“Oh.” She rocked back on her heels, worrying her bottom lip. “Why?”
Because I’m an idiot.But not enough of one to dump the whole thing on her before he’d thought it through himself.Now that we’ve kissed, how would you like to turn your life upside to be with me, somewhere, somehow?
“Sorry,” she said, when he didn’t answer right away. “I shouldn’t have asked. You don’t owe me an explanation.”
He took hold of her hand. “I don’t want to do this the wrong way. While you’re married to someone else.”
“But—”
“I know it’s not a real relationship, but I don’t want to pretend with you, and it feels like there’s something in the way. A barrier. Maybe I’m imagining it?” He looked at her hopefully, waiting for a denial.
She kept her head down, making a noise that sounded likemmmm-hmmmnnn.That seemed to be her full statement on the subject.
“It hasn’t worked out too well for me in the past, letting the physical relationship come first. You end up sweeping stuff under the rug. And the thing of it is…” Jefferson hesitated, gripping the edge of the cliff with his toes. “It feels like this could be a good thing. And I don’t want to screw up something important.”
He waited for her to offer a response, preferably along the lines of,It’s not just you, I feel it, too.“Does that make any sense at all?” Jefferson asked, when he couldn’t take it any longer.
“I can’t believe you just… said all that. Out loud. With words.”
“Too much?”
“Oh no. Keep it coming.”
Some of the tightness constricting his lungs eased. “I want to know you, Libby. And I want you to know me. Before we cross that line—”
“In the sand.”
“Or wherever. Maybe I am an old man at heart. This is probably not the sexiest conversation you’ve ever had.”
“No, I’m pretty sure it is, actually.” She broke off, laughing under her breath. “You talked to me about your feelings. Voluntarily. Youthoughtabout emotional stuff. Like an adult. You thought aboutme.I’m basically a puddle right now. You could scoop me out of the sand. Like… a giant litter box.” Her eyes squeezed shut. “Speaking of sexy.”
He wanted to kiss her again. Not because she’d compared herself to cat pee, though that was part of it. The odd mixed in with the funny and vulnerable.
“This is where we met,” he said, glancing at the silver-crested waves.
She nodded.
“But we’re not in the same place.”
“No.”
“I don’t mean geographically.” Jefferson was miles ahead of where he’d been that day, although part of him had already been falling for her—a gradual lean that picked up speed the closer he got.
Her grin was a lasso around his heart. “I figured. And also it’s night.” She pushed her hair back from her face, like she wasn’t sure what to do with her hands. “Do you want to stay and see the sunrise?”
“Yes.” He knelt to smooth the sand before spreading out the towel he still carried. “Come here.”
She settled herself beside him, hip to hip, her head resting on his shoulder.
If he had a seashell, he’d make another wish:Let this be the first of many sunrises we watch together.
Chapter 25
lovelillibetDon’t let dark thoughts scare you away from trying something new. So many people told me that baking a soufflé was hard, and I made the mistake of letting their negativity take up space in my head. Well, guess what? My first try came out perfectly. Light as a cloud, with a heart of molten perfection.
The only thing I regret is letting doubters hold me back.
Love, Lillibet
