“Before or after breakfast, do you think?”he asked.Not because he wanted to burden Johanna with the decision, but because she knew her mother best, and it seemed wise to be guided by her on such a matter.
“After.”She sighed and pressed her forehead against his chest.“For my own sake, if not hers.I am not prepared at the moment.”
Which made sense.She had just woken up, and, unlike him, she had slept soundly through the night.Giving her another sound kiss, Matthew reluctantly abandoned the warmth of her bed and returned to his room.
He glanced at the armoire as he rang for Reedy.
The reality of having to live without his coin was starting to hit home.Not in the panicked manner it had struck him the night before, when he’d still thought he would get it back, but a kind of cold, creeping dread that he was barely able to keep at bay.
Sebastian’s voice in his head helped to bolster him somewhat.
You’ll deal with the consequences, like the rest of us mere mortals.
Other people did this every single day.
He could do it, too.
Getting dressed was easy.Reedy usually chose Matthew’s outfits for him, anyway.So not much had changed about getting ready for the day.Obviously, once he was done getting dressed, it was time to go to the dining room.
Matthew had always thought that he flipped his coin for everything, but now he was realizing how many small decisions he made without flipping it.Because, of course, he did nothaveto go to break his fast.But it was what he did, every morning, without flipping his coin to see if he should.
Of course, now that he was married, and he knew Johanna was getting ready for the day, there was the question of whether he should wait for her.But that was an easy decision, too.Last night, Johanna had asked him what he wanted to do, then they did that.
Right now, he wanted to wait for his wife, so they could walk to the dining room together.Easy.
And he could acknowledge that in the past, he might have flipped his coin to make such a decision.Now, he just did it.Because what would the consequences be of not doing so?
He could arrive in the dining room alone, or he could have company along the way.Besides, he did not want Johanna to feel as though he’d left and walked on without her or that he did not want her company.
It was a bit odd, having to think through what might happen depending on what choice he made, when he’d stopped considering such things before.He’d let the coin guide him.Not bad.Just odd.
This was an easy decision, though.Very little bad could come of it either way.He did not think Johanna would be upset if he did not wait for her, but he thought it would make her feel good that he had.
Easy.
Harder choices were still to come.
The door to Johanna’s room opened, and she stepped out into the hallway, catching his gaze immediately.Her whole face lit up when she saw him, which was a very nice feeling indeed.
Johanna
Despite her nervousness over what was to come after breakfast, Johanna found herself enjoying the meal immensely.Not just because Bridget was peppering her and Rose with questions about the ball or because Charlotte appeared to be having some kind of mute communication with the air in front of her (or was gracefully moving her hands about for some other reason), but because of Matthew’s clear delight in his life without his coin.
“Do you know, I cannot remember the last time I flipped my coin on what to eat for breakfast?”he whispered to her, sounding positively gleeful.“I make my decisions for my meals all the time without it.”
Johanna’s lips twitched, and she nodded seriously, suppressing her smile.She did not point out that he ate the same thing for breakfast every morning, so it did not surprise her that he would have no trouble with that choice.He was so very happy to have discovered it.
His joy was utterly endearing.It was something she’d appreciated about him before—the lightness he had about him.If she had not known about his childhood, she might have thought it was due to his position and privilege, but while he might have been the son of a duke and all that entailed, he had not known the love and care that she’d gotten from her parents.
Now, watching him, seeing his appreciation for realizing how many choices he’d made on his own, without his coin, she felt emotion well up in her breast.The same emotion she had not wanted to admit to before.
She was happy that he was happy.
Because she loved him.
Just as she wanted her siblings and Rose to be happy because she loved them.
Although it was a very different kind of love, to be sure.
