I snatch the phone, sending her a short text.
Me: Care to tell me what’s going on? Why are you avoiding me?
My foot taps against the floor while I wait for the reply, ignoring the messages coming in to the Sausage Fest chat.
B: I’m not avoiding you.
My clenched fist slowly uncurls on the table and the muscles in my jaw relax, making me realize I’ve been mindlessly grinding my teeth while waiting for her message.
Cody: Fine, then come over tonight. No questions.
The reply comes back, so does the tension. It seizes my muscles so hard they cramp. The involuntary reflex also makes my fist clench, and since I’m holding the phone, the screen cracks. A hairline fracture in the bottom left corner, but it’s enough to skyrocket my temper.
B: I can’t. I’m sorry.
I look up to the ceiling, muttering under my breath.Kick me when I’m down, why don’t you?
Three days is a long time to think. Last night, to keep myself occupied, I worked out Blair and I have been sleeping around for eight weeks.Eightweeks. Two months of sex. I’ve not had a relationship this long with any other woman in my entire life. Not even Ana came close.
During those two months, she’s texted me variations ofnot tonighta dozen times, butI can’thits differently. Given the situation, it feels like a gentler way of sayingwe’re done.
And knowing we’re done, that I won’t see her, touch her,kissher drives me to the brink of a nervous breakdown.
Two months, but I’ve not had my fill yet. Not even close. If anything, I want more.
Boy, am I in trouble.
Without thinking, I let the hurt rippling through me take the stage. She should have the guts to tell me the deal is off the table.
Me: If we’re done, it’d be nice to know before I go to Vegas so I don’t keep my dick on a leash all weekend for nothing.
I regret it as soon as I press send. It sounds so fucking wrong... like she’s just a good lay. Like I don’t care about anything other than sex.
I shouldn’tcare.
Jesus...whathave I gotten myself into?
Or better yet,why?
It’s not like I didn’t know any better. I kept the attraction simmering beneath the surface, suppressed and denied, for a long time.Just desire, I told myself. But deep down, I knew the undeniable truth. I knew it when I carried Blair, wasted and unconscious in my arms, out of Brandon’s house after the graduation party.
I knew it when I held her close to my chest, wrapped in my hoodie, in the back seat of Colt’s car.
Fuck, I even knew it when I kissed her and stalked into her bedroom with one goal in mind: fuck her senseless.
I knew, but I ignored it. Belittled the intensity of the magnetic pull between us.
I thoughtI was safe. That I had it under control.
After all those years I saw Blair parading the school corridors in tight dresses, the rumors, and her reputation... I was certain I could keep it physical. I had to, considering everything she did to Mia.
Just sex. Great, intense, raw sex.
But now I’m absolutely fucking screwed. Trapped in a whirlwind of emotions, a damn hurricane tearing through my mind. The text I just sent her might be the lowest I’ve ever sunk, but shit can always get worse.
When her reply arrives, it’s definitely worse. Ten times worse.
B: I can’t because it’s THIS time of the month, but good to know where you stand. Feel free to use your dick whichever way you deem fit.
