“Do you have any siblings?”
I shake my head.
“You’re lucky.” She’s too caught up in her rant to notice my double take. “My brother didn’t just hog the spotlight. He used up all the electricity in the house, so the rest of us were left in the dark.”
I don’t think that’s how electricity works, but one thing I’ve learned from acting out so many interrogation scenes is that you never argue with someone when they’re spilling their guts. And I doubt she wants to hear that I used to wish for a sibling to take some of my mom’s focus off me, especially when it was time for Saturday morning chores.
“Everyone thought he was so much fun. The life of the party.” A faint huff escapes her nostrils. I try to imagine sharing Grandma Lainey with someone instead of having her undivided attention and can almost sort of understand. “I suppose he was—in small doses. If you didn’t mind being his personal audience.”
Maybe that’s as charitable as she gets where Claude is concerned. I press the button for the penthouse, because she seems to be waiting for me to do it for her.
“How’s Zenobia?” I ask as the doors close. Here’s hoping Claude’s cat isn’t on her list of enemies.
“She’s very intelligent. And neat.” Her tone is defensive, which makes more sense when she adds, “We were never allowed to have pets, because our mother was allergic.”
I expect her to follow this with a deep psychological revelation, but no; we’re back on the passive-aggressive train.
“That’s one normal thing Claude managed to do with his life. Though I give most of the credit to Zenobia.”
“He bought this building,” I remind her. It’s written all over her face that she’s about to argue whether Castle Claude counts as “normal,” so I hurry on. “Which is how he was able to give you an apartment.”
“An apartment that looks like a whorehouse,” she grumbles. “It’s typical of my brother to find a way to have the last laugh.”
“You think he left you his penthouse as a joke?”
“I wouldn’t put it past him. His sense of humor was almost as warped as his taste.” She grimaces at the elevator, an expression multiplied by the many mirrored surfaces.
Grandma Lainey says this part of the building makes more sense if you were around in the 1980s, but I guess it’s not surprising Claude’s sister isn’t a fan of glitz. Now that she’s ditched the all-black outfit, her personal style seems to trend more toward drab neutrals. But my grandmother and Mrs. A are tight despite their radically different wardrobes, so the fact that Bernie dresses like warm breakfast cereal isn’t necessarily the kiss of death.
“You might like it here,” I venture, attempting to take the high road. “If you give it a chance. Especially since you have to stay a while anyway.”
Her eyes narrow. “Who told you that?”
“Told me what?”
“About Claude’s ridiculous conditions. As if that doesn’t say everything you need to know about my brother’s generosity.” If her hands weren’t full, she probably would have madeair quotes around the last word. “It was the lawyer, wasn’t it? I never should have trusted him. He’s obviously ontheirside.”
“Um,” I mumble, caught off guard. The sinking feeling in my gut says my poker face isn’t cutting it. To my relief, she doesn’t push the point.
“I’ll thank you to keep your nose out of my affairs. Feel free to pass that on.”
I nod uncertainly, not relishing the prospect of that conversation. Especially since I’ll have to kick it off by admitting I blabbed something I shouldn’t have.
“Which one do you belong to?” she asks so suddenly I flinch.
“Lainey—I mean, Elaine. With the short hair.”And the fabulous clothes, I silently add.Not to mention the biting wit and general badassery.If I expected her to be impressed, the anticlimax is real.
“Well, then I guess you know all about growing up with a narcissist in the family.”
As if she’s choreographed it that way, the doors slide open. Claude’s sister swishes past without a goodbye.
By the time the elevator starts down to my grandmother’s floor, I’ve reshuffled my Most Likely to Spoil the Summer list:
3. Felix (annoying but probably harmless)
2. Bradley (gross yet avoidable)
1. Claude’s sister Bernie (straight-up poisonous)
