Yawning, she headed toward her room, patting him on the cheek in passing. “Being a lone wolf may be fun for now, but eventually you’re going to want someone beside you, scarfing down raw antelope in your little dirt den. Think about that.”
Hildy paused in the doorway. “And for future reference, the wet shirt thing is probably not your best play. Ryan Gosling set that bar pretty high. What women really want is someone who will sensually shampoo their hair.” She made scrunching motions next to her head before tossing him a towel.
Chapter 11
lovelillibetDo you ever think about how something as simple as a bubble can have so many different meanings? In a glass of champagne, it’s effervescence and joy. If we’re talking about the blue bubble of a Portuguese man o’ war drifting on the surface of the ocean, it’s time to swim the other way unless you want to get stung. That’s why when some people refer to me as a content creator, I tell them I’m a context creator. Because no woman is an island.
Love, Lillibet
Image: A tiny blue-tinged man o’ war with trailing tentacles draped across the sand, waiting for an unwary beach walker.
#watchyourstep #tinybubbles #contextisqueen #veuveclicquot
I’ll take insulting marriage proposals for a thousand,Libby thought.Or no, twenty thousand.
“You want to pay me to…?”
“Marry me,” he filled in the blank.
Because that made everything crystal clear. “Meaning what, exactly?”
It looked like he was going to repeat himself a third time, in case Libby really was that slow, until his eyes widened in understanding.
“Not sexual congress.” His expression was mildly repulsed, asif Libby were the one who’d propositioned him. “I’m married to my work. We make each other very happy.”
He smiled at Libby with a smugness she struggled to interpret. Did he want her to congratulate him or stew in the knowledge that she could never compare to his faucet empire?
“Also I need a green card.”
Ha! Guess your weird shower can’t help you with that.Libby gave herself a mental shake. She was not in competition with bathroom fixtures. At least now she knew why he’d agreed to play along. Except for one thing.
“Why me?” As opposed to any of the less pathetic candidates he might have chosen. Someone who’d made it through college without running out of money, for example.
“I am a man who recognizes an opportunity. A gap in the market, let us say. A space for growth.” He cupped his palm, holding it out to Libby. Was she the blank space in this equation? “When you bring together timing, inspiration, and potential, innovation happens.”
“I don’t really understand corporate jargon.” As opposed to personal wellness BS.
“You are available and—with a few cosmetic refinements—will look the part. Blond is a desirable color.”
It was also available from a box in every drugstore. Which didn’t stop people from making snap judgments based on Libby’s appearance. That had been part of Jean’s argument for startingLove, Lillibet: thumbing their noses at everyone who looked at Libby and saw long blondish hair and a tan and assumed she was Beach Barbie.
“I considered the other one. It’s true she is neater in her proportions, but also”—his nose wrinkled as he searched for the right adjective—“unpredictable.You know the Irish.” He mimed raising a bottle to his lips. “So you see, you are perfect for my purposes. No family, low social standing, physically attractive. The total package.”
It was eerily reminiscent of a serial killer’s checklist.
“Perhaps I will be inspired to name a fixture in your honor.” He looked her over like a fish at the market. “French gold, I think. Brushed finish or brilliant? What do you say?”
“Um, both sound nice?” She assumed he wasn’t talking about real gold. A tooth was one thing, but a showerhead? That was some Marie Antoinette business.
“You misunderstand me. I don’t require anyone’s opinion about my creations.”
“Oh.” Libby stopped herself on the verge of apologizing. What else could he have been asking?Ohhh.“You were talking about… the other thing.”
“Our marriage,” he confirmed, as if she’d correctly solved a basic math equation.One plus one equals green card.
“That’s, you know, a big decision.”
“How so?” The faintest hint of testiness had crept into his voice. “The advantage is almost entirely on your side.”
