Of course, it would be a difficult road, even for a duke, to push Society to accept an illegitimate wife.On the other hand, Rose certainly had many connections that would assist in establishing her.Christian tended to take the easy road, though.Perhaps, despite his obvious attraction to Rose, he thought the path too difficult.
Scanning the crowd, Matthew felt a spot between his shoulder blades itch.He turned and looked up.Sebastian had been hiding on the balcony last time… tonight, apparently, it was Zachary’s turn.
His fingers brushed over his empty pocket.
It still happened once or twice a day.
Should he go speak with Zachary?
They had not talked since the day Zachary had stalked out of Clarence House.He’d been at the Manchester Ball with his fiancée, but he’d avoided all his friends while there and remained glued to Lady Annabelle’s side with a blank expression on his face.
Matthew wanted to know what Zachary was going to do.Therefore, he needed to go speak with Zachary.Sitting back and waiting to find out did not suit him.
Sighing, Matthew made his way up to the balcony.
Zachary was there, Monkey Sinclair perched on his shoulder.His hand stroked over the monkey’s back, from the tiny creature’s head to the tip of his tail, as he stared down at the ballroom below them.The monkey saw Matthew coming and chittered, drawing Zachary’s attention away from his observation.
He turned his head.Saw Matthew.Sighed.Returned to his study of the ballroom.
Matthew walked up to stand beside him, looking down at the pretty swirling patterns the dancers made on the floor.Bright clumps of ladies’ dresses dotted the edges of the room, interspersed with the gentlemen’s more sober clothing.Well, other than a few of the dandies, who were just as brightly and dramatically attired as some of the ladies.
They stood there in silence for a long moment.
“No Lady Annabelle this evening?”Matthew asked.He tried to track where Zachary was looking, assuming that he would see Delilah… but she was nowhere in sight.The canary-yellow gown she’d donned for the rout was very easy to spot.
Instead, it appeared that Zachary was focused on the group of ladies around Matthew’s mother-in-law.
Damn.
“She is coming from a supper party at the Hoods.”Zachary dropped his hand away from Monkey Sinclair, bracing both of them on the balcony just as Matthew was.“It was Johanna’s mother, wasn’t it?”
Though it was phrased as a question, it was a statement.
This time, Matthew did not reach for his coin, but he felt the impulse to.He did not know what to say.Zachary seemed sad, not angry, but that could turn on a dime.He’d seen it.Yet at the same time, he did want to mend the friendship.Zachary was hurting, perhaps the most out of all of them.
“My mother is not here tonight,” Zachary said quietly, still watching Johanna’s mother.“She is unwell.”There was something about the way he said it that made the word ‘unwell’ sound very weighty.As if he was trying to say something altogether different.
“She is sick?”
“She is unwell,” Zachary repeated.Sighed.“Some days are better than others.Today was… very bad.”His voice was soft.Low.The words even and without any emotion.As though if he showed even the smallest hint of feeling, it would break him wide open.“I am doing everything I can to keep my own mother alive.I have given up Delilah.I am marrying Lady Annabelle.I have sacrificed everything I wanted to hold on to the one parent I have left.I will not take anyone else’s mother from them.You and Johanna, her mother, have nothing to fear from me.”
Matthew’s chest ached in sympathy.He could not remember his mother.Was it better that way, or would it be worse to know his mother and love her and have her in such a state that he had to upend his own life for the sake of her happiness?Because she so greatly desired to follow his father into death that she might take matters into her own hands?
He could not imagine what Zachary was going through.
Reaching out his hand, he put it on Zachary’s back, just below where Monkey Sinclair sat on his shoulder.The monkey cocked its head at Matthew and chittered again.Maybe it was his imagination, but even its chitter sounded sad.He wondered if perhaps naming the monkey after Sinclair—Zachary’s closest friend among the dukes whose unexpected and tragic death had spurred them to quicken their haste to find brides—had backfired on Zachary.Being the duke meant that he had a daily reminder that his father was gone—had the monkey become a daily reminder of the other great loss in Zachary’s life?
“We are all doing the best we can,” he said softly.“If there is anything I can do for you…”
“Flip your coin to know if I have made the right decision or made a right mess?”Zachary managed the curve up one side of his mouth in the facsimile of a small smile.“Although I know you claim it does not work for others, it did predict Nathanial and Kalina.”
“I have lost it.”
“Lost it?”Zachary’s almost-smile dropped, and he studied Matthew for a long moment.There was sympathy in his dark eyes.“I am sorry to hear that.”
“Thank you.”Matthew looked out over the ballroom.“I seem to be managing well enough now.I make a choice.I live with the consequences.Just like the rest of you mere mortals.”
That actually managed to get a chuckle out of Zachary, which eased some of the tension in Matthew.He hated to see his friend so distressed.
