“Look. Let me ask you a question, and I don’t want you to answer. This is just something to think about. Okay?” Todd nodded. “Do you love me?”
It was a simple four-word question, and yet Todd had never been asked a question more difficult. He felt like it was quicksand all around him, and if he moved or said anything, it would swallow him up. Todd swallowed hard, opened his mouth, and then closed it again.
“It’s okay. Don’t say anything. It’s that simple. We just met again. Sure, we have a past, but that’s all it is. What’s important is the here and now. We need to figure things out, and we will. And that question will get easier to answer with time.” He placedhis hand on Todd’s cheek. “I need to go to bed, and I think you should do the same.”
Todd sniffed a little, blinking his eyes. “Do you want me and Kenny to leave?”
Jamie shook his head. “I want you to give yourself a break, take a breath, and maybe a little time. Things will work themselves out, and there’s no need to rush. I’m not going anywhere, and I’m not out on Saturday nights trolling for guys to bring home.” He rolled his eyes. “I never did that, by the way.” Jamie pulled his hand away and locked his computer. He then turned off the lights while Todd stood still. “Go on to bed. We both have a big day tomorrow. You have your first interview, and I have rearranged some of my office hours, so I’ll be able to take you.” He smiled. “Everything is going to be good. We just need to give it a little time.”
Todd hoped Jamie was right as he turned and went to the room he shared with Kenny. Jamie called Cindy quietly, and she jumped down from the bed, following him, before Todd closed the door.
Kenny wasusually a restless sleeper, but it seemed as though it was Todd’s turn. While his son seemed perfectly calm, curled up with his penguin, Todd kept rolling over and eventually worried that he was going to disturb Kenny, so he got up and went to the sofa with a blanket. Cindy wandered out to see what was going on, jumped onto the sofa, and made herself comfortable next to his legs. The dog always seemed to know when one of them was feeling off, and she was there for comfort.
Todd eventually fell asleep but had dreams about Jamie that included him being pushed away and left alone. More than once, he sat up, breathing hard, only to be relieved that what hadscared him was only a dream. Cindy stared at him both times and then lowered her head as he settled back onto the cushions.
“What happened last night?” Jamie asked when Todd shifted, light coming in through all the windows. He rubbed his eyes and pushed back the blankets before getting up.
“I had a rough night.”
“Anything in particular?” Jamie asked, and Todd growled and drew closer.
“Not really. It’s just that I kept dreaming about a certain person all night. I couldn’t stop thinking about him, and it got my head all turned around.” He slid nearer, and Jamie put his hand lightly on his chest.
“I’m sorry about that. I tossed and turned a lot myself. But I don’t think there’s anything we can do about it at the moment.” Jamie’s gaze raked down him. “You should probably get some clothes on or else I’m going to need to leave for work right away.”
Todd grinned. “Is all this too much for you?”
“In your dreams… oh wait, maybe allthisis what’s too much foryou. After all, I was the one keeping you tossing and turning.” He winked and then walked into the kitchen.
Todd groaned and quietly went to his room, where he grabbed fresh clothes and went to the bathroom to clean up and dress so he wouldn’t wake Kenny. Once dressed, he went to the kitchen to find Jamie.
“Your appointment is at two. I’ll be here at one-thirty to pick you and Kenny up. Then while you’re having your interview, he and I can look around the candy shop and maybe get a snack. Just message me when you’re done, and we’ll swing by and get you.”
He knew it was all that easy and that all he needed to do was answer their questions honestly, but he was so nervous. This was a major step in him putting his life back together, and he didn’twant to fail or disappoint Jamie or Kenny, as well as himself. “I don’t know if I’m good at this sort of thing or not.”
“No one is. Just relax, be honest, and thing will work out.” He grabbed his bag and kissed him quickly before leaving the house.
“Where are we going, Daddy?” Kenny asked that afternoon once they had had lunch and he was trying to get them ready to go.
“I’m going to a job interview, and you are going to stay with Jamie while I’m there. This is so I can get a job.”
“But what if the mean man comes?” Kenny asked. He tended to do that whenever they left the house. As long as they stayed inside, he seemed to be fine, but going outside was cause for worry.
“Jamie will protect you. He knows what he looks like, and he’ll keep you safe, just like I do.” Todd hated this level of anxiety in his son. Kenny shouldn’t have to worry about people coming up to him or being hurt all the time. It just wasn’t fair for a five-year-old. “I promise. Okay?” Kenny nodded but had grown quiet. “Please, just get your shoes on. Jamie will be here soon.”
Kenny sat down and put on his shoes in slow motion. “I don’t want to go.”
Todd looked at the clock. “I don’t have time for this right now. Just put your shoes on. Maybe Jamie will take you to get something to eat if you ask him nice. Okay?” He would do just about anything just to get his son to move.
Finally, Kenny was ready, and Jamie pulled up out front. He took Kenny’s hand, got the extra key, locked the door, and headed out to the car. Once Kenny was in booster seat, he climbed in and Jamie headed west out of town.
“I’m sorry I’m late. I had a student who needed my help, and I couldn’t get away. I checked ahead and the freeway is backedup, so we’re going to take Walnut Bottom Road.” He drove, and Todd sat nervously in the front seat, hoping they weren’t going to be late.
They had sent him details of where he was supposed to go, and he directed Jamie around a few minutes before he was expected. “You be good for Jamie,” he told Kenny, giving him a quick hug before hurrying to the entrance. At the door, he waved before going inside and following the signs to the talent acquisition department, all the while trying to keep his nerves in check.
Todd hadbeen through a wringer by the time he was done, or at least that was how he felt. “Thank you for everything,” he said as he left the office and returned to the front, where Jamie and Kenny were waiting for him.
“How did it go?” Jamie asked once they were on their way.
