She broke me first.
Without trying, she chipped through the walls I built years ago. One day I was hell-bent on using her, the next I couldn’t breathe when I saw her tears.
She changed the rules, but the game’s still on, and right now, I should be heading out.
“Hailey,” I whisper, rousing her from sleep. My initial plan to sneak out gets tossed aside. If I can’t give her everything she deserves, I’ll do better with the little things. “Wake up, I’m leaving.”
“Leaving?” She sighs softly, moving onto her back, eyes still closed. “Where are you going? Is it morning?”
“Not yet. I’m needed at home. You stay here.” That gets her to look at me through heavy eyelids. “I’ll be back tomorrow night.”
“Is everything okay?”
Nothing outside our bubble is okay.
“Yes, don’t worry and don’t do anything stupid while I’m gone.” I kiss her forehead, inhaling the fresh scent of her hair. “Sleep, pretty girl.”
33
Hailey
Warm water soothes the stinging soreness between my legs while the cogs in my brain turn, dissecting my memories of Alex again. I’m searching for any explanation, any hint why we never had sex, even though I remember at least three separate occasions when he fucked my mouth.
Why dothatbut fail to go the distance? The second Nash thrust in, I knew no one had never touched me that way. I overheard enough first-time stories in high school to have an idea of how that goes down. Some girls complained about pain, others said it didn’t hurt a thing, some cursed their selfish boyfriends while others gushed about their caring ones.
The girls’ changing room was a goldmine of information about first love, first breakups, and first sex.
I’ve seen movies. I’ve read books. I even hadthe talkwith Mom, so I had the basic idea... but none of it explains why Alex never fucked me.
He happily made me gag on his cock, so why not shove it elsewhere? Why not take my virginity?
Were we working our way up to sex or was he not interested in it? Was it my age? Lack of experience?
Maybe my looks...
Come to think about it, I don’t remember him ever undressing me. Not even to come over my boobs. There are a few scars on my body that I can’t hide with concealer. Like the one marking my thigh; it’s ragged, raised, long, hard to conceal. Almost impossible.
I hug my knees and prop my forehead there.
Frustration squeezes my throat and a block of ice settles in the pit of my stomach.
Forgettingsucks.
A knock on my bedroom door makes my ears perk up. Nash left five hours ago and said he won’t be back until tomorrow evening, so it’s—
“Hailey!” Chloe’s voice reaches my ears, accompanied by a rattle of the door handle. “Hailey wake up!” she repeats, her voice much clearer.
I didn’t lock the door after Nash left.
“I’m in the bath,” I yell, snatching a towel off the rail. “What’s wrong?”
“Have you seen Jensen since the party?” She shoves past me, scanning the room like she thinks I’m hiding him under the bed. “No one’s seen him.”
“I left early, remember? Did he not come back with you?”
“No, I came back with Rachel. Jensen was...busywith some girl.” She plops down on my bed.
My cheeks flare because there are still red stains on the mattress cover, hidden beneath the comforter.
