I honestly couldn’t tell if it helped, but Ember’s brow furrowed as she considered her next move.
“Should we just take care of lust now?”
The carelessness with which she cast the word in my direction told me all I needed to know. If she felt her lust was outside of her control, she’d take back control this way. I might have let her, just to force her to reckon with it once our trial was complete, but the magic was too valuable to waste.
“As fun as that would be, Chaos, I think we need the healing ability. We need to strategize about what powers we can survive without.”
Her cheeks pinked, and I marveled at how quickly her mind shifted tactics. “Sadness. I won’t use it.”
She seemed to realize what she’d said. What part of her soul she wanted to bare next. She lifted the mug to her lips and drank deeply.
Ava returned at that moment. “So, this is going well. Have you been like this the whole time you’ve been gone?”
Ember wiped her mouth with her sleeve and nodded. “It’s been worse.”
The smile Ava turned on her seemed genuine. Alaric and Ava had been close. It wouldn’t have surprised me to learn that Ava was privy to information about Ember that I hadn’t been granted. Suddenly, I felt like Ember, wondering who had known what. Had Ava known who Ember was to me? Had she kept it from me with Alaric?
Something in the open features of her face when she turned to me told me the answer. She hadn’t known. She’d been as confused by Alaric’s disappearance as the rest of us.
I shook myself free of the meandering thoughts. “We need to get into Alaric’s workshop. Is it being watched?”
Ember glanced at me. Her lips twitched with questions, but she didn’t seem willing to ask them in front of Ava.
“We’ve kept an eye on it. The Blessed have been through it multiple times, but no one stands guard. I’ll have to check the schedule, but you should be able to get in tonight. I wouldn’t recommend the front door. There are rewards out for both of you.”
I nodded and glanced at Ember. “Do you want to clean up or anything? Ava’s right, we probably shouldn’t wander around in broad daylight.”
She seemed unwilling to contemplate where she’d clean up. My apartment would be easiest to get in and out of. The stiffening of her posture said she knew it, too.
“Why Alaric’s?” she finally turned to ask me. Apparently, confronting that question was better than thoughts of our night together in my apartment.
I shot her a knowing look, which she seemed determined to ignore. “It’s where…” I sighed. We both had lost him. I knew the wounds were different, but we both had scars from his absence. “It’s where we first learned about all of this. It’s where we both went to learn more. I hoped it could be a place of significance, a place to help us accomplish our tasks.”
Her shoulders dropped a few inches, like she heard what I didn’t say. That it would remind us both of the friend, the uncle, we’d lost. She seemed grateful I didn’t explain our task to Ava. I would eventually, but Ava would cackle with delight at trials that forced me to share my feelings, and that was the last thing we needed right now.
I spent so much time worrying about Ember sharing her emotions, I blocked out the fact that I’d have to share mine, too.
“Fine,” Ember said.
Ava’s eyes narrowed as she attempted to deduce our mission.
“We’ll be in the city for a while. We need somewhere to sleep,” I said to redirect Ava’s attention to a more productive task.
“Your apartment is undisturbed,” she said. “Guards have been through the tavern multiple times, but they don’t seem to know that’s your place.”
I shook my head. “Ember needs one of the rooms in the tavern.”
Ava nodded, and before I could glance at Ember, the flavor of mint cooled my mouth.
Fucking Chaos. Could I do nothing right? Did she want to stay in my apartment?
The cart ride had left me tangled in knots, and I just wanted to get this entire set of emotions taken care of as quickly as possible. I knew it wouldn’t work that way. Somehow, I knew that each trial would be stickier, messier, and more uncomfortable than the last.
15
Sebastien never wanted his summons. That meant you wouldn't fight your opponent to survive. I wasn’t always convinced that it meant more.
— ALARIC SARE’S PAPERS FOR EMBERLINE ARKOVA
