty special for me, too. I hope you have a lovely voyage.”
They didn’t see him for the rest of the journey, but that was all right. Dash would never forget that evening. She and the others sailed on, enjoying sunny days on the deck and exquisite nights under the stars.
But there were dark moments as well. One cold, dark night, when banks of clouds covered any hope of stars, Dash pinned herself to the rail, paralyzed by concern and awe. In the distance, explosions painted the pitch-black sea and sky with raging flashes of orange. Though she could not hear any screams, Dash knew what she was watching. Everyone was aware of the risks of being on a ship at this time. Even this one, with its legendary size and history, wasn’t truly safe, despite its being part of a largeconvoy. How far away was the battle happening? How far could a torpedo be fired from a U-boat? The opportunity to sink a ship carrying thousands of troops would have been almost irresistible to the Germans, she thought with a shudder. Fortunately, the convoy continued without a loss, but the dread that had held her captive that night never completely went away.
At last they sailed into Portsmouth, England, and Dash joined the others on deck, scrutinizing the approaching port over the water. Halifax was the only harbour she’d ever seen, and it had been blanketed in fog. Here, the harbour was awash in sunshine, with foaming lines of white sparkling off ripples in the sea. Gulls shrieked and dove by the dozens, and Dash gawked beyond them, seeing what war had destroyed. Stark, broken walls along the docks as well as bombed-out buildings beyond provided a clear reminder that there was no peace on this side of the ocean.
Despite everything, Dash wished Dot was here. If nothing had changed between them, her sister would have been pressed against her side, pointing out every detail she saw—a ship here, a crumbled building over there—and Dash would have been caught up in her excitement. Or maybe it would be the other way around, with Dash elbowing her again and again, needing to show her something she’d seen. Either way, she couldn’t help wishing they were together. That’s the way it had always been, and she supposed it always would be. Thinking of that made her feel unsteady, as if there was something left unfinished. Someday the war would end, and when it did, she would go home and deal with what she’d left behind. Maybe the hurt would fade over time. Maybe this experience would help her stand on her own again, possibly even stronger because of Dot’s abandonment. And maybe, she thought, inhaling the salty air, they would all heal over time.
The ship gave a mighty blast, jolting her heart into overdrive, and the docks swarmed with workers preparing for their arrival. She could hear men below and on deck yelling to each other as they saw to their duties, and the activity cheered her. Like them, Dash would soon have a job to do. She was about to become an ATA girl. Before too long, she would roar down a runway then soar into the clouds, doing her part to end the war. She could hardly wait. Up high, in the freedom of the sky, she could leave all her regrets behind.
forty-oneDOT— Camp X —
Morse code. Crossword puzzles. Books and more books. Hot water that could never really be coffee, but felt close enough. Quiet, loving eyes that understood her. Had always understood her, even when no one else did. All this and so much more, suddenly gone. It hadn’t been her fault, but Dot didn’t think she would ever forgive herself for not being with her family during this horrible time. She knew Dash never would.
As she crossed the Camp X grounds toward Hydra, her thoughts were on the short note she had received from her mother following the funeral. She heard her voice through her elegant handwriting, but her tone had felt hollow. In the letter, she reminded Dot of how much her father had loved her, and how proud he was of both of his daughters. She said that he had supported her the entire time, telling everyone around him that Dot must have had a good reason for not being there. She said that he did not want Dot to ever apologize for her absence.
He hadn’t told a soul about their midnight visit. She wasn’t surprised, but it was a relief.
It was also one more secret kept from the people she loved.
She never heard from Dash, but her mother had tried to smooth out what Dot imagined her sister had said.We all need time to accept what has happened. Margaret left this morning for England. She didn’t want to leave me, but you areboth adults now. You have your own lives to lead. Please don’t worry, Dorothy. I am stronger than you think.
Dot found it difficult to reply. Her mind, usually so busy, felt blank. In the end, she wrote something brief about sorrow, love, grief… but she didn’t go into the memories. Those would have to wait until she was stronger. Anything she wrote now would read as empty as she felt.
forty-twoDASH— Southampton, England —
Dash rubbed at the kink in her neck, but the ache didn’t ease. The bus from Portsmouth to Hamble Airfield was slowly skidding along a road somewhere, and now it hit a hole. It happened so frequently, three of the larger male passengers had gotten used to getting up and rocking the bus out of the ruts.
“Just another crater!” the lady bus driver called cheerfully.
Dash wished she wasn’t so tired. She’d had trouble sleeping on the ship, partially because of the unfamiliar movement, but mostly because she had a lot on her mind. And though she had been determined to leave her grief behind, once in a while her father appeared in her memories. She’d had a few good cries, keeping as quiet as she could by snuffling into her pillow, and she wondered how long the terrible sadness would last. It was exhausting on so many levels.
England’s landscape, or what she’d seen of it so far, was shocking. The devastation at the docks continued unabated inland. The Germans must have attacked here a few times to clear out ships in the harbour, then they’d taken out the town behind it. At one point, Dash spotted a charming, undamaged little cottage with cheerful red shutters, and she leaned forward to admire it. As the bus bounced past, her delight evaporated. The other side of the cottage was missing. She could seeright into the front room, where the furniture was covered in rubble.
The bus lumbered out of the crater and back onto the road. After another hour or so, they pulled up outside the main building of Hamble Airfield. By the time they stopped, Dash was already on her feet.
“You’ll want to go into that building, dearie,” the bus driver said, pointing. “That’s where the pilots meet.”
Dash’s heart raced as she stepped inside the smoke-filled room, bag in hand. All conversations stopped, and she blinked nervously at the dozen or so ladies inside.
“Welcome!” one called, then she pointed toward a closed door outside of the room. “Go see Mrs. Farnham in the office there. She’ll sort you out.”
Mrs. Farnham was middle-aged and portly, and her eagerness to help practically bubbled over. She looked up Dash on the lists, welcomed her again, then started setting out papers.
“This is the address where you’ll be living, and this will be your landlady, Mrs. Pemberton. I’ve put you in with Stella Rodgers. You’ll like Stella, I should think. She’s rather… straightforward.” She reached into her pocket and retrieved a package of cigarettes, which she gave to Dash. “Here. You’ll make an excellent first impression if you offer her a cigarette right off the hop.” She handed Dash another page entitled “Training.” “Training to become an ATA pilot is rather detailed, but of course it needs to be. You will have all sorts of interesting lessons over the next three months. After that, you’ll be ready to fly.”
Dash had known about the classes, and even though they would delay her getting in the air, she was looking forward to them. She knew car engines and Hurricanes inside and out, but she’d heard there were more than a hundred different types of planes over here, and she might be flying different kinds. She wanted to be well prepared.
“The rules are posted in the common room, where all the ladies are. That is sort of the clubhouse, if you will.” Mrs. Farnham beamed. “Oh, you’ll make wonderful friends here. I’ll introduce you now, then you can come back here later to pick up your uniform. I’ll get it all laid out for you. Let’s go say hello, shall we?”
This time when Dash walked into the main room, she didn’t raise as many eyebrows. Mrs. Farnham pointed out different women and smiled proudly, clucking like a mother hen over all her chicks. She led Dash to two women sitting in a cloud of smoke, laughing at something, then waited for an opportunity to speak.
“Mrs. Farnham,” one of them said, glancing up. “Who do we have here?”
“Stella, this is Dash Wilson, your new roommate. She’s come all the way from Canada, she has. Dash, this is Stella and Violet. They’re fast friends, aren’t you, dears?”
Getting to their feet, they shook Dash’s hand.
