“I’ll clean it up. You’re baking, I’m cleaning.”
“Done!” Noah exclaims, flailing the spoon around and spattering everything in sight with batter.
“Yes, we’re done. Now let’s go wash your hands.”
He protests, banging the spoon against the marble countertop, but Blair scoops him up, tickling him until he giggles.
“I’ll sort him out. He needs a change of clothes, too,” I say as she passes him over.
By the time I’ve changed him, Blair’s cleaned the kitchen, and the warm scent of vanilla and sugar emanates from the madeleines in the oven.
“It smells amazing in here,” I say, watching Noah climb onto the couch. “How long before they’re done?”
“Not long now.” Her features soften when she looks over at Noah. “Looks like someone’s tired.”
He lays on the pillow, eyes closed, t-rex tucked under his arm. I wish I could fall asleep that fast. It literally takes him thirty seconds.
“So?” she questions, her tone reserved. “On a scale of one to ten, how much do you regret the other night?” An apologetic look shadows her face when I don’t answer and she gives a tiny shrug. “One of us had to bring it up, don’t you think?”
“I don’t.”
“You’d rather pretend nothing happened?”
“No. I was answering your first question, B. I don’t regret it, to be honest, it was a long time coming.”
Relief floods her face. “So we’re okay? I mean, not okay, obviously. You still hate me because of Mia, but—” She applies the brakes, her guilt-ridden eyes snapping to meet mine. “I’m sorry. I can’t turn back time, Cody. I’ll never be able to right my wrongs, but I want you to know I regret it all...” She heaves a heavy sigh, pushing off the counter like she’s about to flee.
That familiar pang of protectiveness jabs my heart again. She looks so resigned, so hurt, humiliated, and fucking sad, a stark contrast to that façade of arrogance and disdain she presents to the world. I hate this look on her almost as much as the resting bitch face.
Extending my hand to stop her leaving, I pull over a bar stool, gesturing for her to sit, and once she reluctantly does, I grab two cans of Coke from the fridge.
“We’re not okay,” I say, my voice firm but far from rude. “I don’t know if we’ll ever be okay, but I want to hear your story. Why did you do it? Why did you bully Mia? Was it her looks? Those pink dresses riling you up? How shy she is? Smart?”
Blair’s eyes drop to the can as she twists the tab, her fingers twitching. Her silence feels like a thick, oppressive wall between us before she finally speaks.
“I don’t want to make excuses, Cody. It’s inexcusable. I’m just not a good person. Let’s leave it at that.”
That’s been my go-to explanation since I found out about the bullying. Plausible and fitting, but... I’ve had time to get to know Blair a bit these past few weeks. There’s a different side to her. A hurt woman sheltering behind a mask. She’s full of kindness that she mostly refuses to show. Full of smiles and full of tears.
“You’re not all bad. There’s good in you. I don’t know how much because you hide it so well, but I see you with my nephews, B.” The fear in her eyes subsides, so instead of pushing her to share things I’m not even sure I want to hear, I change the subject. “What are your plans for the summer?”
Her features soften, relief slumping her shoulders as she checks on the madeleines.
“I don’t have plans,” she admits.
“No job? Won’t you be bored at home?”
“My dad needs me at short notice a lot, so any paid work is out of the question. I do a bit of volunteering.”
I cock an eyebrow, genuinely surprised. I wouldn’t have guessed Blair had it in her to be selfless. “Where?”
“At the hospital. I spend time at the psychiatric ward, reading, playing chess, and just... offering a companion, I guess. A lot of those people are very lonely.”
Now isn’t that a revelation. I’ve known this girl for years. At least, I thought I did. Turns out there are many layers to her personality that she’s been meticulously hiding. The best parts of her are never on display.
“Why the psychiatric ward?”
“Call it sentiment. My mom had schizophrenia,” she says, and the oven dings, letting us know the cookies are ready.
