We kept our relationship a secret because of the age difference and his job. And it wasa relationship. I remember the hours we spent on the couch, watching TV, cuddling and kissingwhile Dad wasn’t home, and the stolen, longing looks whenever he was.
I remember how gentle Alex was with me at first, but I don’t remember how we went from whisperedI can’t wait until we’re alone, sweetheartinpassing while Dad sat watching TV after dinner, toyou’re a dirty fucking slut.
The clock on my nightstand clicks another minute over. I don’t have much time before I have to haul myself across campus for my morning acting class. It’s a miracle I’m alone; Nash rarely lets me out of his sight.
He worries what will happen when a bad memory pulls me under. At least he hasn’t witnessed my sleep paralysis yet.
It’s eased off lately, right about the same time I started getting less traumatic memories back.
With a deep breath for courage, I slide my thumb across the screen and press the phone to my ear. It rings once, twice—
“Morning, sunshine,” Dad chirps. “Everything okay?”
I usually call in the evening while I’m lying with my head in Nash’s lap, the conversations short and clipped.
“I’d like to come home for Halloween weekend,” I say before I lose my nerve. “Just two nights.”
He sighs deeply, a sigh I know so well. The sigh of a father explaining the same thing for the hundredth time.
“You know that’s not possible.”
“My head’s fine now. You know that. It’s been weeks, there’s no swelling left, I’m okay. I can handle coming home, Dad. I remember the house. My room, the kitchen, the living room... I remember. Seeing it won’t hurt me.”
“That’s not for you to decide, Hailey, you—”
“Then have Dr. Phillips check me over. There’s a hospital in town. I can get a brain scan done today.”
“This isn’t just about your head. You’re safe at college. Your accident...” Another sigh. Deep, defeated. So pained it tears at my heart. “It wasn’t an accident.”
No shit. I figured that out a while back, yet hearing him say it still knocks the breath out of my chest.
“I wasn’t driving,” I add what little information I have, my stomach roiling. “You lied.”
“I know, sunshine. I’m sorry. You have no idea how much it cost me to lie to you after I promised I never would, but I had to. It’s for your own good. I’m trying to protect you.”
I’ve heard it all before. Alex said the exact same thing the night I threatened to tell Dad about his involvement with the mystery girl.She’s the key. If only I knew her name...
“You can’t come home. Not until I know you’ll be safe here. I’m working on it, I swear, but I can’t tell you everything.”
“You meananything,” I snap, flinging my bag over my shoulder. “Whatever happened involvesme, Dad. Maybe if I remembered, I could help? Have you thought about that?!”
“That’s all I think about,” he admits quietly. “But I won’t risk your life by bringing you home unless you’re not safe where you are.”
Nash’s face flickers on the backs of my eyelids. The anger in his eyes when he saw me hurt, how obscenely protective he is, how unhealthily possessive and territorial.
I am safe.
He won’t let a hair fall off my head.
“I’m safe,” I murmur.
“Then you’re staying right where you are until I know I can bring you home. I’m doing everything to make that happen as soon as possible, sunshine. Just... give me a bit more time.”
All the battle seeps out of me when Dad’s voice cracks. This is as hard on him as it is on me. Probably ten times worse because he knows what he’s up against. He’s out there, fighting,while I’m cocooned in this safety net he and Nash have woven around me.
“Okay,” I mutter, closing my eyes. “Okay, I’ll stay here.”
???
