Sheis my priority.
Alex didn’t have her pleasure in mind, though. He must’ve called her a slut to belittle her. That’s different. That’s fuckingvile.
“Can you hand me a towel?” Hailey mutters, falling back, her butt hitting the cold tiles.
“Are you feeling better? I’m sorry, I—”
“It’s okay.” She wipes her mouth, her hand shaking. “I don’t know all that much about sex, but I know what a degradation kink is and I know you don’t think I’m cheap, dirty, or a slut.”
I kiss her head, my lips lingering on her skin. “You don’t realize how important you are to me.”
She gives me a small, crooked smile, scrambling to her feet. The sound of the toilet flush fills the room, then the trickle of running water as Hailey brushes her teeth, grasping the counter like she doesn’t trust her legs yet.
“I need to know what you saw, pretty girl,” I say, leaning against the wall, still restless, still feeling out of place.
“I don’t remember much... just that he—” She stops, shaking her head. “It doesn’t matter, I’m sorry I freaked out.”
“Don’tapologize. You didn’t freak out. You were shaking, but you didn’t try to go anywhere. You didn’t scream or try to fight me off, you were scared. So fucking scared. What did you see?”
She pops the toothbrush back in the holder with a shaky hand, staring at me in the mirror. “It’s embarrassing.”
“Whatever it is, whatever you saw, I need to know, so I don’t trigger you again.”
Scooping her off the floor, I take her into the room, helping her into her nightdress. She sits in the corner of the bed, her back to the wall, knees close to her chin, cheeks red.
I slip into my boxers and give Hailey space as I drag the wingback chair closer. “Go on. Tell me what Alex did.”
With a defeated sigh, she relents, meeting my eyes. “Ever since that flashback I had in your car I... I keep seeing...” She swallows hard, pinching the comforter between her fingers. “That’s why I didn’t think I was a virgin... because if we’d donethatI assumed we’d had sex.”
I rest my elbows on my knees, leaning forward. “Whatdid you do with him?”
She quivers, shame heating her cheeks, eyes darting left and right. I remember how panicked she was when she leapt out of my car in the woods. I remember the things I imagined after reading her diary... I couldn’t have been further off the mark.
I considered abuse.Verbalabuse. I considered physical violence, too, but never sexual, and now she’s here... trembling on the bed after puking her guts out.
“He’d shove me to my knees and—” A lone tear slides down her cheek, driving me crazy.
She doesn’t have to spell it out.
“Did he force you?” I ask through clenched teeth, pure wrath coursing through my veins.
God, I’d give my right arm if someone could reanimate that fucker so I could kill him.
“Sometimes,” she admits quietly. “Sometimes I did it so he wouldn’t be so... cruel. He didn’t care if I couldn’t breathe.” With visible strain, her eyes come back to mine. “And just now... I saw... he wouldn’t ease up, I threw up over...it, and he said I was a dirty slut.”
“Fuck.” I run a hand down my face, pinching the bridge of my nose. “I’m sorry, Hailey, had I known—”
“You didn’t,” she cuts in. “Don’t apologize. Even I didn’t know he called me that until you said it. I don’t know if he was so ruthless every time. Maybe I’ve remembered the worst of it. He was always angry, even more so if he... if he didn’t finish.”
My temper hits sky high.
Cold hands grip my throat, halving the capacity of my lungs knowing that fucker hurt my girl. I’m not far off breaking out in hives I’m so pissed off.
“You should’ve told me sooner,” I say, pumping my fists. “Why do you want to go down on me if you’ve only got bad memories about being on your knees?”
“You’ve never made me feel scared or used. I love everything we do in bed and... maybe I can replace the bad memories with good ones. I trust you. I know you won’t force me if I don’t like it, that you’ll stop when I say stop.”
Jesus...
