He didn’t realize he’d reached for his coin until his fingers touched nothing but an empty pocket.The realization that it was empty nearly rocked him back all over again.
Matthew gave himself a shake as he reached the top of the stairs.It was just one night.He could get through one night without his coin.He had lived for years without it before.
And made so many of the wrong decisions.
His shoulders tensed as his father’s voice echoed in his ears.
“Where is your common sense, boy?This is not that difficult!Just choose!”
But somehow it was always the wrong choice.
Pausing before the stairs and the crowd at the bottom of it came into view, Matthew leaned against the wall for a long moment, trying to draw a deep breath despite the constricting band that had wrapped around his chest.Reaching into a different pocket, he pulled out his handkerchief and used it to dab at the moisture that had gathered at his hairline.
“Where is that boy?”Grandmama’s tones were growing impatient.In a few moments, she’d likely come looking for him herself.
“I am sure he will be down shortly,” Johanna replied soothingly.Though her tone was meant for his grandmother, not for him, he found himself being soothed, anyway.His breathing became a little more even, his head less dizzy.
Tonight was her big night.Her entrance to theton.Her presentation as his duchess.
He could do this.
Hewoulddo this.
For his wife.
Johanna
Matthew appeared at the top of the stairs, and Johanna breathed a sigh of relief as Lady Stark relaxed.If Johanna did not know better, she would think that Lady Stark was nervous as well.
Perhaps she was.
None of which helped her nerves.
Thankfully, she had Rose by her side, steady as always, although not entirely pleased about going to a ball.She’d already declared that she would be there as Johanna’s companion andnotas an eligibleparti.But she looked stunning in a deep-burgundy gown trimmed with ivory lace and gold ribbon, which nicely complemented Johanna’s light plum and silver gown with its frothy layers of white lace at the neckline and sleeves.
Now that she could see Matthew, Johanna realized that his cravat matched her gown.A little detail she was certain she could attribute to Lady Stark’s keen eye for detail.She and Matthew looked like they belonged together, and Rose would complement them perfectly.Johanna looked over at Lady Stark, who was wearing a silver dress with a deep plum trim that matched Matthew’s waistcoat, and her lips twitched.
The older woman thought of everything.
Something that Johanna hoped to emulate in the future.
If it was possible to.
Ruthlessly, Johanna thrust away the thoughts of her mother and their predicament.She could not allow those to cloud her mind tonight.She had to get through this evening and then… she did not know what she was going to do.But she knew the first step was focusing on this evening and acquitting herself well as Matthew’s duchess.
Matthew came down the stairs, looking a bit… odd.His usual grin was absent from his lips, his jaw was clenched, and he appeared out of sorts.Johanna’s stomach did an odd swooping thing.He had not stopped to check in on her mother, had he?
“I am here,” he said to his grandmama, holding out his arm to Johanna.If he had spoken with her mother and was upset, he did not seem angry, at least.What else could make him so off-kilter?
Warily, Johanna took his arm, but he was looking at his grandmother, not at her.Because he was too upset to look at Johanna?Or because he was worried his grandmother was upset with him?
“Then it is time that we go,” Lady Stark said with an imperious sweeping motion of her hand.
Johanna’s stomach turned over for an entirely different reason.
She was almost accustomed to living with the guilt of keeping such important information from everyone around her.But tonight, she had to be a duchess.In front of the entireton.
And that was something she was not accustomed to at all.
