It’s true. She did nothing wrong. Not one fucking thing. She didn’t lie or lead me by the nose. She was crystal clear about my role on this fancy yacht. She was crystal clear about not wanting any of the things I’ve yearned for and what did I do?
I blanked it all out. No one to blame but myself for this mess. A mess I should’ve fucking foreseen but this girl put me under a spell at Express Dates and hasn’t let go since.
There were clues. Blatant, obvious, glaring clues: when I fell asleep with a shit-eating grin, knowing she was just behind my bedroom wall; when we spent hours talking, preparing for this trip and I couldn’t stop asking questions, hungry for every scrap of information; when I kissed her head for the first time and my world tilted on its axis.
I should’ve known I’d fall for her.
And I should’ve fucking nipped it in the bud because she wants a life without a family.
“I don’t want to get married. I don’t want kids.”
She fuckingtoldme and what did I do?
I.
Blanked.
It.
All.
Out.
“You did nothing wrong,” I repeat, entering the bathroom.
“Then what happened? We were fine before I left for dinner, and now you’re acting so... socold.”
I make a show of looking around, the veins in my neck ticking wildly. “No audience to impress.”
Tears well in her eyes, but she wipes them away, adamantly keeping her composure. “Don’t push me away. Talk to me. Whatever I did that upset you, I’m sorry, okay? I thought we were friends. Friends talk.”
My head snaps to her, anger gushing through me, uncontainable. That’s a step too goddamn far.
“Friends?Friends, Addie? Really? That’s funny. I don’t think you used that word when you told your dad we’ve been lying through our teeth the whole time. I believe the word you used wasstrangers.” I swallow hard, briefly closing my eyes to get a hold of myself. “You can’t act like I mean something to you when you wake up, call me a stranger a few hours later, and suddenly decide we’re friends.”
Her lips part, then close, then part again. No words. She has no answer. No comeback. Of course not. Looks like Victoria was right about something.
I’m nothing more than a means to an end.
“Get out, Addie. I need a shower.”
Tears slide down her cheeks as she stares at me wide-eyed, worrying her bottom lip. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like that. I just—” She chokes, wiping her eyes, a sight I can barely stomach. “I didn’t mean it, I swear.”
Her voice breaks, and along with it, every cell in my body screams. I can’t handle this. I’m fuming, disappointed, dying a slow death knowing she won’t be mine, but my explosive cocktail of emotions ebbs, leaving behind just the need to hold her, and make her feel better.
My heart and mind go to war as fresh tears wet her cheeks. We have one day left. Less than twenty-four hours before we part ways. That’s all. One more day of memories I’ll relive for years to come.
As much as I want to storm out and start licking my wounds, my heart tells me I’ll regret that sooner than I think. It’s not her fault our goals don’t align. I can’t be angry she doesn’t want the same future I do. We have a different outlook on life, but neither’s wrong.
“You’re not a stranger,” she whispers, wiping her nose with the back of her hand. “I don’t know why I said that. I was just playing this...usdown in front of my dad because I can’t wrap my head around it yet. We happened so fast, Colt. Dad wouldn’t understand. Not now. In time, yes, but we’ve only known each other a week, and even I don’t understand how that’s enough to fall in—”
“Don’t say it,” I plead, pinching the bridge of my nose. There’s nothing I want to hear more, but walking away from her will be that much harder if she says it.
I cross the room, sit on the bed, and hide my face in my hands. It takes me two solid minutes to align my thoughts. Her unspoken admission hangs between us, testing my resolve.
I try to imagine a life where she won’t take my surname. A life without kids.
I try flushing my dreams down the drain just so I can hold onto her, but the idea of having a family sprouted roots a long time ago and those roots reach deep into my bones.
