They barge inside, scowls turning to concern as they take me in. I don’t think I look any different. I still eat, shower, and manage to stop myself downing a bottle of vodka every evening, but I hardly sleep... I guess it shows.
“I want her to have it,” I say, eyes on Cody, who’s picking out glasses from the drinks cabinet in the corner. “It’s not like either one of us has any use for a big bird cage.”
He turns, less hostility in his eyes than his texts. “And let me guess,” he huffs, flexing his fingers like he’s always done when he’s annoyed. “You won’t take it to her, so I have to. Fine, I’ll drop it off. I’ll even unload the parts, but that’s it. She can figure out how to assemble it herself.”
I nod, a silentthanks.
“Oh, no, no, no, no,no,” he chants, handing out the glasses. “First, you’ll spill your guts. We’re not leaving until you tell us what the fuck happened.”
They all nod while Nico pours himself, Theo, and Shawn whiskeys, the others cradling Coronas.
“Where are the kids?” I ask Logan, easing myself into the conversation. Getting any words out doesn’t come easy lately. “Isn’t Cassidy in Milan with Blair?”
“She is,” he confirms. “Mia’s taking care of the kids. All the girls and Jack are at Nico’s, and the kids are having a party, so we have plenty of time. Start talking.”
They came prepared... made sure they had the entire evening available. Not that they’ll still be here in an hour. Well, maybe they will, but I sure won’t.
Knowing damn well I’m not escaping this conversation, I start from the top. Over the years, we’ve had to get together and talk through one or other brother’s problem dozens of times. No matter how big or small the issue, the seven of us together can find the solution.
They won’t in this case, but after years of listening to them vent and seeing it help them center themselves, I hope voicing the riot in my head will at least calm me down a little.
So I rant.
I tell them everything, how we met, how right away I couldn’t stop thinking about her, how much I loved having her in my house, how fucking amazing it felt to wake up every morning and see her face, how well we clicked, how fun she is...
They ask supporting questions, and I indulge them, painting a detailed picture of the whole week. I tell them how scared I was when she sat on the bridge. I tell them I would’ve jumped after her.
And only when I’m certain they understand how deep my feelings for this girl run do I explainwhyit all went to shit.
“She never wants to get married,” I say, staring at the cherry of my cigarette. “Doesn’t want kids.”
“She’s twenty-two,” Shawn pipes in. “She’s young. Marriage and kids aren’t her priority. You don’t know what’ll happen a year or two down the line. You just met, Colt.”
Theo nods. “He’s right. I never considered a family until after I met Thalia. Maybe Addie will change her mind down the line? Maybe she just wants to finish school first? You’re making a mistake letting her go so fast.”
That’s plausible, but... “What if she doesn’t? I know every relationship requires compromise, and believe me, I’d fucking compromise on whatever, butthis... I can’t. It’s too big. I want a family. She doesn’t. She was very clear on that. I won’t risk spending a few years with her hoping she’ll change her mind, only to lose her when she doesn’t.”
Glancing at the clock, my leg bounces against the tiles. I should be on my way to the meeting point. Instead, I’m stuck at home with my brothers, listening to their poor advice.
They mean well. I’m grateful they give a fuck, but I’m in no state of mind for their visit tonight. I’m too impatient to press the gas pedal to the floor and feel my adrenaline spike dangerously high.
“Listen... I know you’re stubborn, bro, but this isn’t the time for that,” Conor says. “From what you said, you’ve not really talked this through. She didn’t even tell youwhyshe doesn’t want to get married.”
“Why did you want to get married?” I ask, my tone clipped.
As much as I love my brother, he’s talking out of his ass. I suppress my smirk at the last thought. The British company on the yacht has rubbed off on me. Henry used that phrase all the time during our poker nights, and it never failed to make me laugh.
“Why did any of you?” I continue, looking around the room. “Addie doesn’t need a reasonnottowant a family, same way none of us need a reason wedo. It’s a choice. It doesn’t require justification.”
Nico nods solemnly, unnaturally quiet this evening. He usually commands the room, but tonight, he’s hanging back, drilling those black eyes into me like he’s trying to unpick my brain.
“There’s not always a reason,” he admits slowly. “There doesn’t need to be, but sometimes there is one, and you’re dumb for not asking.”
My head hits the back of the couch. They’re fucking exhausting. I know they want what’s best for me. And I know they might be right. Maybe Addie does have a solid reason we could work around. Perhaps she’ll change her mind at some point. She’s young, ambitious...
Butmaybeis not enough. I can’t imagine my life without a family. I want kids. I want a girl who’ll carry my name. As much as I want that girl to be Addie, I can’t risk losing any more time.
I’ve waited for my happy ending too long already.
