I look away, hiding behind my hair becausekinkysparks another enticing reminder.
“I want to see how many kinks I can unlock.”
I meet Carter’s gaze, and the heat burning in his eyes tells me both our minds are reliving our intimate moments at Lakeside while his men wait for a decision.
“Ryder,” he finally says, his knuckles white around the crystal glass Koby shoved in his hand a moment ago. “Get me a picture of Aalyiah. As recent as you can.” Leaving his drink on the coffee table, he sits beside me, his knees spread wide. “Here, Hailey.” He taps the space between his legs. “You know the drill.”
I move, drawn to him like a moth to a flame. He’s been gone less than twelve hours. We had sex first thing this morning but, after weeks of self-imposed distance, I need him close all the time.
His barely audible, sharp inhale when I sit between his legs sparks goosebumps down my body and his arm around my middle molds me further into him.
It’s a small gesture, insignificant to a passive observer, but I’m a goner once his thumb starts grazing my ribs. He’s not unaffected either. I feel the way he reacts to the faintest touch; how much he craves me this close and closer still.
His chest expands, the hard pane of muscles both a cage and the safest place on earth.
“Got it!” Ryder announces, coming over with his laptop.
“Eyes, Hailey,” Carter orders. “Keep them closed until I say otherwise. You try running and I’m snapping you out of it.” Histwo-day old stubble tickles my skin as his lips brush my ear. “Quiet. All of you. Not a word.”
“Yeah, alright,” Broadway says somewhere behind us, his heavy boots shuffling closer.
“Ready?” Carter asks, splaying his fingers across my ribs.
He’s way over the top with those safety measures but I don’t point it out because my stomach’s twisting like a wrung-out rag. I’m seconds away from seeing the girl Alex considered more important than me. The girl who took him from me. The girl who got the best parts of him, and left me the worst.
I bob my head, quickly grasping Carter’s arm with both hands, my nails biting his skin.
“Open your eyes.”
I take a second before I do, steeling for whatever might come. A part of me is so resigned after weeks of no flashbacks that it doesn’t think it’ll work.
But a much bigger part knows it will. If I ever did see this girl, it will work. She’s been an enigma at the front of my mind, at the center of my flashbacks, even if indirectly, for weeks. Every encounter with Alex somehow oscillated around her. She was always present even though she wasn’t there.
Whenever he came over, I knew he’d either just come back from her, or was heading out to see her. I knew he’d give her everything I craved: cuddles, kisses, attention—love.
The hatred I feel for a girl I never met is so potent it’s been slowly poisoning me since my memories started returning.
What did she have that I didn’t? Why did Alex choose her even though I did everything to please him? Why did I care about a man who loved someone else?
My nails sink further into Carter’s skin. On cue, he resumes the slow path of his thumb gliding over my ribs. His warm breath fans my neck and his scent makes me feel safe. It helpsdouse the jealousy inside me... the insecurities peeking out their ugly head whenever I think about Alex and Aalyiah.
Letting a steady breath past my parted lips, I peek a little and I see her. Between the curtain of my eyelashes, I see the girl who was more than I ever could be. The girl who gave Alex everything I couldn’t.
She’s gorgeous.
So pretty she looks photoshopped. Her young face is immaculate, not one scar or blemish. Long, brown, shiny hair tumbles around her arms in thick waves. She has dark eyes—almost as dark as Carter’s. Dark eyebrows and lashes. Small nose, full lips the color of roses blooming in full sun and twisting into a genuine, carefree smile.
A lump forms in my throat while my eyes dart all over her face, scrutinizing every detail. My eyes move lower, tracing the column of her throat, and it feels like I’ve been sucker-punched when I spot a silver pendant dangling from a delicate chain.
It’s a heart. Almost identical to the one Alex gave me. Almost... but not broken. Perfectly intact.
I sink.
I dive into the past so quickly it gives me whiplash. The living room shakes around me while I fall like Alice until everything stops and my surroundings sharpen, revealing a bedroom I’ve seen many times before.
My bedroom in Ohio. Clearer than ever. Light-gray furniture, navy-blue bedspread, fluffy cushions. The closet is open, my flimsy little dresses on display.
A knock at the main door jars the empty, silent house. It’s almost seven in the evening and Dad rarely comes back before midnight these days.
