“And there it is,” Hildy muttered. “Always comes back to the money.” She flounced to the nearest armchair, looking up at her uncle with a mulish expression. “Number one, I’m a competent adult, not a chump. And two, Lillibet isn’t a cult leader. She’s a hugely positive influencer.”
“Yes, I’ve seen her picture.” Uncle Richard waved a dismissive hand at the portrait of Lillibet, which had acquired a toga-like drapery of what appeared to be bedsheets. “Where is the legendary Lillibet?”
“I would also like to know,” Mr. L chimed in. “What happened to my spouse?Lillibet,” he tacked on, in case there was any doubt who he was talking about.
“Sheunderstands that I need room to operate,” Hildy told her uncle. “It’s so refreshing to deal with someone who respects my autonomy.”
“Had I known the Iceman was with you—”
“It’s Jefferson.” His correction was drowned out by Hildy’s snort.
“Right, because a Y chromosome makes everything so much better.”
“I’m merely saying that it’s nice to see a steadying presence in my niece’s life.”
“In the sense that he kept me from falling off a mountain to an icy death? And getting eaten by bears? While vultures plucked out my frozen eyeballs?” She paused to let this image (however unlikely) sink in. “Or do you have another reason for being glad I didn’t bite it?”
“I’m sure I don’t know what you mean.” Her uncle’s fiddling with his glasses suggested otherwise.
“Why did you really crash my vacation? Be honest. It’s about the story, isn’t it? You haven’t seen engagement like this since we broke the news about the astronaut love triangle. Or the orphaned hippo bonding with the three-legged dog.”
“Hildy, you’re my niece.”
“That didn’t stop you from going full Missing White Girl.” She held up a hand to silence his protest. “I would have done the same. A good leader maximizes every opportunity. Hence why I’ve been providing Johnson Media with a steady stream of A-plus-plus content.”
“Which has tapered off dramatically since your disappearance. The more recent one,” he clarified.
“And I bet you think we should keep cranking it out, withoutany strategy or sense of pace, until everyone gets bored and moves on? Or, worse, there’s a backlash and we burn through all our viral capital in a matter of hours?”
“What you have to understand, Hildy, is that these things have a built-in expiration date. It’s the nature of the beast.” It was the indulgent tone of a grown-up explaining basic facts to a child. Not an approach Jefferson would have recommended, but Uncle Richard hadn’t asked for his advice.
“Yeah, because you follow the same tired playbook every time. Have you ever heard a pop song that’s nothing but chorus for three minutes? No! And you know why not? Because it would be annoying. That’s why there are lulls. A quiet moment to catch your breath. Which you would know if you weren’t stuck in the stone age of hype.”
Uncle Richard puffed out his chest. There was only so much criticism a man like him could take, in Jefferson’s experience. It reminded him of the photo safaris he’d helped run when he first moved to Jackson, for corporate types who wanted to spend a weekend stalking wildlife with their fancy cameras. They were all jovial male-bonding in their immaculate Patagonia gear until someone served the wrong mineral water at lunch, or there weren’t enough paleo options at breakfast. That was when the real my-way-or-the-highway personality peeked through.
“The public has a vested interest in your story,” Uncle Richard said, stiff with dignity.
“Do you honestly think I wasn’t going to leak a beach shot tomorrow?” Hildy fired back. “The perfect scenic thirst trap?”
Jefferson thought, unhappily, of his Aquaman rash guard before remembering that he would almost certainly be the one taking the picture. Still, the whole discussion left him with the clammy feeling of squeezing into a damp bathing suit. It was such a clinical way to approach a relationship: as a product to be manufactured and sold. He thought of Lillibet confessing—as if it were an embarrassing secret—that she wanted to write “stories about people.”Thathe could understand. Then again, Jefferson’s job could be summed up as “taking pictures of animals,” so maybe he was too simpleminded to appreciate the business decisions that happened this far up the chain.
Hildy kicked her legs up, heels thudding against the floor. “I’m busting my butt to play this situation like a maestroandsave you from your own terrible instincts, and where’s the respect? The acknowledgment?”
“There’s no need to get emotional. I know you’re a hard worker.” Uncle Richard smiled like he was thinking about patting her on the head, a misread so extreme Jefferson was beginning to understand why the other man’s marriages were short-lived. “You’re probably still recovering from your ordeal. Why don’t you come home and have a nice rest? We can redecorate your bedroom!”
Hildy dramatically widened her eyes. “Really? With a canopy bed? Can I have some glitter stickers, too?”
“I don’t see why not,” Uncle Richard began.
“Are you kidding me right now?” Hildy yelled, jumping to her feet. “I don’t believe this.”
She ran out of the room, leaving behind a silence punctuated by the pounding of her feet on the stairs.
“Maybe you should talk to her,” Uncle Richard suggested, looking hopefully at Jefferson.
Mr. L nodded. “You could suggest a bubble bath. My new glass soaking tub is like a trifle dish for humans. Minus the pedestal, for reasons of structural integrity.”
Privately, Jefferson thought they were both nuts. Hildy obviously needed time alone, and who wanted to roll around in a giant serving dish? But he was glad of the excuse to leave the room, so he kept those thoughts to himself.
