“That’s not all. We also have—our health,” he said, a little desperately.
Not even Keoki could find a silver lining. The air was still tight with tension. Libby felt it in her scalp, and her chest, and clenched fists. Her fight with Jean wasn’t over. It was like a pimple you mess with, knowing you’re only going to make it worse. Next time it would be a red, angry volcano.
The rest of the drive passed in silence. The three of them were right back where they’d started, with nothing to show for what they’d risked. Unless you counted a scraped and battered heart, a reputation for lying, and a truckload of regrets.
Chapter 27
lovelillibetIf you’re going to fight, make sure you fight well. Choose your words with care and compassion. Pause to reflect before you respond. Drink plenty of water. There’s a world of difference between what I like to call an Aware Argument and losing control.
Love, Lillibet
Image: A hand-blown glass tumbler, half full of water, refracting sunlight.
#thinkbeforeyousink #godeep #growtoglow
If Libby had needed a reminder of how far she’d fallen, walking into their apartment would have done the trick. Spending a few days in the lap of luxury made their digs look even sadder, which was no small feat. The sagging secondhand couch, the cracked linoleum, the flickering fluorescent bar on the kitchen ceiling, the faint aroma of microwave ramen: It was a study in how not to flourish. Hashtag losing.
“Did this place get dirtier while we were gone?” Jean brushed off the counter before setting down her bag.
Libby recognized this as an invitation:Let’s talk about a thing we agree on—our shitty apartment—so we can be on the same team.She could say something like,I don’t see how that’s possible.Then Jean would propose they treat themselves to a movie night and a pile of junk food to help forget their troubles. Tomorrowthey’d wake up in their lumpy old beds, right back in their lumpy old lives, and everything would return to normal, as if they’d hallucinated the entire Lillibet experience.
But Libby didn’t want to forget. And while Lillibet may have been a figment of their imaginations, the thought of letting the last few days fade into oblivion made her want to collapse on the stained carpet and howl. She was going to hold on, clutching the memory of everything she almost had like a ragged teddy bear.
Libby let the silence grow, watching Jean check the refrigerator and cupboards in case the grocery fairy had swung by during their absence.
“There’s nothing.” Libby let the heaviness of her tone convey the double meaning. No snacks, no job, no love. When that didn’t get a response, she added a sigh.
“Just say it.” Jean still had her back to Libby, peering into the empty cabinet as if she could see through to the other side. “Whatever you’re stewing about, might as well get it off your chest so we can move on.”
She sounded frustrated, like Libby was the immature one, pitching a fit for no reason.
“Is it really that hard to guess why I might be upset right now?”
Jean spun around, leaning against the counter with her arms crossed. “So we struck out. Shit happens. Don’t do the crime if you can’t do the time.”
“That’s it? I’mcrushed,Jean.”
“There are other jobs. We’ll find a way.”
Libby couldn’t believe what she was hearing. “You think that’s the only thing I care about?”
“It should be. It was a killer opportunity.”
“Hey, thanks for the reminder! That’s exactly what I need to hear right now. Like I could forget we’re back to square zero.” Shethrew herself onto the couch, covering her eyes with both hands. “Did you not even notice how much I liked him?”
“Uh, I’m pretty sure everybody noticed.”
“What?”
“What do you want me to say, Libby?Congrats on having the hots for someone? Your timing could have been better.”
“It was more than that.”
“Oh come on. You knew him for, what, three days? Give me a break.”
“What is with you right now? Did I ask for the tough-love special? Hey, bestie, think you could kick me while I’m down?”
Jean looked at the ceiling. “You’re trying to make me the bad guy. I’m sick of it.”
