“If you remember them this well, what do you think I’ll find?” The question had more bite to it than I expected.
Hart, however, didn’t seem phased. He shrugged. “I’m not sure a curse like ours has ever existed. But an obvious way out would be for you to decline the calling. I know you accepted it…”
My nostrils flared as I ignored my every instinct and looked up, glaring at him. “But you think if I chose once, I could choose again?”
He stared at me for a long moment. The discomfort spread from my chest to my limbs. My leg bounced beneath the table, and I tried desperately to stop it. Then he nodded. “And we may learn something from Delphine’s journals about how that could be done.”
“What about Kavios?” I strained not to meet his forest green eyes.What about you?I didn’t ask.
Hart shrugged as if the fate of the kingdom we both called home was no concern of his. He set another volume on my stack. “You could also read this one. Learn from Delphine’s approach. She killed Order’s Champion.”
I swallowed, my throat all of a sudden dry, and glanced at the book. It should have occurred to me that killing my opponent was one of the easier solutions to the problem.
Fucking Chaos.
Cursing the goddess only served to remind me of the Hart I’d known in Kavios. I sighed and massaged my temples. No matter how many feelings I denied for this man, I did not believe I could kill him. Even if, at this moment, he appeared oddly calm about the idea.
If nothing else, he’d done everything to deny his summons.It didn’t matter whether I understood his reasons. He didn’t deserve death for something he hadn’t chosen.
“That seems”—I gestured between us—“undesirable.”
His lip curled into a smirk. This time, he didn’t fight it. “I’m glad you feel that way.”
I froze. Had he really considered this a possibility? My gaze slowly lifted to meet his. “Do you think me capable of such a thing?”
He ran his hand through his chocolate brown hair. More stray pieces fell from the knot at his nape. “I think you’re capable of anything you set your mind to, Chaos.”
He wielded the name like a weapon. I held my gaze steady, not daring to flinch as he used it.
I had killed when necessary. I had used my nightmare magic on those who attacked us in the Oldwood. A tightness grew in my chest, like my blouse was suddenly three sizes too small and cutting off the air flowing to my lungs. They had tried to kill Hart while he defended me.
“I’ve defended myself, Hart. There’s a difference.”
This time, the way his lip quirked was more familiar, like he tried to hide his actual delight at my reply. “If memory serves, you defended me, not yourself.”
I ignored his correction and turned my attention to the stack of books. “Have we taken killing each other off the table? Can I read now?”
Hart looked thoughtful. “You have no fear that I’d attempt to take your life.”
It wasn’t a question, just an observation. What sent gooseflesh pebbling my skin was the confidence with which he said it.You have no fear.The peppery heat. The smoky tang. The cool, minty flavor I’d experienced yesterday—I’d been so sure those werehim.
He couldn’t possibly taste them, too, could he?
6
The Champion's value to Themis is their ability to serve her above all else.
— WHAT MAKES A CHAMPION OF ORDER
HART
Each day, we read silently for hours, and each evening, she holed up on the balcony with Charon. I sensed every time her mood shifted. What was worse, she wiped sweat from her brow when I was angry. She looked oddly refreshed when I was sad. Her cheeks sucked in like she’d tasted a lemon when she spent extra time asking questions and batting her eyes at the librarian. The way she studied me, the same way she studied the pages of herbooks, as each of the flavors ofmyemotions hit her, told me everything I needed to know.
She knew. She knew she sensed my emotions, and she planned to ignore this, too.
As her question in the library evidenced, she had no intention of leaving Kavios to its fate. She’d break our curse, find a way to be rid of me, and then she’d return to … what? Start a rebellion on her own? Would she really ignore the fact that I had already built the Feared? That I would hand them to her in a heartbeat?
Fucking Chaos. How had we ended up here?
