I fucking broke this girl with my lies.
Fixing her, fixing the mess I’ve made while trying to protect her, won’t be easy. She rebuilt herself from the ground up when she forgot Alex. Not even getting those painful memories of him back pushed her off course, but my betrayal hit her hard. I think it mingles with Alex’s betrayal, the two now interchangeable, fueling each other.
And all I have are words and promises. They’re not enough to restore her trust. She needs to see how much I care. That among the plethora of mistakes I’ve made, she’s been my priority and focus since the moment I first kissed her.
Maybe sooner.
I lean out further, pressing my lips to her forehead. “It never ends, Hailey.Wenever end. I’ll show you. I don’t know how, but I will, and when you see it, you’re mine.”
19
HAILEY
There’s so much conviction in Carter’s voice.
So much false promise...
And what’s the point? We both know I don’t mean any more to him than any other woman. I’m not important. The evidence is.
Carter seems to think rebuilding my trust is the only way to get his hands on whatever Alex found out.
It isn’t.
Not anymore because while he held me in his arms, stroking my back, I realized something important.
Happiness is peculiar: a treasure people chase their whole lives, entirely convinced it’s a fixed point, a destination they’ll eventually reach and stay at forever.
I fell into that trap. I was certain Nash was my endgame. That I’d found happiness, and it’d last until death us do part.
Now I know better.
Happiness isn’t a destination. It’s a journey made up of moments that come, go, and linger in our heads, giving us memories to look back on with joy.
Sometimes, we’re so wrapped up in our own pain, we miss happiness when it comes knocking, only realizing it was there, so close, when it’s too late. The trick is to recognize and seize those moments when they appear.
Looking back at my life, my childhood memories are my happiest. Not many from my teenage years make me smile, and judging by my flashbacks, none from the past two years.
Until Nash.
If I drew a line representing my life and added tiny lights for the happy memories, the weeks at Lakeside would shine brightest. I don’t trust him, I don’t believe his words, but that shouldn’t doom me to eternal darkness.
I’m not his forever, merely a step he needs to take toward his goal. I’m easily left behind, but the time we have now doesn’t need to be devoid of light. He’ll move on when he finds the evidence, but while he’s here, as long as I don’t hold on too tightly, I can love him.
Life is a collection of moments, and with Nash I can make happy ones... if only I can make him drop the mask and stop pretending I mean more to him than the evidence.
He still strokes my thighs, the move lacking any sexual undertone. It’s an inconsequential touch, but it wakes a kaleidoscope of butterflies in my tummy.
It makes me want to smile.
“You told me to get dressed,” I say, covering his hands with mine and squeezing. “Whose clothes are in the closet?”
He lets me go, rising to his full, imposing height. Not for the first time today, a wave of heat crashes into my cheeks.
I thought he couldn’t get any hotter when I saw him at Lakeside that first day in the cafeteria. The black, tight-fittingpullover hugged his broad shoulders, honing out every muscle to perfection, but Nash’s sense of style has nothing on Carter’s.
In a white shirt, two buttons popped, a waistcoat that matches his pants, expensive watch and leather bracelets on his wrists... he’s scorching hot. Somehow more intimidating, even in white.
Nash’s aura of ruthlessness and power is nothing compared to what’s emanating from Carter. He’s sharp around the edges, all harsh lines, and get-this-done-now energy.
