“She needs space to do this,” Carter says, blocking my path as I turn on my heel again. He’s rooted by the dresser, coffee steaming in his hand, eyes tracking my every move. “Stick to the plan.”
“Fuck the plan,” I grit out, pacing the bedroom. “You haven’t seen her fall back into that blank fucking doll whenever she talks to him. She disassociates so bad the only way I can get her back is to trigger a rage fit.”
I stop, press my palm against the bathroom door and rest my forehead against it. My heart’s hammering and my jaw aches from clenching.
I’m being irrational. I fucking know. I also know Leilani’s tough. She doesn’t need me breathing down her neck or worrying like a madman while she’sliterallybehind the door, physically safe.
But that’s the problem, isn’t it?
She’s onlyphysicallysafe. Her head’s a whole different story and that’s what has me damn near climbing the walls.
My head’s full of images I’d love to bleach out of there. Every video clip Ryder showed me. The pictures Leilani painted with every story time. Her dull eyes whenever she talked to Anton and all I could do was watch.
It’s the helplessness that gets me most. I can’tdoanything.
I can’t kill the fucker.
I can’t heal her trauma.
I can’t turn back time.
And now, I can’t even keep my shit together for her sake.
She shouldn’t worry about me, but I’m a weak, needy, certifiable big baby and instead of sitting my ass down while she’s doing our dirty work, I—once again—feel like shedding my skin.
“Please...” she chokes out from the other side of the door, her voice breaking. “Please don’t let them. I... I stole a phone. They said, they—”
My throat scratches like I’ve swallowed a fistful of nails.
“Leilani,” I whisper. She won’t hear me, but I can’t just do nothing when I hear her crying, so I pretend to help her calm down. “I’m right here, hellcat.”
“I heard them,” she yelps. “They want to sell me!”
That’s not true, but it has an instant effect on me. Ifeelfury at the mere concept and slam my fist against the door.
She’s too distraught. Trapped somewhere between reality and that numb place Anton created inside her head. This has to end. Rightnow, but before I can hit it again, Carter grabs my arm.
“Not yet. She hasn’t told him where she is. I know you’re worried, but she’s right here and she’s selling it.”
“She’s not,” I snap, ripping my hand free to shove him back. “She’s falling apart. That’s enough.”
Inside, her voice rises into a wailing, petrified pitch. “Please. Please, don’t let them—”
“Leilani!”
“No!” she screams, her panic lacing right through me.
“Leilani! Open up!” I bang my fist against the door so hard the frame rattles.
“No, he lied to you,” she sobs.
I step back, bracing to shoulder the door down. Carter shifts into my path.
“Not yet,” he emphasizes, but even his voice is tight, betraying a widening crack in his composure.
Inside, it sounds like Leilani’s on the brink of a panic attack.
“They did... I couldn’t do anything. I couldn’t fight them! Just help me. Take me. I’m in Pittsburgh and—” The rest of her words drown in her sobs.
