One night.
She’d be ruined.She would never be able to marry, not within Society.
But it did not matter.It was hardly as though she could find a husband even before this.The Blackstone house party had been an unexpected chance, and she’d dashed that opportunity by rushing off to attend her mother’s illness.She should have sent Rose home alone and stayed to try to snag a husband, but…
She’d been so afraid her mother was dying, while she was sleeping in a comfortable bed and eating delicious foods, the likes of which her family had not tasted in months.If she’d known then what she knew now… but she had not, and the choice had already been made.
Now, she was making a different choice.
If it saved her family, it would be worth it.
“It’s time,” Mr.O’Connell said, rubbing his hands together.If he’d been listening to Johanna and Mr.Blash’s conversation, it did not show in his demeanor.He gestured to the woman beside him.“Come on, Penny.”
He did not even look at Johanna as he strode out onto the stage.The other woman, who had been standing quietly with them, followed him mutely, giving Johanna a blank look before she did so.It was as if there was no life, no hope, left in her.Neither of which helped Johanna’s nerves.
Closing her eyes, she gulped again, wishing she were anywhere but here.
Like at mother’s bedside, watching her die?
No.
There were worse things than here.
She could do this.
“Good evening!”Mr.O’Connell greeted the audience.“Who is ready for our special auction this evening?A real, live virgin!”
The sound of cheers and jeers made Johanna’s blood run cold, and she might have actually run despite everything, if not for Mr.Blash’s hand gripping her shoulder, his fingers now digging in as if he knew she was thinking about it.
“She’s a sweet one, alright.”Mr.O’Connell chuckled.“A real lovelylady, if you get my meaning.The likes that we have not seen since the Tramp claimed his lady.”
Johanna did not know what that meant, but the crowd must have understood because the men grew even louder.Her stomach turned over, and she thought she might spew.Thanks to Mr.Blash, there was actually something in there for her to vomit.
The remind of how recently she’d eaten steadied her.
She was doing this for her mother.For Rose.For Micah, Bridget, and Charlotte.So that they could have something in their stomachs, too.
“Come on out, sweetheart, let them get a look at you,” Mr.O’Connell said.
Penny moved toward the side of the stage again, her expression dull as she reached out her hand to Johanna.Her heart was in her throat as she took the first step, then Mr.Blash’s hand propelled her forward.He let go of her right before she reached Penny.
But she did not take the other woman’s hand.She could not.Her hands were too tightly clenched at her own sides.Penny did not seem to care, her hand dropping back down as she stepped behind Johanna, as if guarding her from running away.
Head down, Johanna forced herself to the center of the stage.One step at a time, repeating the reasons she was doing this with each step.
For mother.
For Micah.
For Rose.
For Bridget.
For Charlotte.
The roaring of the men who were looking at her was even louder than the buzzing in her ears.When she reached Mr.O’Connell’s side, she forced herself to look up at the crowd.The brightened area of the stage and the dimness of the rest of the room made it difficult to see very far, but those closest to the stage were visible.
Big men.Shouting.Jeering.Laughing.Staring at her with such expressions on their faces that she felt utterly faint, like she might fall over right then and there.
